Tom’s wishlist for whatever Doctor Who comes next: 1️⃣ More episodes cheaper, not 4 episodes per series each full of CGI and costing £10 bajil. 2️⃣ Same Doctor in it for at least a series. 3️⃣ More episodic adventures, less series arc. 4️⃣ No fundamentally questioning the concept of the show Doctor Who.

Help Uncle John bring joy to all the good little film fans!

Can I play one of the arresting officers in the inevitable dramatisation by Sarah Phelps? I have experience 👇

shove yer ai up yer hole, this is where it's at.

Big new project this year: movie adaptation of A Christmas Carol. Scrooge is a hot young executive at a new tech start-up who has to ‘log in’ to the Metaverse to destroy a computer virus that wants to launch all the world’s nukes.

They do "it"

Challenging!

Controversial!

Sad!

Sordid!

Lovely.

Hope for us all!

Now THIS is some fan fiction I can get behind.

I sense an agenda here.

Beautiful.

Very valid theory.

🚨 IMPORTANT SURVEY 🚨 In your opinion, at the end of the Ballad of Barry and Freda, do they do it?

One note: please say sticky toffee pudding more.

I’m running this intro to sketch comedy writing workshop next week: www.medwayplaylab.com/workshops-/

I flatter myself that I’m a responsible person with inner strength and self-discipline, but I also know that if I were admitted into a fizzy sweets factory I would be dead within the hour.

You can hear me as The President of America, not that one, a different one, in this ten year anniversary special of Tales of THATTOWN, out now! Thanks for having me, Jesse, and congratulations!

lol someone made a great video out of my @scarredforlife.bsky.social rant about Ghostbusters youtu.be/_4HYn2IHbpU?...

This is a safe space! Post a #Superman

@eddierobson.bsky.social You were right, Number 27’s amazing.

There is only one answer.

Today I'm Waking Up With A Hoare, a man called Hoare, David Hoare with an H, the comedian. You can listen to his podcast or watch the thing on YouTube, what a world: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtQ2...

All the times Alan Grant farts in Jurassic Park.

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs

What a nice day. More coming very soon. Watch out, hissers! 🐍🐍🐍 @johnrain.co.uk @tpneenan.bsky.social

TikTok is where there’s a guy called DonkeyDave and you’ve never heard of him but nine hundred million children follow him and he specialises in making something called ‘autistic pasta’ and it’s so popular that it destroyed Italy’s actual economy and it’s only 7:45am and you haven’t made your coffee

Me under torture ⤵️ ME: Do whatever you like, I’ll never tell you the nuclear codes! Never! TORTURER: Drink this pint of the swamp water that collects at the bottom of the vegetable drawer. ME: Aaaaaah eight four nine seven

Me under torture ⤵️ ME: Do whatever you like, I’ll never tell you the nuclear codes! Never! TORTURER: Drink this pint of the swamp water that collects at the bottom of the vegetable drawer. ME: Aaaaaah eight four nine seven

Hey, creative people! Just a heads up that you will be told "Wait, be patient. Your time will come" right up until you're told "You've had your time. Best step aside." It will even weirdly overlap in the middle. Ignore both because they are both complete bullshit.

If you use AI you're a scab pass it on

“Grandma, it’s so wonderful to see you again! WHERE DID YOU HIDE UNCLE ROSTRUM’S GOLD?”

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

Can we abolish the monarchy yet?

Like a lot of people my age, one of the first truly brilliant comic performances I ever saw was Catherine O’Hara in Home Alone. One of the greatest.

90s kids knowz how it do be

What's this thing now where Jimmy Carr starts dropping F-bombs like a terrified open mic comic at their first gig whenever he speaks to Americans?

The Garak-Siskhoff illusion: the feeling that, several months after beginning to watch Star Trek: Deep Space 9 for the first time, all you seem to see everywhere is Deep Space 9 all of a sudden.

✊

Hi new followers! If you're not sure who I am, I'm Tom Crowley, I do acting and writing, mainly in comedy. The best thing I do is a sketch comedy podcast called Crowley Time. It's free! Last year I was very excited to have Paul F Tompkins as a guest star for Episode 40. Download it today!

I did a few voices for Things You Should Have Done like the Alexa, the 999 dispatcher and a couple of other bits. Listen out for me! I'm not in the credits but I promise it was me, I remember doing it.

Meet your local Reform candidate for Minehead!

Hi new followers! If you're not sure who I am, I'm Tom Crowley, I do acting and writing, mainly in comedy. The best thing I do is a sketch comedy podcast called Crowley Time. It's free! Last year I was very excited to have Paul F Tompkins as a guest star for Episode 40. Download it today!

Four fictional characters who would definitely defect to Reform.

Today, on telly’s 100th birthday, my state address is that the BBC is a miracle and the British people need to defend it. Buy a TV licence, advocate for public ownership and remember, always remember, that the BBC is much, much more than just a couple of BBC News correspondents you don’t like.

I think at this point the UK has accepted Paddington as the Death Bear, collector of souls. So, I think as a nation we should start smearing marmalade on the eyes of the dead and whisper “fare for the crossing”. It’ll feel weird now but, in three of four generations, no one will question it.