first bluesky video from 2022

Anytime now aliens

I wanna be a ghost just floating around all willy nilly like

You shouldn’t have to go to work if your dog doesn’t want you to.

The unkept, tired look is my thing.

I thought I lost my mind, but turns out it was just in my pocket. Wait… nope. That was my keys. Carry on.

if nothing else, do something nice for a stranger today.

Me: I said something stupid Brain: You should shut up while you’re ahead Me: I think I’m going to try to explain myself Brain: Please don’t Me: Everyone is mad at me Brain: Have you tried riding a motorcycle without a helmet about it?

I get on my plants’ nerves. I can just tell.

“I’m very calm,” I insist as I alphabetize my panic.

i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs

Gonna get a giant Christmas stocking, crawl inside it, and pretend that I’m a cozy mouse who can’t talk or be aware of world events

crazy coincidence that ai isn’t being used to empower women

Sooo first tornado of the year already what the actual fuckkkkkkk??!! I give up, 2026 sucks lol

Epstein #epstein Epstein #epstein Epstein

I’m just in a transitional moment* right now *between birth and death

Everything is a sign if you’re paranoid enough.

as this 1-week free trial ends I've decided to cancel 2026

Woke up on the wrong side of my brain again

People with Air Fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

i bet houdini probably loved telling people he couldnt do stuff cuz his hands were tied

Talking to myself after every single social interaction

It wasn't unexpected, just disappointing.

Be the reason the lights flicker and chamber music starts playing whenever you enter the room.

Looook were the two best friends that anyone can have!!

Loooook at my best little friend!!!! We are relaxing from being on the beach! Timeline cleanses!

*doorbell rings* *opening the god damn door* "better not be a god damn person there"

The breathtaking interior of Basilica Sant'Andrea delle Fratte in Rome, Italy, built in the 17th-century. 🙏🏼🌍🕊️ 📷 Photo by Peter Li©️ | Architecture & Design

I'm ambimexstrous. I can make a total disaster with either hand.

the real never ending story is just laundry

Don’t let up! Epstein #epstein Epstein #epstein

my sighs are up here

hold these bootstraps for me so I can cry for a while

Hey new friends! Why? Tha hell are you thinking? This account remains mainly cheesy, so just warning y’all ahead of time.

This year I’m going to be kinder, more positive, work harder, and put more faith in myself until the very first minor obstacle throws me off for the next 350+ days

my cue

On a team call, one of my coworkers said that he was “on top of it” and of course I had to say “like I was with your mom last night” but for some reason I was muted..turns out my boss can control the mute button..so I’m filing a complaint with h.r. this is bullshit censoring.

Bleeeeeegh! Remember Epstein #epstein Epstein #epstein

Well... time to go outside. *takes off sweatpants, puts on good sweatpants*

Wait….wait Ohmygosh..crude oil = black..black=the ink they ran out of releasing the unredacted redacted Epstein files…that’s what he’s needing it for. #epstein Epstein #epstein Epstein

Friends and family: you need to try and live in the moment Me: ok but like, this moment?

Sets alarm. Cries myself to sleep.

The feminine urge to be tied to a railroad track

7 1/2 more to go