Thinking about how my sister has to pay $5000 to the church where she’s getting married and how that’s definitely what Jesus intended.

Slightly diminish a band Hootie and the Goldfish

So if someone were to stop paying their taxes, who would come after them? All the IRS agents he fired? 🤔

You know when you totally forget a portion of your existence?

Been sitting at these crossroads for some time and not a single member of Bone Thugs has showed up. Getting lonely.

Imagine my shock when I read about the Facebook group dedicated to selling human remains.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

The minute I described the situation to my husband he said dude stepped in front of the car just to have an excuse. Didn’t even have to see it yet and knew.

Immediately question anyone who uses the word hellscape.

What’s sad to me is nearly the same thing happened here in Philly with the cops killing a dude not even driving away and the cop got off. Just a quick foreshadowing.

Yea, I’m that nerd joining the Teams meeting first!

Is she too young to know you never wear pink and black formally thanks to Marge Simpson?

“He always starts at the far end” like when he tells mortgage companies he makes way more than he does and then tells the IRS he makes way less than he does?

We were discussing the snow in Hawaii this morning and my 9-year-old asked why the US has states like Alaska and Hawaii that are far away and he’s already got more empathy than most republicans.

No new pictures, where are you mentally?

There are still monsters on the right I’ve never even heard of before.

My 3-year-old turns 46 this year.

Someone get their grandma from Drag brunch.

Charging

New year new season of @roadshowpbs.bsky.social that starts tonight! 🍾

I mean…

If a documentary starts with a 911 call then it’s for me.

The first two hours this morning

Does Venezuela have a robust Winter Olympics team? Do we get to confiscate them as well?

MTG slowly morphing into Elizabeth Warren.

Cleaning off an old shelf and absolutely horrified by this discovery.

Been watching 3D printing videos and I’m horrified to ask, but what happens to ALL of that leftover plastic? 🫣

The DEA orchestrates a photo shoot and takes selfies now?

Who the fuck is out here saying Donroe Doctrine?!

Can’t afford healthcare or beef but we can afford Venezuela?

Nike about to have another Heaven’s Gate moment.

NOW can can we get a new Team America World Police movie?!

My “No News 2026” lasted 2 days.

It’s sort of cool that now the media is forced to cover the dumb shit he’s doing.

Starting to understand why he hasn’t gotten the peace prize yet.

I approve of the entire Stranger Things series based solely on the fact that they’re meeting up in Philly.

Some of that Philly culture for your timeline.

Remember when you’d drop your phone and it would snap in half?

New year new mesothelioma.

Things I never want to hear again thanks to Stranger Things: 1.) Papa 2.) Running Up That Hill 3.) Camezots

Almost time for 24 hours of The Poseidon Adventure!

Semaglutidings of good cheer.

The funniest line of the funniest scene of the funniest movie ever made.

I’m immediately reminded of how the Egyptians would straight up chisel your face off of a monument and I get that now.

What has Scarlett Johansson become?

I still dream about her.

Spent my childhood being told cracking my knuckles would hurt me only to spend my adulthood being told cracking my spine would help me.

I can taste this picture.