Going to quit my job and spend my days annoying monkeys with my singing

Great passage from Wodehouse.

Joe: I am a 73 year-old retired mechanic in Forsberg, Nebraska. My 3 biggest problems are Iran's uranium enrichment capability, the casting of Helen in Christopher Nolan's "Odyssey," and the ability of Tennesseeans to check out "Roots" from a library 1000 media outlets: can we please talk at length

Got a notification from a medieval copyright lawyer

Of all terms in the english language that sound dirtier than they are, probably nothing beats "mother lode"

I did not know who this guy was, but his path to right wing stardom was to call random Black people the N word of chimps, and then shoot them if they responded physically, while livestreaming all of it.

As Rs blow up majority-black seats, and Ds cut up their own to compete, you're simply going to have fewer coherent communities with their own districts. For example, Rs are cutting the Mississippi Delta and the city of Jackson in half order to throw them into Republican seats.

Iran prepped for the war they're actually fighting. the U.S. opened hostilities expecting a mirror of what happened in Venezuela and have no idea what to do now.

Hot Take: Clavicular (as influencer) doesn't exist. He is far more popular with people who hate him than people who like him. He's a perfect package of trainwreck, ideologically repulsive, fascinating, threatening, and confusing. He's a hypersalience smoothie but his actual audience is tiny.

Wait so there are NBA playoff games that don't START until 11 pm EST?

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

BREAKING: SCOTUS acts immediately on Alabama redistricting, vacating earlier decisions blocking the 2023 map and sending cases back to the district court — over the objection of Sotomayor, joined by Kagan and Jackson. www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25p...

Social Media in 2035

hello darkness, my old frenemy

I guess I don’t understand why brigading and trolling becomes a “minor problem” when it happens to me. I can tell you, it’s quite unpleasant! The nonstop search for material to attack you with does, indeed, feel very much like a Gamergate dynamic.

JORDAN PETERSON (sobbing): ...a-a-and good times, make w-we-weak men GOD: so heaven, should be bad JORDAN PETERSON (suddenly composed): for some

I've been thinking about how my character trait of going "well that person seems very incorrect but also volatile! I'm just going to avoid them and hope they don't notice me" is kind of bad in many real life situations, but pretty good for getting by online

While you were going on dates and playing sports, I was watching direct-to-VHS action movies with hand-drawn covers depicting heroes with anatomically incorrect guns

A conspiracy theory that I believe is that when an athlete gets an off-the-field injury and says it was from "playing with their kids" or "tripping over their dog" or "doing yardwork" they are covering for some real stupid shit they shouldn't have been doing

I made some money house cleaning today (I’m so sore) but I’m about $400 away!

They announce wars are over the same way a store announces “your package has been shipped” when they only printed a label they won’t touch for two weeks

Every journalist on earth is just a foot soldier in a weird psychosexual argument between six rich people at an orgy.

The greatest dread you can feel as an adult is when you've been ignoring a problem or situation for a long time with the unspoken assumption It's Probably Fine, then all at once you are forced to look at it closely and you are gobsmacked by the True State of It.

It’s crucial to understand that every other person you pass on the street believes in something that is wildly unscientific

Check out the new trailer for Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey.' In theaters July 17th. [📽 Via Universal Pictures] #TheOdyssey

And it's *Just* social consensus, huh? So one person said "X hurt me", and then there is absolutely no actual fact finding, or "hurt" because something completely subjective and internal, and then social media makes it high frequency trading for abuse fantasies.

Guys, ANGEL DOWN won the Pulitzer Prize. Let’s get nuts.

whoah! @danielkraus.com just won the Pulitzer!

BREAKING: Scanner says at least 15 gunshot victims in Edmond, Oklahoma campground shooting.

No, they’re not angry at the right - they are very much of a kind with the right. Far-right politics are largely centered around the creation of groups that it is permissible to abuse and harm. These people can’t or won’t join the right so they’ve built a facsimile of the same thing on the left.

They don’t have values. They have a deep-seated desire to hurt someone and are searching for a morally permissible reason to do so. They WANT their targets to be bigots, because they think that makes it moral to be cruel. They will INVENT offenses you committed so they have an excuse to hurt you.

I’m really bored of this in-group signalling where you have to add a caveat about how we all agree Goody Proctor is an evil whore before we can suggest that burning her at the stake might not be a good idea

I grew up in Franklin, and if David French is just realizing this, then he is the least observant person ever born

WHAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAA

🚨Emergency Update 🚨 @theonion.com

Do kids still worry about getting caught ridin' dirty? I can't remember the last time it's come up

richard dawkins has always had AI psychosis, it just took till now for the tech to catch up

Some people say we don’t build beautiful things anymore and, like, lol. Motherfuckers, we built this:

IMHO, Turley is right, but for the wrong reason. He says that wishing a POTUS dead is protected speech under Watts v U.S. Yes, but Turley assumes 86 is known to mean murder or harm. I don't think we have to get to the Watts argument. I think it fails first on what a reasonable person thinks 86 means

I have spent my entire career listening to FedSoc types complain about liberal “activist judges” who “legislate from the bench,” and none of them are going to say a single blessed thing about Sam Alito rewriting the Voting Rights Act to say what he thinks Congress ought to have said

BREAKING: Supreme Court rules 6-3 that Louisiana's map is an unconstitutional gerrymander. Majority by Alito rules that Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act, "properly construed," can provide a compelling reason for race-based redistricting, but that did not happen here.

My quick read of Callais decision is that the majority says if a racial community votes consistently with a party, then it is okay to deny them representation because that's just partisan gerrymandering

Reuters: U.S. SUPREME COURT RULES AGAINST BLACK LOUISIANA VOTERS WHO DEFENDED VOTING MAP THAT ADDED SECOND MAJORITY-BLACK DISTRICT

Might just be missing it but I think Michael Jackson is the first predator where people are not turning up to the discourse in droves saying "I always thought his music sucked anyway"

How bored were people in the 1960s that they would willingly pay money to see something called "Simon & Garfunkel"

Some of the best education you get as a young person is following a sports team full of scrappy, inspirational underdogs who play the game the right way until they get utterly obliterated in the playoffs by a team that is simply bigger, stronger and faster

I hate the fake Einstein quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result" because it isn't even true, but also because the real definition of insanity is believing, "If they're mad at you, that means you must be doing something right!!"

So all we know about the alleged Correspondent's Dinner gunman is: -normal liberal social media diet, no long history endorsing illegal direct action -he seemed to support more restrictive gun laws and viewed widespread gun ownership as bad -he had started shooting regularly at some prior point