Bluesky actually hates shit posters. It’s true. Haters.

Ahhh reality. You sneaky bitch!

It’s very important to me that my nonsense remains high quality

I think I'd be a cute werewolf, all fluffy, warm, and lounging in the full moon, not eating villagers or anything. Just me and werewolfery.

Sometimes you just need to float down a river

Absolutely nothing in this world could inspire me to give a fuck about that – Me in an imagined argument with an imagined stranger like lol good one, me

more blooms showing up today ❤️

youtu.be/wjhxkANhKwI?... 😍😍😍

I’d probably be funny if I could remember anything for longer than 10 minutes to tell you about it

Today’s mood

Bluesky is great if you want life advice from a picture of a cat

fuckinyouhard is following me on bsky. It's the government isn't it?

Sounds of Ireland. Your moment of Zen.

in the bin instead of hanging on the clearance rack now yeah that’s me

*pokes at skeet with a stick*

"I prefer my women..." if you don't say, "thought provoking, strong, compassionate, intelligent, empowered, free, loving, and close to my own age," I worry about you. Mostly because I'm hunting you, but also, because I won't be alone.

Legs are the ice cream cone of the butt.

sticks and stones may break my bones but cilantro will never hurt me

Of course when I come to LA it decides to rain. Touché, universe

If someone could grab the base of my skull and squeeze it and then dig your thumbs into my pressure points, that’d be great.

You have to believe cheese is magic Nothin’ can stand in its way You have to believe its magic Don’t ever let your cheese ever stray

In a 6-3 decision SCOTUS rules you put that racist shit back up right now or else

and inside that box...was another box!

It’s Torture Tuesday! Get ya asses up and move a bit, pick up something heavy, grow muscles big enough to squeeze the life out of anyone that makes you sad. You’ll feel better. 🩷 #gymsky

Every day log on to Twitter, mute 10 propagandists and log off

I noticed the a few people had saved one of my shitposts. Um.. 🤔 why would anyone save my.. whatever my posts are? Are you okay? 😟

Every day I check to see if I have magical powers. It's day 15705 and I still have none 😞

FIFA is a money losing disaster due to Trump and I hope he’s sitting on his gold toilet screaming I did that.

I remembered my father telling me, “Son, the world is your oyster.” Being a father myself and now a grandfather, it turns out the world is an oyster that’s been shucked, chewed, and spit back onto the shell.

Every kiss from a rose has its thorn birds

these lil guys are always around if you pause ✨🖤🕷️

I need to spend more time online. There's got to be a way.

I imagine years ago the wealthy in France had faith in their system, right up until everyone stormed the Bastille

Hey all - Have a great Tuesday. I hope you find some pops of happiness along the way today. Cheers!

I kinda like it when people are strange

🎂🎂🎂

the masculine urge to piss outdoors

@leela-after-dark.bsky.social youtu.be/MC2bNPOPKIU?... Happy birthday my friend ✨💕✨

lowe's nature walk 🤣✨✨✨

🐝✨✨✨

I just wanna be a lil hummingbird. Flying around all cute and twitchy.

post malone implies the existence of reply malone

my three little babies

When I’m 70, I want to be as young as Geena Davis.

The cheaper the hotel, the harder the toilet paper roll is to reach

You seem unmedicated and fun..flirting

Is the past tense of skeet, skat, and does that mean they’re all shit posts?

Offering myself as a living art piece. For fifty bucks a day I’ll stand in a corner of your house and strike whatever pose you want.

Saw you rant before you blocked me. Tissue? 💅

Guess I better level up on the ol’ profile. 45 is going to be awesome right?!