Leeds trams update

GEORGE LUCAS: great work on all of these stirring themes. I just need one more piece: a boisterous instrumental number for an alien bar. JOHN WILLIAMS: sure, I ca- GEORGE LUCAS: in this universe this style of music is called "jizz" JOHN WILLIAMS: uh su- GEORGE LUCAS: musicians are "jizz wailers"

Happy Birthday to the real one.

Bit of a last-minute one, but me and @bobfischer.bsky.social will be bringing the Scarred For Life Folk Horror show to Whitby's Hand of Glory Festival next Friday 1 May at 9pm - and it's free. You heard me: free! Mayday weekend in Goth Central? It's like folklore Christmas!

Out tomorrow! A new DWM special including my interview with Steven Moffat about Night Of The Doctor, in which we discuss the original draft!

they should invent a website that works

Chelsea's form has been dismal, no argument about that, but this is no way to run a football club. They've been crap at this ever since they sacked Tuchel and it's hard to see them becoming a functional club again under the current ownership.

It's #buyastrangerabook day! @humanaqvi.bsky.social is offering to buy someone the book of their choice, up to £20! So if there's a particular book you're after, get in touch. UK only.

Out tomorrow! A new DWM special including my interview with Steven Moffat about Night Of The Doctor, in which we discuss the original draft!

I own three Nancy Sinatra albums, all of which have Jackson on them.

Well, that's this year's 33 ⅓ pitch sent off.

I do think tech companies are underestimating the amount of - new account fatigue - new app fatigue - useless upgrade fatigue - terms of service fatigue

Goon Show 9.12: The Call of the West. Seagoon heads to America to seek his fortune. Another one I remember well from childhood. The rendition of the "Indians" is terrible, of course, though the whole colonial project is depicted as shameless exploitation. #GoonForARun www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b...

oh great now where am I supposed to get my world’s biggest condoms

At last! DUNGEON CRAWL AT THE HAUNTED MALL, my very own @chooseadventure.bsky.social book, is now available! Enter a spooky, abandoned 80s mall overtaken by a warlock from another dimension, if you dare! Perfect for fans of Stranger Things and Dungeons & Dragons! Get it from your favorite bookshop!

me hugging ed miliband

I was out at dinner on Thursday with my dad and stepmom and the lot was paid parking and there was a QR code. Debby and I were already seated and drinking our water by the time my dad stomped in after having to download an app and enter his payment info. for a parking lot he'll never use again!!!!

Seen people responding to this by saying he should have put the phone in the fridge or something. No, the problem is that the shock of going from hot to cold can be just as damaging as the heat. You have to leave it to cool gradually. The water didn't kill it, impatience did.

When you see all the people labelled rude, essentially shadowbanning them under the default settings, remember that literally *every single* rude label has been manually applied by a mod. All of them. It's not a filter grepping on cusses, it's someone physically clicking a button.

This is the thing, if "academia" wanted to stop this, we could easily tomorrow. Over 3 incorrect references? Rejected and forbidden to submit next year. The purpose of a system is what it does!

I despise with the heat of a thousand suns the way I have to be suspicious of all art I see now while I investigate it's authenticity, because this couldn't be more diametrically opposed to the state of mind one should be in while taking in all art.

good, productive feminism explains that gender isn't innate and the patriarchy can be deconstructed; essentially telling young women that all men are creeps and predators and will never change is actually just weirdly reactionary and purposeless

Late Night Drama At The Crucible™ #snooker

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

a lot of people joking that chelsea are going to sack rosenior now, or at the end of the season, but the true chelsea watchers know that they’re going to spend £500m on players that he asks for this summer and then sack him in october #thefootball

we all know I have no life, so:

For the first time in 114 YEARS, Chelsea have lost five straight league games without scoring 🤯

Niche question about ATV ad breaks. I’m rewatching Nigel Kneale’s Beasts and each episode has a single ad break in the middle as opposed to the two that was more usual back then. I think that ATV’s Edward the Seventh was the same. Was it a prestige thing? Are there other examples?

Just acted as witness to the marriage of two complete strangers at the courthouse because they met me outside and “had a good feeling about [me]”. All the best to David and Veronica in their life together

Imagine being this clear that you hate your employees and expecting it to go well.

Iran going after Bsky is a genuinely funny waste of resources.

I'm not sure my French is good enough to understand the full subtleties of Libé's review of the Michael Jackson biopic

there's been a tendency in some commentary on the World Cup to imply that all the pricing schemes are a specifically American thing, but it's very clear we're seeing identical processes play out in Mexico and Canada it's FIFA

If anyone in Edinburgh fancies an 8 string ukulele (I think it's a concert size) for 60 quid please ask. Local to save on postage. We could meet somewhere and swap cash for a ukulele. Like some kind of twee drug deal.

"Did you know that the politician was friends with a nonce when you appointed him?" is not a question that should ever be answered with "which one"

Today’s task: sign & number & bag 500 zines. Still a few available for preorders here: theartofcoop.bigcartel.com/product/devi...

That bloke who always books the seat to the immediate left of the players' seats at the snooker every year, and always wears plain sweatshirts with a polo underneath (in different colours), is there again.

Netanyahu ought to be in prison. As should every global leader who has enabled/colluded with him. These kinds of abuse should never be normalised

Oooh, beautiful cover.

Ah yes, the women genre (I won't name and shame because he threw in a Bernard Hermann album for a quid).

I discovered a major difference of opinion between me and my sister recently, in that she absolutely hates Abigail Davies off of the darts and snooker, and I am a huge fan of Abigail Davies off of the darts and snooker.

This tweet is highly defamatory and Martina Navratilova should be fired from BBC Sport for it. It demonstrates an horrendous level of hatred for a trans woman (who was cleared of all wrongdoing in a recent tribunal) because she is a trans woman.

Can't think of anything funny to say about this. Mahmood's repeated weaponisation of racism to defend her racist policies might be the most immoral thing a minister has done since Osborne's Philpott comments

Hi I wrote about the making of classic platformerChuckie Egg and talked to its creator Nigel Alderton. Please give it a read as I want to show there’s an audience for this gaming history stuff 🙏 www.theguardian.com/games/2026/a...

This madness has no place in the NHS. The UK government should enact its break clause and get us out of contracts with Palantir.

When you've revised golf but the exam question is about football

The Devil is in the details buttondown.com/cooray_smith... @ psychic paper.

Today's Duolingo Japanese lesson told me to say a bunch of English words in Japanese. One of them was "karaoke", so I said "karaoke", and it told me no, it's actually "karaoke", and invited me to try again. Fortunately after three fails it moved on, or I would still be screaming "KARAOKE" at it now.