@tess.bzky.team showing off her shoes to a passerby #sizesky

Sending her a song with deliriously fucked up lyrics and then a silly lil nudie as penance 🙂‍↕️

"All legs" indeed

Ya ever just tuck in for a little nap and wake up over an HOUR AND A HALF LATER

Did so good this week my therapist said she ought to actually buy some gold stars for me for the "that gets a gold star" bit I always do 😂

All my homies got therapy Thursdays 🙂‍↕️

Y'know... I'm starting to think my ex just actually didn't even like me.

Save me, peanut butter hot cocoa, peanut butter hot cocoa save me

Get you an anxious bitch who jokes about "the rulebook" so much you start to worry she's got an actual book of all the brain worms somewhere but no. She memorized it.

Oh boy, what to talk about in therapy this week? 🤔🤔🤔

dawg for dog

And then she can use the money for Chili dogs

I feel cozy

I'm too cute for digital paperwork and bills. I should be allowed to be a force of nature that tells you how hot it is when you fix the wifi and bites your thighs while you place my online order for me, and be a silly dweeb about the new hobby I learned on a whim that is unbelievably extra

Last night I slept feverishly and had candy before bed which resulted in nightmares including one where my landlord showed up and chastised me for using the wrong dish soap to wipe the counters with. So naturally I had candy before bed again

Many intellectuals are saying:

To all the beautiful gals out there, NEVER FORGET: Somewhere nearby, like much much closer than you'd think, there's an anesthesiologist who has been on his knees praying to meet you, just so he can pay you $350 to see the way your boobs look in your bra.

Sorry but you don't get to raise an eyebrow at my joy when you didn't raise a finger at my misery 💕

I know it's not GOOD for me but it's wild how whiskey hits my head three times as hard when I'm sick and if you think you're gonna get me to stop, you better be exactly one person and you better be ready for a fight

Considering becoming a sugar baby but instead of money, you just send me chili dogs and I send you my dawgs. What the hell did I just type?

Shout out to chili for being incomprehensible as anything other than itself. Just like me fr.

Hey chat, quick question, is it synesthesia to have like, zero actual sense of taste and instead categorize flavor by color, smell, and texture, which, to be clear, is separate from the color, smell, and texture of the actual thing?

"What does the minecraft cookie dough taste like?" "Have you ever licked a porcelain doll?" "Oh, okay, of course, yeah"

"Apparently if Mole was hot, I'd be into him" - @leahshape.bsky.social

"Do I just have to keep getting you into more and more expensive alcohol until you can't afford to drink as much as you do?"

Gender affirming being a big ass baby about a cold cause I can't fuckin take care of myself ig

I have been getting most of my protein this week from shoving fistfuls of peanuts and peanut butter in my mouth and I'm starting to think this might interfere with my bulking plans

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's forging weapons that will be used against me 😂

Plotting and scheming

Ok time to go to work and do my job I guess

*holding my dog's face in my hands* I hope you know all the things* I sacrifice for you, baby boy *Characters in my bio

It means this

Girl raised Mormon asking the girl raised pagan how to do that witchcraft stuff, but it's just like... Normal self care.

The 10 minute span it took to go from "wait, no one can stop me from eating candy at midnight" to eating several handfuls of candy to getting a stomach ache. This is the adulthood I dreamed of as a little girl.

No YOU'RE too sad the weekend was over so soon and crying looking through the few photos you took and kicking yourself for not taking more and adding captions to them in your photo app to make sure you can find them again

Gdi evil sister's birthday is in two days.

Hey Google, how to let good things happen to you and not feel like someone must have made a mistake?

Cheney dead, Mamdani won, all the worst people are crying. I love today.

A client asked me repeatedly and earnestly today if everything is ok and I was SO confused until I went to the bathroom and remembered I'm still covered in hickeys, gdi 😂

Shower is also code for gay sex.

sorry dude i didn't see you down there

woke heavy metal (with girls)

⛽🔥

Oh cute

Staying up all night adding shading on some graphite sketches of my favorite curves and edges of my new gal pal #justgirlythings

Eating food? Nah nah, I do it cause I gotta but I can't promise I'll enjoy it Eating sunlight? Not even possible, but we gotta find a way. I'm sure it would be delicious, I need it in my belly.

oh i'm always tall and gorgeous

Oh hey there lil guy

It's so so so sad whenever people don't realize they're in love with me