The bluesky equivalent of liking someone’s old Instagram photo is liking someone’s skeet from 2024

Harrison Ford would be the greatest poster if he ever deigned to post, which he would never do, because of the same instincts that would make him the greatest poster.

How can you be social on social media when it takes over 60 seconds to post a reply? FTP

this app is finally on my level of glitch

nutella: spreading across the globe and now the moon

“We’ve made it, Warren! … The moon!”

Astronauts enforcing first rule of flight club apparently.

They never give you any credit for all the shit you don't start.

My divorce from reality was finalised today.

Some things are better left said into a megaphone.

what if jesus was trying to show us we could hibernate like bears

Girl found passed out in bed after a long day at work. News at 11

long john silver linings playbook

im thinking that there never really was any magic in that ball

I love the smell of my F5 key... It's very refreshing.

i always feel so dainty when the doctor’s office records my weight in kilograms

astronauts: *lost contact with earth for 40 minutes* me: jealous

my first act as president will be act 1

*eats a peanut butter and 50 mg black cherry gummy sandwich for lunch*

the formula could not be more simple

Long story short, scratch and sniff is not foreplay.

GOD: just got your text are you still in the cave

*putting an open beer back in the fridge after finding the one I knew I had but couldn't find* be patient I will get to you soon enough

I have opinions you guys would light me on fire for

you guys are a bunch of lunatics (get it? because everyone talking about the moon?)

In life may we all aspire to be as crispy as the apple pie in a paper sleeve from McD’s.

This is Jomvet. She is the rootinest tootinest cowboy around with a two-ounce hat on her head and a yeehaw in her heart. 12/10 (IG: mha.mahamek)

me: you’re such an angle her: aww, but you mean angel me: no, angle, like obtuse

NASA: "We'll Back to our Artemis ii coverage, after this commercial break"

I hadn't seen this before. This is pretty remarkable. Earth and Moon in one NASA photo. ht @astrokatie.com

trying to fit the robot vacuum into my ear canal in hopes it can tidy up my brain

srsly universe? you break my coffee maker on a Monday wtf

one small joke for a poster, one giant banger for posterkind

As Artemis II passed out of communication with earth, I was struck by the realization that each day each of us is the farthest we have been from the moment we were thrown into this world, pushed out into space, slung by gravity, looking out the windows.

my parents on the moon launch mom: why are they going to the moon dad: same reason we go to your brother in Australia- some people like going very far away to a place where you die if you go outside

More accurate every day since I originally posted it

First look at the Moon and Earth together! 4 people on the left, 8.3 billion people on the right 🌎

This might be the MOST STUNNING photo from Artemis II yet Crescent Earth illuminated by light above 🤩 📷 Artemis II

bluesky betrayed yall (broke) because internet providers betrayed us (broke)

No matter how many reminders, how many objects I pile by the door, how many times I write it down, how vigilantly I tell myself not to forget, it is guaranteed I will forget something. Might be tiny, like paper towels for the office. It might be important, like keys. It might be critical, like pants

"muffinS" spelled backwards is exactly what you do when you take them out of the oven. 🤤

Me: *pulls a rabbit out of a hat and makes doves appear from a handkerchief* Zookeeper: And the penguin in your backpack. Hand it over!

non-essential posters please save to drafts. we MUST prioritize moonposting

person: *screaming* me: ah! i see you are familiar with my work!

the bag of doritos in the pantry just texted me 'you up?'

Ooh, three kinds of cheese. Way to flaunt your extravagance.

"We have our best scientists and engineers on top of these Bluesky anomalies." The scientists:

We are all in this together. That is how meat grinders work.