MrBeast opening a theme park in Saudi Arabia is so fucking funny

USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL AHHHHHHH :)

i maintain that this is one of the best line reads in history www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8DG...

I'm very glad Fallout will be back soon. I need that type of show in my life rn

SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE

Staying calm and normal

i just bought 300 dollars worth of prints of my own photography...somehow satisfying, selfish, and shameful, so pretty much like jerking off

oh fuck

huge birthday boy energy

sending humbert humbert a 100% supportive email so badly written he turns himself in

regis philbin ate human flesh

Absolutely beside myself over how unhappy this guy looks in his lil hat

If anyone needs to reach me just email [email protected]

“[email protected]” is absolutely crazy

All his emails read like general anesthesia is starting to kick in

How tf am I supposed to work with all this shit going on

Probably should not find this as charming as I do. Every time I get this notification I’m like aww, what a smart lil person

It is an absolute moral failing that the American public elected this man. How is this man still in the White House?

The guy in the closet in The Chair Company is basically one of the outcomes that I’ve imagined for myself

these motherfuckers are going to get us all killed

OK computer give me Whiplash but ping pong twink and crazier en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marty_S...

God almighty! Damn!

Kendrick, Joyce Carol Oates, Menswear Guy, and Isaac Chotiner are the Voltron of People You Don't Want Focusing on You

I would like to take this opportunity to get on the record and apologize: I had complained about how every single thing at the grocery store now costs five dollars more than it used to, but I had not seen the latest data from DoorDash's State of Local Commerce report, which disproves that.

You signed a deal so a company can use your voice for AI generated performances…. to do what now

he's running

Black Friday came early! Black Friday can't stop coming! Black Friday wants you to know that actually it's hot that it keeps coming earlier and earlier! Black Friday is just super sensitive! Black Friday is coming now! UHnfnfnff

Snow???

My recollection of Goldmember is that he had the Midas touch, but he touched it too much. But I confess to you now that my memories of him may be clouded by the cataract of time, or that Goldmember is very different from the person I knew back then, made unrecognizable by tectonic forces of change

no wonder nate silver hates in here

james bond should return as jame gumb and we should learn how he got so interested in women's fashion

the most important ingredient in a james bond movie gumbo are the meaty chunks of believability. without that, you got no dinner!

June stop gnawing on my arm 1 hour before breakfast challenge

kids these days are clamoring for more bugonia, never been there myself but...i guess it beats RATOPIA...aka boston

Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today — theonion.com/hungover-egy...

Do you want to know how many times a week I ask myself "Jesus, am I the only one left? IS THERE NO OTHER HUMAN ON THE PLANET BUT I??" because it's a lot

I keep seeing news items about how the "Sydney Sweeney looks like a normal person and has problems" movie had a disappointing box office draw. But has this shit even come out yet? Are we all collectively imagining it? More importantly, does life have any meaning whatsoever?

Legit pleased as punch that this ghoul surfaced 10 years later to try and fuck up the lives of millions of people and her ass was sent packing

My recollection of Goldmember is that he had the Midas touch, but he touched it too much. But I confess to you now that my memories of him may be clouded by the cataract of time, or that Goldmember is very different from the person I knew back then, made unrecognizable by tectonic forces of change

When was the last time you grappled with something? Someone?

Logging off

"hey hon, at the beam. im the one in the mask, lol"

Kyle Kingsbury is not a journalist. He is not an op-ed writer. He is a computer safety researcher. And he has written one of the most compelling, comprehensive accounts of the ongoing hell in Chicago that you could possibly imagine. In under 1600 words. aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...

surprise grinch reuinion

"You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a 'feeling.'" "It's not like envy, or even hungry." "Could it be love?" "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard."

dont make me tap sign