Unless Reeves rules this out pretty damn quick, I suspect we're about to see a surge in rent rises to forestall the possibility of a freeze

One of my local Green council candidates is a hypnotherapist, gotta admire the commitment to the brand

"Very" usually works as an intensifier, adding extra force to the adjective it precedes. But sometimes it can have the opposite effect, implying "not completely".

New conspiracy theory: It was staged, but only because Donald had messed up making the soufflé and needed an excuse to put the dinner off

Oh I am serious. And I think "Of course I'm too sophisticated to actually believe the dumb thing, but here's how I can kinda rhetorically position myself as on its side anyway" is a bad instinct that ultimately drives one's own political coalition off a cliff as is driven by its stupidest members.

MPs *should* be allowed to be drunk in parliament, but only as a result of drinking games based on the use of clichés in debates

Bit puzzled about the objectives of this online ad campaign

In your face, Nixon

Imagine breaking the 2-hour marathon barrier and nobody caring because some other guy just did it 11 seconds earlier

Oh come on, if it had been staged, the guy would have been armed with a water pistol and gone to the wrong venue and spent 2 hours standing outside ranting about how this was going to be the greatest assassination ever and then knocked himself out by hitting his head on the doorframe as he went in

There was an old lady who swallowed an app What a sap to swallow an app She swallowed the app to catch the app She swallowed the app to catch the app She swallowed the app to catch the app That wrote her a whole lot of awkward claptrap I don't know why she swallowed an app Perhaps she's crap

Five coot nests, and one moorhen nest, in 200 metres of river #NewRiverBirds

ME: *finishing the last of the milk* Ah well, that looks like a problem for future me FUTURE ME: *ironing my shirts* I wish I'd never invented that time machine ME: Oh and don't forget you need to clean the bathroom

Saw this meme and I did it. Opening line to Neuromancer.

Bit late to it, but Babies is pretty good. (The BBC drama series, not the Pulp song, although that's also pretty good, but in a different way, and I'm not quite that far behind the curve)

this account is run by a human at NASA JPL who only posts real images with their receipts. it only has 11k followers compared to the 200k the ai slop space account has

One of my favourite genres of headline is "Kemi Badenoch unknowingly criticising herself"

The Falkland Islands, named after their discoverer, Peter Falk,[citation needed]

Good job it's not full, or this would have been a very nasty crash

RFK and Trump's utter failure to understand percentages is probably the most relatable thing they've ever done

A 400-strong parliamentary party that can't muster at least a couple of decent potential PMs from within its ranks is really in terrible trouble www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Autumn 2027. Keir Starmer angrily orders an inquiry into why he wasn't told about correct procedure for hiring the adviser who managed the process for reassigning the civil servant who advised him on how Olly Robbins handled Mandelson. Andy Burnham has just lost his third byelection of the year.

Takes a heart of stone not to laugh.

Olly Robbins: Hold my beer

Two things can be true. Unfortunately, "two things can be true" is one of them, so that only leaves one true thing left, and everything else is false. Choose carefully

Pride & Prejudice, but instead of society dances, the single young men and women are sat along opposite sides of a ballroom in a country home, accompanied by chaperones, messaging each other on Tinder

Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.

ME: OK I've filled my flat with earth, can I join now PRESIDENT OF THE FLAT-EARTHER SOCIETY: That's not actually what— ME: Oh hang on I've just realised I forgot to do inside the wardrobe, I'll call you back

"We used to think that you could govern the country effectively and keep winning elections by telling people what they wanted to hear. I tell you in all candour that that option is still absolutely correct and we're right to keep doing it."

Polanski seems to me pretty similar to Badenoch, in that his worldview largely consists of a set of social media talking points that he wields with self-congratulatory certainty and sees anyone who disagrees as morally deficient

He never even visited the Arndale Centre

St George never: - laughed at Del Boy falling through the bar - stood in a queue at the chippy - co-hosted a podcast with the dragon - bluffed his way through a conversation about a classic novel whose TV adaptation he saw most of - grumbled about potholes - published a thinkpiece about Englishness

Well, my "giant trebuchet plus series of trampolines" air travel plan doesn't seem so stupid now, does it? Wait, I'm just hearing that... yes... OK... right, so apparently the plan does still seem extraordinarily stupid. Nevertheless

Lose the M and ruin a book: A Roo of One's Own

I always prefer off-the-peg clothing. Maybe it's just me, but I find clothes are so much less comfortable to wear when they're still on the peg.

I know how Lyse Doucet must feel, because none of my material is used on the BBC Persian service either

Assuming that what Olly Robbins has said is true, then pretty much all the politics of the last few days has been based on misinterpreting (including in No10) "UKSV leaned towards recommending denying clearance but accepted that the risks could be managed" as "UKSV recommended denying clearance"

Feels like she's decided she wants to make the transition from cabinet minister to Mail/Telegraph columnist sooner rather than later

It may seem funny now, but in about 3 weeks' time the disruption to the global supply chain of knowing-yet-sanctimonious middle-class left-of-centre takes will start forcing prices up, and governments may even have to introduce rationing

An optician friend of mine has several corny jokes that he likes to tell about pupils and irises, but my jokes are mostly cornea.

Still absolutely boggles my mind that Mandelson (or anyone else) imagined for a second that he could be both US ambassador and Oxford chancellor. Quite apart from issues of scheduling and location, the conflicts of interest are just obvious.

"Avoid idioms and metaphors" is entirely standard plain English advice. It's about clarity, not offence.

Well OK, if you insist

"King Cnut can't win here!"

*reading steakhouse menu* But ribs don't have eyes *slowly moving menu down to chest level* Or do they

The thing is, the suggestion that Olly Robbins completely screwed this up, which he did, does not preclude the possibility that Keir Starmer also completely screwed this up, which he did.

The audible turning of the pages in his briefing file is not doing "Mr Angry" Starmer any favours

Straight from the "I am going nowhere" school of speechwriting