I'm honor of Rifftrax re-riffing a stone cold classic, I ask: what's the best MST3K short? I can't decide between Cheating, What to Do on a Date, and Why Study Industrial Arts. What's your pick?

I would put A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY at the top.

and this isn't just some random evil racist congressman. he's the majority whip, the third most powerful member of the house! this *is* the party.

I assimilated all the way to Congress and this idiot still tells me to go back where I came from.

Mask off, hood on

One child born in this world to carry on could not be reached for comment. Rest In Peace, David Clayton-Thomas.

Don’t dismiss James Carville. He speaks directly to the times we’re living in. I will be thinking about that this weekend when I attend the world premiere of Sleepless in Seattle.

Now elite establishment figures must grapple with the true meaning of last night’s election: New Yorkers are fed up with Jerry Seinfeld.

Schumer and Jeffries have reassured establishment Democrats that sucking so much is something they can continue to fundraise off of.

There can be only one.

Billy. Executive In Charge of EVERYTHING.

No, actually, he/she was a hit man who blew his/her last contract because he/she was supposed to kill a child who was unexpectedly there, but instead saved him/her and became a surrogate father/mother, and then killed all the bad guys he/she used to work for.

At least in action films, I don’t give a shit about the lead‘s character arc. Just give me an evil villain, a diabolical scheme, and a cool hero. I don’t care that killing dozens of henchmen and dismantling the nuclear device resolved his issues with his father. Obviously, I’m no screenwriting guru.

“Politics is all bullshit. I don’t vote.” — Super Villains who walk among us.

I think the thing I like the most about Claire Valdez is that she not only takes bold stands in support of trans people, but that when people on the right try to use those positions to attack her, she's just like, "yes, that is correct."

My pithy comment: the difference between the Democratic Socialists winning and the Tea Party winning is that the press gave favourable coverage to the Tea Party

I knew nothing about Widow’s Bay going in. I thought it would be one of those cozy small town murder mystery shows, filled with whimsey and maybe a Snoop Sister or two. Not my cup of tea. But I watched it and you know what? It’s my fucking cup of tea.

Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries are going to prove they are not out of touch by making a homespun appearance on Lonesome Rhodes’s Cracker Barrel show.

it fucking rules that new york city politics have become what outsiders assumed they already were

Don’t want to say the Democratic Party has gone full communist, but it’s just been revealed that all three of the candidates Mamdani endorsed anonymously worked on the Roman Holiday screenplay.

Chauncey Gardiner was just arrested walking on the reflecting pool.

Beautiful.

It takes 1.28 seconds for a message to reach us from the Moon. It takes as little as 35 minutes from Jupiter. It takes as little as 4.5 hours from Pluto. It takes at least 6-12 months from NYT reporters, plus $35 for the book containing it.

I don’t like Never Trump Republicans, but I support the offshoot George Conway has started — Never Democratic Congressman Republicans.

Although undeniably true, Jack Schlossberg’s campaign slogan, “I’m Not The Worst Kennedy, Not Even Fucking Close” was not enough to win him the election.

Hey wait a minute… you’re not Maurice Chevalier.

Despite tonight’s setbacks, Schumer and Jeffries will continue their principled stance against Democratic candidates that Democratic voters actually like.

Brad Fucking Lander.

Get 25% off if you pre-order my new book now through Friday. www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sorry-were...

A bit weird that this excellent journalism is being posted today. True professionals like Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan would keep this to themselves and publish it in a book two years from now.

If it’s Trump, and it seems highly likely that it is, I’m sure Jake Tapper will launch a brand new, thorough investigation into the health of Joe Biden.

He was literally the originator of all the Jeremiah Wright nonsense. These people are terrible. But they hate “mango Mussolini” so they have been cashing in for like a decade now

Renee Good and Alex Pretti would be alive if they were reflecting pools.

I feel exactly the same. Rick Wilson is not the fucking resistance.

Now THIS is how you write an Alan Greenspan obituary.

This is the way.

Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk Donald the Dove Hillary the Hawk

Alan Greenspan might not seem like much now, but he was a big deal with people you’ve never met and will not ever cross paths with at any point in your life. Rest In Peace.

GREAT version of a timeless song. Jimmy Vivino CRUSHES on this.

Clive Davis signed Laura Nyro. I understand he signed some other artists, some of whom are kind of well known, but come on, he fucking signed Laura Nyro. Rest In Peace.

In the same way that the covid pandemic sparked interest in the movie Contagion, what’s happening in the reflecting pool could reinvigorate the discourse around the Mickey Rooney/Buddy Hackett opus, Everything’s Ducky.

On a whim, I just rewatched Return of the Jedi for the first time in decades, so strap in for some hot takes: It’s a good kids film. A New Hope is a great kids film. Empire Strikes Back is the only one in the trilogy that seems more like a grownup action-adventure film. A New Hope is still my fave.

Happy Father's Day 🖤

One of the greatest Warner Bros gangster pics, which is saying A LOT.

Today just wouldn’t be the same without…

Happy Father’s Day.

It’s close.

I enjoyed Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die. Don’t think it quite achieved what it was going for, but it was a big swing, and anyone who attempts a weird, batshit, overstuffed film with satiric elements has my admiration. (The Juno Temple storyline was genuinely edgy, almost too dark even for me.)

I’m an writer and I don’t use AI because, as you might recall my mentioning earlier, I’m a writer.

I think they’d say he’s a good man, which is equally as wrong.