New comic! Wherein Cord self-assesses.

Either the wind is ridiculously strong or the Kool-Aid Man just made an unsuccessful attempt at bursting through my wall.

Chess player: That’s check AND mate! Me: In this economy?

I don’t often get zero likes, but when I do, I’ve either said something positive about myself or implied that I have talent.

Hi loves, could we send this back around. I'm still stuck in bed recovering from covid and cant deliver or do lyft. Im just trying to stay ahead of bills and pay for prescriptions when I can. Please boost, everything helps. Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

“Treat yourself!” My self-esteem: Like shit?

New comic! Wherein Sock reflects on the viewing habits of yesteryear.

All work and no play makes Jack an average citizen of a capitalistic hellscape.

I've mastered the art of failing to master art.

Not having to spend every waking moment contending with unrelenting stress and debilitating grief would fix me.

The fucking around, I’ll give ya. The finding out? That’s gonna cost you.

Disassociatin’ to the Oldies

if I could run and jump and do spins or roll in a ball or anything like that, I totally still wouldn't. that sounds like a whole lot of moving around. no thank you.

🎶HONEYCOMB BIG🎶 I mean, kinda? For cereal, anyway. 🎶IT’S NOT SMALL🎶 Again, if we’re speaking relatively.

They’ll do this and then wonder why no one is upgrading. When I was growing up, companies were willing to sell hardware at a loss because they knew they’d make up for it in software sales, but these days, they’ll settle for nothing less than every fucking penny their customer base has.

I mean, if the choice is between that and watching a Rob Schneider movie...

First place my mind goes whenever I hear or read the term "not-too-distant future."

Do you ever descend? If so, might I suggest "into madness"?

Every fuckin' company's like, "We're sorry you didn't like our AI, but can we interest you in our AI?"

Am I Dying Or Do I Need a Rest Day from Working Out?: A Memoir

The anti-consumer behavior at play here, especially on the part of gaming companies, is just sickening. When I was growing up, the only consoles that cost this much were the super-niche ones - i.e., Neo Geo and 3DO - and those price tags are why almost nobody owned them.

How the butt did they make a Lumo sequel and *not* call it 2mo?!

The universe was like, “I’ll give YOU something to cry about!”

Hell, gang! Here’s our GFM. It’ll probably take some adjusting but uh… we could use some help! www.gofundme.com/f/amber-broo...

Go away, typo. Nobody likes you.

Isn’t it cool how literally no one can be trusted with our data?

Me: I broke the mold! Art supply store manager: Thank you for your honesty. That’ll be $3,000 dollars.

The lost art of losing art.

I left it to Beaver and he fucked everything up like usual

Tossing AND turning? In this econo-- Actually, yeah, that tracks.

"Why don't you cry about it?" Obviously because I cried about everything else and am now severely dehydrated.

Mr. T has a British counterpart named Mr. Tea.

I don't have any warts, so I need to be loved "weird moles and all."

Weird. I thought it said "entertainment."

"Timing is everything," I remark as I post an absolute banger at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday.

Is Michael Myers known as "The Shape" on account of being in incredible shape for a guy who's at *least* in his 70s?

Y'all, Please help Rebeka. This is a serious call for action. They're battling cancer and are behind on bills & they can't even get the medication that is needed NOW! (Several dosages missed) We CANNOT sit idly & watch them lose this battle. Help NOW. Their link: ko-fi.com/rebekamash/g...

Urgently trying to raise $1200 to cover a bill that could go into collections. Please boost. Im nearly able to get back to driving for income while dealing with my bank but thats not really viable for this. Every little bit helps 🖤🖤🖤

“But if you so much as imply that anything I’ve said or done is wrong in any way, I will sling childish insults at you as your colleagues watch in silence.”

Practical jokes are not remotely funny*. *when they’re played on me and only me

I mean, if the haircut doesn’t, the mustache certainly does.

If you're a fan of my stuff and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber. Thanks so much.

When I punctuate an unfollow with a block.

A piece of hardware that's been available for *six years* is receiving a $100 price increase. Isn't living in the inverse of how everything is supposed to work awesome?

Between an ongoing pandemic that everyone is determined to ignore and prices like this, I'm pretty much done with restaurants. Haven't eaten *at* a restaurant since 2020 on account of COVID, and I order takeout fewer than a dozen times a year. It's simply not worth it.