I read these on the Wegmans app all the time lmao

LRT, one key west vacation I saw graffiti that asked “where is Bum Farto?” & I was like “idk man but that name rocks” & then I had to learn who Bum Farto was

white people love to be named "bum farto"

baseball shouldn't start at 10pm, get a real time zone

Hi, it's me, your

WHY IS THERE ANOTHER TOY STORY WITH AN EVIL TABLET I AM SO TIRED

NBA legends SOUND OFF on why they HATED facing beaker

alright, whom has the good bathing suits, where does one procure such an item

I learned today that Dick Van Dyke’s grandson wrote and directed a movie called Titanic II that is so bad Wikipedia needed to make a note dunking on it before the article even starts

coffee: the bean juice

Local wizard Howl has come out in opposition of a new zoning bill which would require him to file under a permanent address. paletteswap.site/dif...

GOP Fyre Fest strikes again

Mr. T is in Philadelphia.

Hacks is over and I’m going to miss it so much

This is 1/3rd of a burrito leftover from Jameses lunch, in awe of the size of this lad. Yes I am eating a burrito on the couch at 10pm, I make very good decisions

I’ve been playing Hades II again and this song still whips. Also Scylla will not be playing that weird racist state fair concert even though she was listed in the lineup

Did they just invent an entire lineup? This is hilarious

LRT: really cannot overstate how great the Monterey bay aquarium YouTube channel is, I have it on in the background allllll the time

why don't you watch the Monterey Bay Aquarium live jellyfish cam and maybe you'll calm down

a low dewp evening with a cool breeze & no one on my block is running loud lawn equipment, thank you high school jesus

i work at a nature conservancy (cool) & one of the hardest things about it is when i'm sitting at my desk looking out the window & watching everyone drive around the property on their sweet little carts, i want to drive a cart, please can i drive a cart, i will do a good job

my workplace puts a lot of trust in me bec i walk by the rack of golf cart keys every day when i go to the breakroom to get my lunch, i could be driving a cart RIGHT NOW, but i won't because i'd probably get in trouble

one of those "if you won the powerball" prompts is going around & alls i know is i'd buy myself a golf cart & i'd get James the Tapper arcade machine (i've looked into both & the damn Tapper machine was like 3 large in 2017, probably like 4k now)

i am always purchasing ridiculous things, such as a sweatshirt with a cartoon surfing hot dog on it, but if i had to spend a LOT of money on something ridiculous i would probably buy the arcade version of Tapper for James & one of those baseball helmet golf carts for me

Legendary wiki entry under Personal Life. RIP.

Blanked when I got to the deli counter and came up with “It’s a beautiful day for a sandwich” to have something to say

Love this @classypatrick.bsky.social interview with Deli Boys stars Asif Ali and Saagar Shaikh, especially one part www.phillymag.com/news/2026/05...

has it come to this?

and it was a Serpes donut, i figured they wouldn't hurt me

i had legit one bite of a glazed donut and it's giving me heartburn, what the hell man

was instantly reminded of Digital Blasphemy, aka the premier website for desktop wallpapers when i was in college www.reddit.com/r/y2kaesthet...

i forgot my phone at home today & because our IT team thinks we need authenticator to get into everything i can't do anything without it, but my dad offered to go get it, yay

my boss called me "dude" on teams lol

The burger you had when you were eight and it was some kind of reward and both your parents were there, alive, happy, in love, proud of you, and you were unaware that days like that would end. You will spend every minute in a fast food line chasing that feeling and never taste it again.

not sorry to brag but this is the quad burger Travis zildjian.com/blogs/artist...

This mf said movie vehicle. Anyway! Think about the best fast food you ever ate, I bet you were in a moving vehicle

Chick fil a waffle fries, almost too hot to even pick up, best eaten on your lunch break while crying in your car as you drive back to your awful job

Peanuts Melee Tiers:

now it's my turn (i just finished working out)

Woodside ice cream ain’t nothin special, the best creamery around is UDairy

oh they came for Loryn?! fuck off AI clankers

types of mutual on social media: * your buddy you riff with all the time * someone you used to riff with but are pretty sure has you muted at this point * person you admire who followed you back somehow and gives you a jumpscare every time they like a post * we interacted one time years ago

look. is everything more expensive now? yes. but you have to look on the bright side too. now every time you open a computer, it doesn't work

that same ol tune

i am so tired of there being a $100 cover charge just for me to leave my fucking house

Ya girl is back at the dentist