if you're a vampire trying to get into someone's house try this one cool trick. knock on the door and when they open it say thank you. they'll say you're welcome and then you can just go right in

Today I learned that Savage Love still exists.

You know what? I'll help take on some of this labor.

It was nice not having to go into the office for three months

Joan Jett voice: I love Diet Coke

Mother Love Bone should've been more popular

happy pride month

Wearing my "Protect Trans Kids" t-shirt from @nerdykeppie.bsky.social to get my second Hep B booster from my doctor at Mt. Sinai Take from this what you woll

Happy Pride to all the trans and otherwise queer posters in my skyline. You improve my feed by being there. Stay strong, stay safe, stay authentically you.

And now, with this morning's reply quota finally reached, I can leave the Butterfly App and go about my day for several hours. I bid you adieu.

In ancient times Scythian transgender priestesses used to drink horse piss as a form of HRT. That’s why for Trans Pride I’m partnering with Strongbow Original Cider

Would Rosary be a good name for a Jesus and Mary Chain cover band?

"Magic Johnson was the greatest clutch player the league has ever seen. Period."

Well, I finally heard it. "Back in the '90s? And the 2000s? That was the real NBA. I don't know what this shit is now."

Labeling entire accounts “adult” and hiding them, no matter what they are posting, will inevitably suppress vast amounts non-explicit political speech around sex work and censorship. The accounts most likely to speak out about over moderation are the ones first to experience it — the whistleblowers

Reposts helps me heaps

if the spurs end up facing the knicks in the finals in a 1999 rematch, we all have to post like it’s 1999

Fly the Knicks flag from the top of the Space Needle, you cowards

Fuck you, Thunder, you're just God's farts

Things are so expensive now "Pimp My Ride" is called "Maintain My Vehicle"

What's a good name for a Toto cover band?

These are the most rage inducing paragraphs I've ever read as a Seattle sports fan.

You can just block 😉

BREAKING: Du Jour announce they are withdrawing from the America 250 lineup of bands

Me: don't be weird on social media today Me: [likes 17 posts by the same person in 2 minutes] Me: ... Fuck

Some of the characters in Better Call Saul are like, direct rip-offs of characters from Breaking Bad.

Happy 115th birthday to a small mountain hut in the Bavarian Alps! Why? Because it was opened on this day in 1911, of course. And... um... 🧵

Sure, okay. ☆ copy this to your profile and let your mutuals tell you their first impression of you ☆

Make a movie into a porn: Pecker

Tonight, I find out if I, too, Love Boosters.

Don't talk to me before I've had my morning lasagna

This is very jarring for reasons that only a few will understand

Welp, time to watch Se7en again

Fun fact: the Knicks haven't won an NBA Championship in MY lifetime

Good morning to everyone I have a parasocial relationship with on this app

We are going to win! This stuff can and will be brought to a halt. None of it is inevitable. Anthropic cannot afford to slow down. It has to grow to at least $100bn a year in revenue or it doesn’t have a hope in hell of paying its compute bills. Same for clammy little Altman.

Amazing that I can't watch the Knock potentially clinch the East tonight unless I subscribe to ESPN

bsky.app/profile/hime... yo if someone did that to my art i would [REDACTED]

[sliding into your DMs] Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

Assigned Media just got screwed over by SquareSpace not allowing them to take their subscribers with them when they switched to a new platform. Having been there before, I know how aggressively this sucks! Please consider helping them out by subscribing today (I did!).

I grew up saying "peek in" I got better.

NINE Inch Nails? In this economy?!

If you're an artist following me, please make sure to block @curation-lab.bsky.social to protect your work. Don't let this AI bot critique your human-made art.

Guess who's technically still at work? It's me. I am

Proof that comedy isn't legal on Bluesky

me, totally unprompted:

I need that meme for my coworkers that has the mom putting "query" and "as per" and "circle back" up on a high shelf to they're out of reach from a baby.