(Narrows eyes) Hmm maybe it WAS a nazi salute after all?

Back in November I told Westminster's women and qualities that the UK government needed to get off X. The committee's chair @sarahowen.org.uk is completely right - X is not an appropriate channel for comms. Quite the opposite

can't stress this enough. Bluesky is both 1. surveilled and 2. unerasable. Do not fedpost on this platform. Keep it to yourself, or if you _must_, then go to an encrypted Signal chat.

Huh. Look at that. The Americans ARE seizing Russian linked oil tankers in the Atlantic. The scuttlebutt was right. PIRACY IS BACK BABY YARRR!

One of those posts you sort of go “Woah” As you read it and slowly get louder to “WOAH WOAH”

The landlord of Dartmoor is the Duchy Of Cornwall btw. Operator is MOJ with lease by MOJ.

(Starts clock on her saying something once is to racist AND tangibly untrue) (Simultaneously starts another clock marked ‘financial scandal’) It’s a race now for Cunningham but not the sort she thinks

I'm so delighted that I complied with the Online Safety Act, blocking an accessibility feature on my site from UK users to 'protect the children' while Elon Musk's site can just generate CSAM with total impunity.

Wikipedia template for every prominent right wing businessman

(Looks to audience) Are we sure about this?

BREAKING: UK and France sign formal declaration of intent to put boots on ground in Ukraine in event of peace deal with Russia. They would "operate on Ukrainian soil, securing Ukraine’s skies and seas and building an armed forces fit for the future".

OH CANADA! 😳

The FT taking a stronger line against X/Twitter than UK Gov seems somehow uniquely British

It is a stark fact that despite an attempted coup, attempted & actual assassinations & riots- A majority of American voters either chose the sofa or Trump. A more cynical person would say democracy either fundamentally failed a litmus test or now has to learn the worst of lessons

There we go. That there’s a headline.

Ready, set, paint! 🖌️ Enter our Painting Competition: Red Knight Miniature and show off your skills—glory (and epic bragging rights) await! 👑🎨 #MiniaturePainting #DND

That’s not a video game then? It’s just a video

Huh. Just had to say the words “America is considering invading Greenland” Out loud and sort of laughed at the ridiculous nature of it. Just thinking how Tom Clancy would have made this into an airport book

Asking people, again, to pay me for the work that was commissioned, written and published in November. It’s illegal to make us wait this long and I‘m too old to be begging like this. So if anyone dares to give writers shit for monetising their Substacks - it’s better than begging the broadsheets…

Over Christmas I repeatedly had conversations with people who were convinced the UK is doomed. Most of them had just bought new cars, been on 2 or more holidays & had good health.

Ship it

It’s wild to me that India is still viewed by many a a second world country yet it surpassed Japan in GDP terms in 2025. The world has changed dramatically in last 20 years & few peoples brains have wrapped round it. The next 20 years may belong to Africa & South America as long as it stabilises

Bit concerned the US might invade/kidnap me next

If you’re reading this, then you have also forgotten to cancel your free 3-day trial of 2026

No unhealthy food adverts before 9PM but child sex abuse images are available 24/7. Welcome to UK 2026

Now hear me out: I think this proposition has legs

birds do it bees do it even educated fleas do it let's do it let's fly into a window

The first two hours this morning

A Dutch worker went viral after explaining to their American boss that they have a life outside work.

Reading 1 linked article about the value of generative AI is the equivalent of smoking 20 cigarettes for your brain

Trump has fallen into a trap: Now every day a Venezuelan citizen will become president & swear to defy America & they too will be kidnapped & soon America will be flooded with Venezuelan citizens seeking a new life in the US

Nah. I’m not falling for Marjorie Taylor Greens new game of being reasonable & logical. And you shouldn’t either

Dogs eating spaghetti is far and away the best use of slo-mo phone cameras

Someone make Nigel Farage defend the X CSAM images on camera please. Make him really put his chest into it. Make him say the words “I’m a nonce approver for X & Elon Musk”

Ofcom, which enforces the UK's Online Safety Act, says it is aware of "serious concerns" about Grok undressing people including children on X “We have made urgent contact with X and xAI to understand what steps they have taken to comply with their legal duties to protect users in the UK," it says

I mean, has someone just tried calling the police & reporting X for distributing child sex abuse images? Because like, that’s a thing. You can just do it. Might call my Mate on the force now in fact

Prediction: Literally every product that is tech enabled will either exponentially increase in price or simply delay all of their product updates until 2027 at earliest now. Possibly behind. Apple already did this. Sony already did this.

So: an interesting Christmas story of sorts - Christmas saw big numbers for battlefield 6 sales. Not surprising as it’s a monster franchise & not a bad game at all. However: EA has done something which had passed me by until I ran slap bang into it:

5th January tomorrow. Don’t forget to keep the ‘Out of Office’ on, so the people you’re corresponding with think they’re smarter than you and become complacent.

Opening my January advent calendar. Instead of chocolate, it's an email from my job asking me to do things. Outlook. I'm opening Outlook.

Flatshare sitcom with Assad imminent.

My long running conspiracy is that all computers with MS have built in failures to end their lives. My windows PC has been orphaned from the internet for over 10 years now. It performs admirably still. As a type writer.

(Goes back on social media) (Sees world war 3 brewing) (Goes back to making dinner)

LA Confidential is on Film4 & it’s still a solid movie to this day

Mayor Mamdani has nullified every executive order issued by Eric Adams after he struck his corrupt bargain with Trump to secure dismissal of the indictment against him.

Tomorrow marks 10 years since the greatest piece of art of our generation

Went to Brighton today and it was exemplary bit of winter seaside

Suddenly very aware it’s New Year’s Eve tomorrow night and I’ve committed to being social for a very long time