my children laughed so hard when this showed up on the streaming menu one of them was sick

warhammer won April 1st www.warhammer-community.com/en-gb/articl...

I want to join a dads group where we just pick a place and then all drive there and then have a great time talking about how we got there then we go home

Just watched The Pitt, my favourite was the guy with the 150 PT on the IRT backline of 65 and bloods of 9.3 and an ROI upside of 200. Classic.

the existence of mini eggs, regular eggs and larger chocolate eggs implies the need for an egg bristol stool chart

I want to hire a removal van, but also to show everyone I’m a true patriot. Say no more, Sir. I have just the thing.

what did darth vader say about your george michael playlist? I find your lack of faith disturbing

gone to see a mobius stripper, she's been taking her jumper off for 40 minutes

replying to jokes with slightly worse jokes hbu

teen titans go is better than your boyfriend's favourite show

reading all your jokes about the clocks going forward, that's an hour of my life i will in fact get back

Probably the worst thing about the clocks going forward is having to rotate your entire henge 30°

the houthis are involved now and he's going to call them the hooters

in brooklyn both gangsters and small children learn about how material world objects are copies of perfect counterparts in an immaterial world by studying playdoh

This account is close to genius; I don't say it lightly. I'm amazed every time. You don't have to know about art OR sport.

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he was walking down some stairs behind the sofa

he's completely defeated satire, he cannot be satirized, he is simply unsatirizable, what is really happening is beyond the capacity of our brains to imagine an absurd version of it

it's not me

it guy: you shouldn’t have used a real word as a password kash patel: i know that now it guy: for instance, you could have replaced the ‘i’s- kash patel: [sobbing] do you think I haven’t tried?! it guy: kash patel: it guy: so anyway, do you want a balloon or not?

- vibe coding lets anyone write apps, just type in the box and it will magically appear! - can i see one - no

trying to read moby dick but so much of it is an 1850s version of a wikipedia page about whales

Zune!

wales don't really have any depth do they, first 11 is premier league / championship then the subs start coming on and it's phil chip shop and megan from the library

need the american govt to collapse so i can post it

"Add one small onion (finely chopped), then half an onion, then a quarter of an onion, then an eighth of an onion..."–Recipe for Mandelbroth

what did the catholic lady say to her husband when she didn't want to get pregnant

there was a young scouse played guitar who was a great songwriting star but sometimes he'd sit and come up with shit oh well ob-la-di ob-la-da

there was a young man from cork who got limericks and haikus confused

Surely I’m not the only one who thinks this whenever they see a map of The Strait Of Hormuz on the news?

it is vitally important that european space agencies come together as one and put a windmill on it first

medical science is pretty incredible for cancer chemotherapy but they've just given me steroids that make my dick hurt

First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.

you will never convince me this isn't Ben Whishaw's dad

saw you on telly with more makeup on than undertakers put on burns victims, what does it mean you have to escalate to deescalate? do i fuck paddington harder so he can find his lost marmalade sandwich? do i hold everyone in the sex shop hostage and then politely ask for the hellraiser pinhead dildos

Showing off my new shoe skills

lmao the eurovision mascot is so ugly I literally screamed at this reveal

since having radiotherapy and chemotherapy for a brain tumor I have lost 35lb making it statistically similar to GLP-1

xenomorphs in alien movies don't have eyes but all funko pop ones have eyes painted on

can i just have a moment of enjoyment for the frogmouth in all its forms, for every photo of a frogmouth is A Mood. exhibit 1: Sumatran frogmouth

can't believe they announce they're closing the Metaverse today, the day I've finally earned enough credits to buy legs

don’t type it don’t type it don’t type it if you are sexually attracted to patrick stewart are you moist by your own picard

saw the dune 3 trailer, it's sandy again

I have a LinkedIn joke. People love it. They say it’s the funniest joke they’ve ever heard. So, I must be a funny guy, right? Here’s the thing. I’m not funny. I just know one essential thing about connecting with people. Something most people forget. And it’s this: (read more)

if you're a journalist who needs new strait hormuz headlines may i offer you: - Freight Late as Strait Waits for Trump to Dump Hormuz Performance - The Hormuz Heresy - Iran Still Wedging Its Exit - Schwarzenegger wants "Oil Be Back"

i like inverted wingbacks and registas and mezzalas but you know what else i like, when they wallop it at the goal

which arsenal player has got the best stock market index? max dowman

iran are doing better propaganda than us www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo7e...