I downloaded Date Everything, a game which allows you to fall in love without leaving your house by simply entering in the correct series of choices from a dialog tree, and feels micro-targeted towards me.

My poor baby!

Good news is, I was able 80% effectively repair the couch. Bad news is, while I was stretching out one of the zigzag springs to go in there, it slipped out of my hand and whipped me in the face. Luckily all I got was a pretty nasty little scratch instead of busting my glasses or ripping out my eye.

Melania is an hour an forty four minutes? Come on, bro. That's a bit much. I was shooting for the low 80's.

I've lost all my "driving a car all day" muscles. My back is killing me!

What can I say, I'm feeling loquacious.

There's a guy on the most recent season of Great British Sewing Bee that looks exactly like the classic dadaist comic book character Herbie.

You know I had to do it to 'em.

It's so frustrating that HBO Max has probably one of the best selections available for Reality Competition Shows and yet it's algorithm is completely incapable of recognizing that this makes up 90% of what I watch on there, and then recommend that to me. It's a constant hunt.

Finished off my last route inspection, it's a beautiful sunny day, and I bummed a cigarette off a coworker. TGIF, baby.

Tickets are on sale now for Guys live in Toronto. Come and see us on 6/5! www.theguysery.com

Blibdoolpoolp???

New episode arrives this weekend where we see the aftermath of the D&D Rising test and follow Dr. Paleus through a realm of hell.

Just two days left to rock the vote!

Hey. Tomorrow is Friday. That's not too bad.

Fifteen minutes to Oval!

But the people who like, subscribe, and tell their friends to listen to their favorite podcast? They're the real heroes. 🫡

I can't wait to meet Stewie's hot wife, idiot son, non-descript daughter, and talking animal companion.

Coming this Sunday, it's Episode 97: Weird Science featuring @sshankya.bsky.social!

TONIGHT: The Oval returns to the discord and the discord returns to The Oval! Will Richard's first day back at work go smooth? Will Priscilla poison the first lady as revenge for sucking her husband's dick? Will Jason kill again? And just who is Picky's father, anyway? DON'T MISS IT!

Has Elon floated any Straight of Hormuz work arounds? I'd love to see what the real world Tony Stark has to say on the matter.

A lot of people are dunking on this for creating a sort of Mad Max scenario, but it should also be mentioned that an oil tanker carries about 7,000 times the volume of a tanker truck. You would need a fleet of 7,000 trucks to get this all in one go.

I think, ironically, doing short form improv in high school did at least steer me away from doing longform improv in college and my twenties. Probably for the best for everyone. Seeing me friend's 101 graduation shows also served as a deterent. Those things were rough, boy. Not ready for primetime.

Doing a little research on James Woods. Turns out, that guy is kind of a piece of shit!

I think the definitive proof that I'm smarter than any of these guys is that none of them thought to just go to florsheim dot com and order the same model of shoe in a size that fits.

More questions still coming in! I spent five minutes figuring this out! Can you not spend five minutes figuring this out instead of having me spend twenty minutes explaining it to you? This is literally your job!

The pit in THE PIT (1981) is not a metaphor, and neither is the sentient teddy bear

One of these days I'm going to learn not to answer any tech questions on a mass email, no matter how simple. Now I've spent the last two days walking boomers through Teams over the phone and having them email me screenshots. How did you get a computer job if you don't know how to use a computer?

Time to instantly fall asleep.

Is it time for bed yet?

Everday I get another AI generated cartoon about workplace safety in my work email and every day the tail of the speech bubble is pointed to the wrong character and it feels like this is being done to demoralize me, personally, and no one else.

FUN FACT: Lew Lehman (left) served as the Directors Guild of Canada National President from 1981 to 1983, despite the fact that he had only two screen directing credits: South of Hell Mountain (1971) and The Pit (1981).

I woke up at quarter to three from a dream where the Joker shot me in the fave with a spray gun foll with acid. Gonna be a weird day.

This demeans us both

Damn...is there a Monsieur Web?

I wrote this essay in the hopes that it would help me stop thinking about Bridget Fonda. It did not.

We went church in an adjacent affluent town where all the kids in Sunday School knew eachother and treated me like shit. Nobody seemed to particularly give a shit, which seemed pretty indicative of how seriously I should take the whole thing.

I wrote this essay in the hopes that it would help me stop thinking about Bridget Fonda. It did not.

Well, back to leaving for work before sun up, I guess.

God. What horrors await us this week.

I love it when the movie is 10 levels of baffling

What fucking time is it, jesus? I feel like I'm on the moon.

This episode is out now AND it's great AND this movie is wild AND this is the best trailer I think I've made so far.

On this International Women's Day, why not read about one of cinema's most insanely beautiful women?

We're recording our 100th episode on Monday and we want to hear from YOU!! Send in your thoughts, questions, comments, or congratulations and be on the record for this momentous occasion!

🚨 NEW EPISODE ALERT! 🚨 This week we're joined by the one and only Angela Carlucci to talk about a little slice of Canadian horror that is absolutely off the rails bananas. You don't want to miss it!

Look, if you're not capable of talking to your kids about gay stuff, I don't think you're capable of having kids. That, to me, seems like one of the easier parts.

Polls are now open! If you don't vote, you can't complain!

A brave little cat appears!