My favorite thing in theater is how when someone is dying they can never just shut up about it.

he asked for the girlfriend experience so I started a fight with his mom

Just A Song Before I Go (vocal: me) + random slideshow

Nice!

If you limit your tv watching to Laurel & Hardy, The 3 Stooges, and Looney Tunes, life does get easier.

Imagining a guy who calls Bisquick “Bitchquick” and laughing really hard

If they tell us what causes autism we’re all going to immediately do that thing, right?

Jim Carrey should play Charlie Kirk in the movie.

Actual photo from the memorial rally:

Just A Song Before I Go (vocal: me) + random slideshow

A lot of great 80s music has been just… lost I guess.

La Meunière (2024)

I’m starting to get nervous about my 2019 MacBook Pro because I know they’ll only give me maybe a week’s notice before they stop supporting it.

I know what I’m doing Wednesday morning.

If you can do nothing else, make a point of saying thank you any time it might make a difference to someone.

Did you ever read a post so funny it kind of pisses you off? I’m Shankar Vedantam and this… is Hidden Brain.

“But if I leave Twitter it’ll only have conservative voices” My dear, stupid friend you are fighting a battle you lost 18 months ago.

Your cat who loves the warmth of your breath isn’t a fuzzy ball of love it’s a cold-blooded murderer.

my brother you invented a casio

If you’re into preserving your sanity, I strongly recommend avoiding anything with the words “This Old House” in it.

Please if you've never heard the Bertha Butt Boogie you need to. Enrich your life 🎶🎶 youtu.be/5yE3IBRx2-Y?...

Imagine being the president of the USA and using social media to threaten other countries, like a 12-year-old. It boggles the mind.

Just let me look like shit in peace, man.

You have the right to do anything you’re pretty sure you have the ability to do.

i can never tell if im trying too hard or not hard enough

Let’s all go around the room and tell each other about one federal crime we’ve committed.

Before caller ID landlines were insane. The phone rang, you just answered. No idea who it was. It could be your mom, it could be prison. We lived like maniacs.

Nice dipthong usage bro.

You don’t have to understand the wiring to feel the current.

Being a US citizen feels an awful lot like being a high school student.

I think people say that their parents did their best way more often than parents do their best.

So many popular accounts on here will post painfully simplistic blame rants against huge groups of people, as if context was just a made-up excuse. I don’t care if you have 100k followers, you suck.

brute forcing my way into having a good day. knocking shit over, yelling at people etc. whatever it takes

I found 19 through-the-wall ACs still in the boxes, 20 years old, in an abandoned storeroom!!

Marching out into the deep woods and telling the first fae I see my whole and true name, I'm fuckin done here time to go

The Democratic Party is a big tent so every so often they can pump it full of Stupid Gas.

I wonder how much of social media radicalization is due to the rest of the internet being largely unusable to the average person.

you're all wrong, antifa is a 501(c)4

Siri play the UK shipping forecast for the next 8 hours.

i see gorgeous masonry like this and i go absolutely silly sicko mode

If you, an administrator, know exactly how easy and quick the job will be, I would invite you to go ahead and do it yourself.

organizational incompetence is painful if you wanna be productive but it's a godsend if you just want to slip thru the cracks and collect paychecks

(Interviewing new parents for my zine) so do you love the baby

Pouring a coffee out on the curb for all those projects that were really hard to do and turned out kinda fucked up.

out of office reply: accidentally ordered my coffee from a dunkin in michigan so i should be back in like 5-6 business days

Deep Space Mime.

GM 🖤 It's only Tuesday. Plenty of week left to channel the energy of the Chihuahua who joins the wolf pack

"dark academia" do you mean middle school

The reason so many companies have nonsense names is that if we knew what they actually do we would be really mad.