I said I wanted a Duckman revival, but the universe clearly heard "health anxiety."

Endlessly vacillating between intense health anxiety and hard-hitting grief like

Sure, MAGA hates the woke mind virus, but they don't support screening for it before age 60.

New comic! The day referenced herein was weeks ago, which is also when this was drawn. May no one ever accuse me of being timely.

Brother, Can You Spare a Support Network?

Folks, Bex is AT THE HOSPITAL RN They need either $300 to pay upfront at another medical facility OR $1100 to pay the minimum on their current hospital bill to get care where they are now. THIS IS HAPPENING NOW!! Can we mobilise to help them NOW? ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

THEN: Home is where the heart is. NOW: Home is unaffordable.

Me after spending an entire week contending with what is possibly the worst health anxiety I've ever experienced.

Is that salad even tossed, bro?

"Lose the cloak, kid! You wanna be a star, don't ya?!"

So weird when a franchise veers into body horror to stay relevant.

Is that fade even out, bro? #Scriptsky

Fun… *checks notes*… in the SUN? That can’t be right.

Is that halt even screeching, bro?

Girl, are you a popular regional convenience store chain that has no locations in my state? Because I wanna sample everything you have to offer.

Healthcare-based ASMR is known as ASMRI.

Best I can do is a hovel and a shanty.

Rom-com production has been scaled back due to Hollywood exhausting its supply of ‘80s and ‘90s pop songs to use as titles.

A Tale of TWO Cities? In this economy?

Always repost money cat 😁

My DC people: have you seen this cat wtop.com/local/2026/0...

Stop, collaborate, AND listen? In this economy?

A moratorium on posting about beloved regional convenience store chains to which I lack ready access.

The Supreme(ly Racist) Court

Better stop Googling symptoms if I want to be well-rested for a full day of Googling symptoms.

(Shopping for seams.) Yes, how are these for coming apart at?

venmo.com/u/trev0r123456 Hey, I ain't gonna lie, my financials are still kind of fucked, so if you wanna throw me something, please do. If not, no worries. I feel pretty terrible just putting the link out.

New comic! Wherein the guys unravel the mysteries of the canine mind.

Thank goodness men have historically been completely chill and cool about stuff like this.

“Chris is the way.” - A Jedi named Chris, probably

My chill is gone within five seconds of opening my eyes.

On drug testing days, the Jedi Temple hangs a banner that says “Piss is the way.”

Me, striking: Hey! No one told me that iron was hot!

I regret to inform you that today’s obligatory 4:00 a.m. half-joke has been delayed due to extensive rewrites.

A skeptical Jedi is like, “THIS is the way?”

I've been contending with a health scare since Sunday, but I wanted to get a new comic up before my next panic shifts my focus elsewhere.

One of the few episodes I didn’t see until it entered syndication despite it being one of my favorites. To this day, I don’t think I’ve seen the non-syndication cut.

The window for jokes about how being a certain age makes you old closes the instant I turn that age. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Why would I waste all this sleepiness on sleep?

Literally the worst health anxiety I’ve ever experienced, and if you know me, that says something.

It hurts my heart to say all this but my mom passed away on Sunday morning after a 7-year battle with lung cancer. We’re trying to raise $8,536 for funeral expenses since we don’t have insurance. Any support or even sharing this would mean the world to us right now. ko-fi.com/ellienoctis/...

Google our symptoms, freak the fuck out, and (not) chill?

New comic! Meant to post this one on Mother's Day, then the day after Mother's Day, then the day after the day after Mother's Day. (Blame health anxiety.)

BREAKING: President provides internet with easy joke.

Peak peakness.

If you watch a William Shatner cop show obsessively, is that TJMaxxing? 🤔