they should eat the troops when the armed forces bowl is over

shhhhh, jesus dude he might be watching

everyone's parents: You will get more conservative as you age me at 46: legalize all drugs, abolish prison for all nonviolent offenses, and force the politicians with the lowest approval rating to participate in The Running Man once a month

Ask your doctor if the all-natural stimulant Knifeman by the Bronx is right for you youtu.be/Qf_ZgPmT2WI

Is there a word for only wanting shotguns when playing an fps? If my character can’t have one, I lose interest Not sure why I’m like that

Yearly reminder that you CAN just become a different person, you're not as imprisoned in your life as you think. You can just be the one who dresses nice or exercises or reads a lot, or whatever. You can just start doing it, some people might make fun of you but they don't really care.

They couldn’t afford all four ninja turtles? Did they doge Donatello and the others? Why only Michelangelo

Yes… ha ha ha… YES!

ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 ᶠᵘᶜᵏ 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 ᶠᵘᶜᵏ 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨 ｆｕｃｋ 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 Fᴜᴄᴋ 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 ᶠᵘᶜᵏ 🄵🅄🄲🄺 ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ f u c k ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

golden age of tyrants

May ‘26 be the year of the guillotine

Velvet Revolver

speak your truth, king 👑 (cc: @punishedholden.bsky.social)

i think what gets overlooked is that part of the humor and charm of edits like these is that you're perfectly aware that someone sat down and spent their own time making it. they chose to do something cool or silly or stupid or genius, regardless of the results that human element elevates the work

Ruin two bands by combining them The White Zombie Stripes

Doctor: Unfortunately the implement slipped while placing your valve, leaving behind a small groove. Me: A small groove where

bought a huge bag of this today and am now happily boofed www.leafly.com/strains/boof...

Road trip to MI

“I didn’t know what a giant transubstantiated Pop-Tart would taste like” is an all timer of a quote

I grew up on these streets

Want to feel ancient? Their oldest kid is 15 now.

please stop making me pack bond with pastries and then murder them if clearly they can choose to live

On this feed we celebrate our thicc neurodivergent queens

The Knocks are Saturday morning vibe

Normiecore this is our moment

…that’s a coffin.

found your mom

these kalshi ads, christ

Tv commercials in the 80s led me to over estimate the number of products that would one day include a pop-o-matic bubble

and tiny tim, who did not die, for he achieved the singularity, technological immortality

I accept that some of you can’t take the heat from takes like this

Hell yes baby jesus let’s do this

Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House https://theonion.com/santa-tracker-shows-sleigh-stopped-for-40-minutes-outside-old-girlfriends-house/

The reason for the season: brown and serve rolls

Happy holidays to everyone who's in solitude today. You get to decide what this post-solstice 24 hours is like! You could mourn or reflect, give gratitude or binge-watch, join your chosen family or cozy up with your animals. You may not be surrounded by people, but a lot of us are in the same place.

This must be the first time I can remember thunder on Christmas in Ohio

a self-indulgent ass thread of the music i listened to as a total fucking derelict of a teenager in the 90's youtu.be/1W-OG88jPLA?...

Quote with your favorite pic of you from 2025

www.theregister.com/2025/12/21/n... WHAT EVEN *IS* TIME?!!??!1/1/?

There’s some chaotic poetry in that the fault line of the right wing civil war is divisional strife over which groups to hate/scapegoat more

if you don’t like fat bitches you don’t even like women oh a woman has put on fat in a feminine way and ur not attracted to her anymore? go fuck a twink, leave the women to the real fans buddy

the biggest bunch of bullshit ever is “Do not reroll scraps.” oh no six of my cookies are 9% worse than the rest. SHUT UP!

whole lotta heavy-handed metaphorin' happening today

I don’t smoke anymore but the random conversations with a small gaggle of smokers out back of a bar were some of the best ever

Tonight Columbus Ohio

chicken FPS (first person squawker)

Been gradually revising my priors on new wave and glad I did because devo is all bangers, somebody shoulda told me youtu.be/riuzi5yHUeA