We're watching the Australian kid's show Round the Twist. It's a tired joke to point out that Australia was once a penal colony, but every once in a while you do see its influence. There's a pun in here I legally can't make.

We were worried for a reason.

Gotta love trading cards that promise horrors.

The total collapse of the archive that once contained all human intelligence is pretty funny sometimes.

This is vile slander and you'll be hearing from my lawyer, Cobra Man.

Watch us watch Martin Kove eat most of a hospital.

Some damn fine books on this list. If they're ordered by quality, then I wrote the fifth best horror book of 2026. But they're not. I think they're chronological. Which means I wrote the fifth FASTEST horror book of 2026. www.menshealth.com/entertainmen...

I legit love this movie so much. It's just been me and Jeff Dunham at every Wraith fan club meeting. And now, Zak!

Don't let the haters tell you this was an accident. We've been planning this for years. It's the only reason we started Bigfeets. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppch...

This poster is designed so that, viewing it clockwise from top left, every single thing you look at is funnier than the last.

I don't like "this is the worst movie ever" humor. It's funnier to engage with art on its level and make jokes from there. That being said, this is the worst movie ever.

Buy my new book, I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200. Here's the best review: "Horror book too scary for me, 1 star."

@seanbaby.bsky.social and @brockway.bsky.social team up to discuss Prince Interactive, a 1994 video game that takes place either on the planet where Prince is from, inside Prince's memory palace, or in his body. It's not sure. 1900hotdog.com/2026/04/team...

Martin Kove made this Kove just for us.

It's crazy that I'm the 'emotional devastation' part of this.

I'm so excited to see a wall!

April is Martin Kove Month! Mapriltin Kove! Martin Kapril. Apriltin Kove. Fuck we should have done this in May.

As spotted by a reader at @powells.bsky.social. Honestly, the dream has always been for my hometown to refer to me as "local madman."

Officially nesting in a dark corner of Twisted Spine for the next couple hours. I will sign your book or fight you, depending on your request.

Brooklyn, you're a bunch of cowards. You don't have the nerve to attend this event, buy a book, politely chat for a bit and then leave without a scene.

@frydawolff.bsky.social joins @seanbaby.bsky.social and @brockway.bsky.social today in the Dogg ZZone to talk about Mary Beth's Bean Bag World, making us the #1 Beanie Baby podcasters of 2026. on.soundcloud.com/Fl5XUGdGJv3k...

I know you've ignored the other endorsements, but pay attention to this one. This guy is British, they still read books! Probably! You should listen to him. He's got the accent.

Joy is an interesting word for the things Jason does with his face.

I'm going to be signing books at The Twisted Spine THIS Saturday, March 28th, from 3-5PM. This is the ONLY signing event I have planned. This is your LAST chance to serve me papers before I disappear into the wilds of Connecticut.

Detective Hank Blood, battle dipshit. He's my new favorite character.

I'm doing an AMA over at Reddit's r/Fantasy right now! As in currently, the moment you exist in. It's all there is. Take advantage of it by asking a stranger an inane question he is legally obligated to answer. www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/co...

I'm doing a Reddit AMA tomorrow morning over at r/Fantasy! Please come by and ask a question. A normal non-legally binding question. No narcs. If you're a narc and you leave a comment you have to use the narc flair or it's entrapment. I know the law.

Resident Evil 9 is a masterpiece. Everybody wants a KLR 650 in their goofy ass chase scene, but nobody wants to commit to the pokka pokka one big cylinder engine sound. True artistic integrity.

Hands down, my absolute favorite kind of review. I think it's the betrayal.

Selling enough books to buy an SNES from the prison commissary seems like a pipe dream, but I've got my eye on a Tiger Handheld of The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and YOU can help make that dream happen!

Doing an AMA on Reddit's r/Fantasy next week! Mark your calendars, or more likely make a quick mental note of it, forget it completely during the week, then go "oh right" when you accidentally stumble across it again, far too late to participate.

The Bigfeets Boiz @seanbaby.bsky.social, @brockway.bsky.social, and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social celebrate one of the best episodes of Mountain Monsters ever! Nothing happens in this one that isn't directly related to Wild Bill's penis. on.soundcloud.com/mJFHrVK3JXXE...

This is the influencer letter I wrote as part of the marketing campaign for I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200. My editor called it "insulting in a captivating way."

Screenwriting Pro-Tip: To keep morale up, never sort your producer contact sheet by status of last reply.

Patreon's CMS is so bad and consistently broken our tech guy @katzatstudios.com spent some of the limited time he has on Earth coding this just to mock them. katzatstudios.com/PatreonResume/

Overseas folks who are desperate to kill some imaginary friends, who can feel that glittery blood on their teeth already but have no instruction manual: Good news! It looks like new copies of I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 are slipping through the blockade! Check your local book goblin.

Even without the crime, this is simply one of my favorite puppet fights ever. (It is not a crime to fight puppets.)

This is true, at one point in I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 the main character daydreams about being able to invest in a gun to improve his productivity.

Be fair and include context, please. You make it sound like I'm using zoomer slang to describe retro fashion. It's worse than that. I was referring to the actual 1970s.

The stupidest people in the world are surveilling our social media. If you do this, it will definitely put me on a list and probably get me killed. I'm in.

Reader sent me this. Gonna go sink my life savings into a Polymarket bet that this is the only time anyone will ever pose my book with multiple firearms.

It's been out for one month and I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 has 500+ ratings and 140 reviews on Goodreads. Still sitting at about 4 1/2 stars*. Incredible. *You will allow me the dignity of rounding up.

You can also find a ragtag team of humans, machines, and cryptids on our YouTube channel! They're always there, but this week so are @seanbaby.bsky.social , @brockway.bsky.social, and @alexschmidty.bsky.social. youtu.be/zjDIfiYXM-8

Dirk doesn't explicitly say it on the podcast, but I won this one.

The '80s were a simpler time.

I'll be signing books at The Twisted Spine, March 28th! This is the ONLY signing event we have for now, so you better show up. I mean, they'll probably have signed stock to order online afterward but this is your last chance to face me.

What a lovely review. Haha I made you feel things, sucker.

If you're having problems getting the book overseas the answer I got back - no shit - is that the book is selling faster than we can make copies. So I'm really sorry and I'll keep going to bat for you, I'll just do that in between bottles of champagne and doing donuts in my car.

My wife was wonderful on this podcast. The movie was not.