You'll never believe these chips I just found in the pantry

Damn shame y'all missed lewdsgiving

Tell your in-laws you are thankful for this man

Some movies I fell in love with over the years: The Darjeeling Limited Fifth Element Seven Samurai Into the spiderverse The Majestic* Lawrence of Arabia This Island Earth (iykyk) Alien LOTR Twin Towers Spinal Tap Dr. Strangelove or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb The village

I'm going to start searching for any posts that mention the Fifth Element and I swear to God if they aren't fucking GLAZING the film I will lose my shit publicly in their mentions

so what does everyone’s families think about Charlie Kirk this Thanksgiving

Why does he sleep like this?

(complimentary)

Me? I'm immune to poster's madness. It's because I was a gifted child, theater kid, and starved for attention so ... OHHHH NOOOO

As a sentient tube of meat, I find solidarity with the gas station roller dogs

Telling my nephew Elf on the Shelf isn't returning this year because elections have consequences

I am thankful for the two hot babes who thirsted after me this year

Calling my pussy “the turkey” so someone stuffs it this week

Tired of always having turkey as a main course this thanksgiving? Try spicing things up...

The most CRITICAL fact one needs to know about the local politics in my region is that THE GULLS RUN THIS PORT CITY and OWN at least 6 of the LOCAL MCDONALD's FRANCHISES because they LOVE the famous chain's FRIES and MILKSHAKEs. Also, they are OF COURSE EXTREMELY CORRUPT as one might presume.

Why does he sleep like this?

As a sentient tube of meat, I find solidarity with the gas station roller dogs

I'm only accepting wholesome posts today. Computer, do not show me any posts about Assholes or Jerks

Without using AI, somebody needs to make a big naturals turkey dinner picture for us all to send each other around here

The meatball

hope all my american followers enjoy getting to do hand stuff with their cousins

I was the supervising producer of a very classy and tasteful show on TLC called “sex sent me to the ER,” and I now realize that sadly we never had a Thanksgiving Day segment.

imagine boofing prog for months with no results and then one day you go to the doctor and they extract a tapeworm with huge tits

Boofing a whole roasted turkey to regain HP

The butterball hotline ™️ recommends adding one finely chopped credit card to your brine in order to get the correct amount of micro plastics into your turkey

Just a reminder during the holiday season

You can fit more pie in if you orient the taper of the wedge properly

There are two methods for cranberry harvest- wet method and dry method. Pictured is the ‘wet harvest’ method where the cranberry bog is flooded and the plants are shaken to dislodge the submerged berries, which float. (Fun fact: in a flooded bog the workers become high ground for the spiders.)

My Uncle used to say the problem with Lil (my cousin) was that she had a five inch arsehole and the house only had four inch pipes

why is grimace looking like he’s about to have his jfk moment here?

More @ https://masto.ai/@HourlyPornhubbedHeathcliff

Tell your in-laws you are thankful for this man

Think about the first plumber who had to figure out, possibly through trial and error, what pipe diameter is optimal for human shit

Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...

this post was *supposed* to say "cooking thanksgiving dinner" but i messed it up anyway, happy thanksgiving and i hope you enjoy my 3d animation 💜

This thanksgiving may your mentions be filled with silly little japes and such

imagine you and all your buddies die in a storm and everyone is like wow The Perfect Storm

This is officially reregistered as a thanksgiving skeet

POV: you let him cook

Thanksgiving 2025

Good morning to the holiday about food discourse!! #Thanksgiving

Damn shame y'all missed lewdsgiving

People were not ready for me to bring sexy back

Walked around a bit and found my absolute favorite statue. The bean has NOTHING on the Loon! 🪶

The future liberals want

Omg the turkey skeet is still popping off

There are two kinds of posters on Bluesky The ones who make jokes to escape from the hellscape of our current reality ...and the ones who try to tie every silly joke back directly back to the hellscape of our current reality.

People are calling this the most transparent account on this website

teaser for the turning point usa alt superbowl halftime just dropped 👀