Shaolin Soccer (2001) dir Stephen Chow

Fuuuucking hell.

Remember that time Deutsche Bank testified against Trump in a real estate fraud trial? Also did you know JP Morgan’s Dimon is being mooted as a potential leader to go against Trump in the future & a committed democrat. Don’t now why I thought of this now.

Hahahahaaaaaa get in #scotland

Oh

This mural has gone up in Kingston, ostensibly for Christmas but AI has ensured it's actually to celebrate the return of our dark lord Cthulhu

Donkey!

Thinking about this again today

3 year old keeps asking me if his lunch is “grubbly” and I don’t know which one is the good answer

Dan Burn at right back?

Just heard your boyfriend saying he can’t be called racist because he knows all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune

Change a letter, make a singer less appealing: Pariah Carey

Shudder to think what the prevailing takes on this nonce racket email business might be over on that site, but round here I’ve seen an actual “criticising Epstein’s grammar is ableist actually” and it’s so exhaustingly, parodically Bluesky it feels like a trap.

I see the people who make James Bond films are struggling for ideas for more, and I think I’ve got the perfect solution: Just don’t make any. Who’s arsed? Do something else. Or don’t.

Stuff that it simply hadn’t occurred to me was still a thing, part 1 of 1609: Reggae Reggae Sauce

Predictably shameful display from a lot of the British press, especially those who like to cosplay patriotism the loudest, in using this opportunity to trash a British institution rather than call out Trump’s pathetic, transparently insecure bullying.

Nerve wracking times as I had to be in a supermarket with the 3-year-old when the silence came. He earned himself a treat with 2 of the quietest minutes of his life.

As if you wouldn’t draw enough conclusions about the guy in Marple whose front garden features a giant wooden statue of Iron Man with an electric guitar, it’s now got a knights Templar flag on it.

“What’s your business called?” “Carphone Warehouse” “Are there still carphones? I thought they were…” “Obsolete. Everyone has mobiles. In fact illegal. It’s all hands free, they’ve all got Bluetooth” “So what are you going to call it now?” (Leans forward, stares) “Car. Phone. Ware. House.”

“Joelinton’s not going miss from 6 yards out” Dude.

Happy Feliway Day to all cat owners who celebrate

Errrr

I saw an advert for some flats with a work space that said “because commuting is so cringe” and if I was ever going to use the word cringe as an adjective it would be about that specific attempt to use it.

Listen, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from TV and film it’s this: an escaped truckload of diseased, angry monkeys is never going to result in anything significant happening. Relax everyone.

I once gave Prunella Scales tips on how to play scalextric. There it is. That’s the anecdote in full. #MakesUThink

CBeebies is off early. Did someone forget to put the clocks back?

I am once again begging people to say your company name or slogan out loud before you commit to it

Slugsky is in trouble when Snailsky wakes up and logs on

Pumpkin On Your Stereo - Supergrass #HalloweenSongs

At some point I’ll read this and be able to get past “(I measured it)”

“Nick Pope’s distribution is shit…”

I know it’s early but my #Christmas card and gift wrap collection is now available in my online shop www.gailmyerscough.co.uk/christmas-ca...

Every time I click on a guardian link it comes up with the slogan “under pressure, undeterred” and I wonder if anyone said it out loud before they approved it

I mean…

Without downloading, where are you mentally right now?

I’m just glad Margaret Thatcher isn’t alive to see all this. Well, not to see all this specifically. Just in general.

Literal nine actual full English pounds for a pint last night in that Co op Live. On the plus side Little Simz was amazing. Absolutely phenomenal performer.

No, no I don’t want to see that. I don’t suppose that question is actually being asked though.

Here’s the deal. He can have it next year if it’s posthumous.

It’s mad when people decide that some music is objectively good for exercise regardless of context. Took the 3yo swimming & the big pool had an aquarobics class on. Dozens of women, all appeared aged 65+, being “motivated” by deafening eurotrance and looking absolutely appalled. Who’s that for?

Aaaand the boiler has packed in

Not saying my yearning for autumnal comfort food got the better of me but today I put the school back into old school and made a cheese and onion pie that proustian rushed me back about 40 years

“I’ve picked fights with people I knew could beat me up. That’s the kind of person I am” - Ange Postecoglou So, the kind of person you are is a silly, weird prick? Good to know, nice one

“Hey, do you fancy watching this film?” “Yeah, could do, who’s in it?” “Well, actually the lead actor’s AI” “Hahaha fuck no.”

Yeah, but are you having a “my 3-year-old found a crayon in the car” morning?

I mean I’m not saying my 5 year old is Paul Simon but I’m pretty sure he also started with lyrics about his little brother “farting in a bin”.

In case anyone’s concerned about the relentless march of time and technology, it may be comforting to know that my wife tried to renew her driving licence and she has to pay by cheque or postal order like it’s nineteen eighty fucking one.

Arsenal (h) #nufc

Actively avoids getting the horn

Rapture, is it?