Just learned the name Tupac Yupanqui. What a gift.

Pride is the coolest

When the new glasses fit snug on your head.

Has pop culture always been informed by the whims of 10-year-olds?

Screaming crying spontaneously combusting

On season 4 of project runway where they keep saying the same slur over and over and no one is talking about car parts…

If a commercial has an animal in it I assume it’s AI now.

This is just to say The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off.

My dad, the archduke of conspiracy theories, has never seen The Matrix and this is blowing my mind.

Quick, pick one: A.) Phil Collins’ “Think About It” from Another Day in Paradise B.) Steve Winwood’s “Think About it” from “Higher Love”

Stay tuned to find out how long a 50 pack of Funyuns lasts in my house.

It’s like when the Egyptians would chisel the faces off of statues.

I love when the guy talking realizes he’s losing mr high energy and starts using jazz hands abs raising his voice to wake him up.

I feel so bad for Heidi Klum. If I divorced Seal it’d be so hard to never listen to Kiss From A Rose again.

Meatloaf was a pretty big piece of shit, however, I’d Do Anything For Love (But I won’t do that) is perfection.

My investment plan

Man 401k meetings are a hoooooooot in this economy!

You have not truly suffered unless you were forced to use a portable music player that skipped when you moved.

I would like the tallest man in the world to beat the spurs, thanks.

I wonder if psychics constantly have family and friends expecting free advice like doctors do.

Just watched a one minute video on YouTube about how to properly construct a sleeve and it feels like I’ve unlocked and entire section of my brain.

Oh someone in my neighborhood wasn’t kidding!

As I watch this administration do some of the most heinous crimes against democracy I remember they’ll be on Dancing With The Stars in a few short years.

Perfection

I’m officially tired of Walton Goggins until the next season of Fallout.

I might get super patriotic like Supreme Court Justice Alito and hang an upside down flag outside of my house this Fourth of July.

Guys my sons crossing guard said “you’re wearing jeans you must have gone somewhere” please throw me in the well as soon as humanly possible

I can’t wait to go on vacation so I can agonize about everything in a different zip code.

Someone out there loves the worst movie you’ve ever seen and that kind of biodiversity brings a tear to my eye.

Watching a show this old you see so much that’s considered offensive today. A white man speaking with an Asian accent. Ivanka Trump.

RIP Matt Brown You taught us what social isolation then sudden fame can do to the human mind.

I need to know what these people thought was giving them an erection.

Then again…

I get most excited for summer at 11 am on a Sunday when my kids ask what we’re having for dinner.

This hair dye better not run for senate in Texas or Republicans will be absolutely relentless!

Dude’s hugging his entire team at once.

One thing human beings got right: hammocks

Nothing says, “This is not politically biased” like turning it into a political rally.

I’ve had Crystal Methyd’s pin hanging up long enough for her to come back and become a front runner on All Stars.

I hate this guy so much but he’s always known how the average person thinks and that they’d sooner rally for dog rights than any human minority.

My most conservative opinion is that the little girl from True Grit should not have been turned into a sexy vampire.

Is it tinnitus that causes him to sound like the ticket muncher at Chuck E. Cheese?

RFK Jr. tinnitus emails are the new Ozempic right to your door emails.

the girl with kaleidoscope eyes (ocular migraine)

Was kind of blah on Spider-Noir until Jack Huston

My husband once threw the guy on the right out of his house party for starting fights. I guess he works for the DA now 😆

Scott Bessent is like if Richie Rich grew up and sold his soul and teeth to satan.

Everyone outside can hear the phone call you’re having through your car speakers with the windows up.

Now that there’s only one shouldn’t they just be called Milli? Or Vanilli?