This basketball game has inspired me to go to bed

I know nobody gives a shit, but if UConn wins, I win my family bracket

Is my life just a Castlevania game?

did you know polymarket doesn't post here? how could you know. people just take the screenshots and post them anyway.

Who says there's no good news anymore?

I can tell I'm not out of the woods yet with this concussion because I'm willingly watching the Rays winning a game right now

Sometimes I don't even have a take on a subject but i hit post anyway. By the time it shows up on bluesky, who knows

Finally, the ideal TL

Snow in early April: Just drop the nukes right on top of my house, thanks

I don't think I could make a joke better than this

Sure, the AI doesn't work well to make art or run a website or handle fast food orders or cite legal cases but at least it's also rapidly destroying the environment

On the plus side, this makes it easy to not use this website too much every day. Take the wins where you can, i have been told

Will bluesky work when i open it this time?

Bad news, everyone. I don't work today, so you might have to put up with my bullshit

My two options going forward on here are going to have to be 1. Block every Havarti cheese-brained dorkass loser on here who even slightly annoys me on sight; or 2. Spend approximately 4.75 minutes per day on bsky for the foreseeable future

"Have to poop"

Thunder Bay, and I know it's the worst because every time I tell someone who lives in Canada that's the only city I've been to there they say, "oof, I'm sorry."

Gunther Eagleman is the fake name an American guy would use to check into a seedy motel in Germany, come on

Been off this website for ~45 days, and within 12 hours of logging back on i have found a headline designed to make me want to bash my already concussed head against a fucking brick wall until my brain actually falls out and moves to a new town to start over without me. Outstanding.

Time for my first cadbury egg of the year

Hi. While I've been gone I: - Attended a hero walk, wake and funeral for a 5 year old; - got into 2 (one very minor) auto accidents; - got a concussion (still dealing with this); - became a fully confirmed Catholic; - started watching sprint car racing. How have you been?

I mean, the fact that there's no Almond Joy Easter candy really tells you all you need to know

Alright, I'm gonna head out for Lent. See you, uh, in a while

Oh, yeah. Time to jump on the prompt post train and get that sweet, sweet discourse going. Ok everyone: What is Witch Vomit's signature song?

Sitting on the back deck and giving serious thought to just never going back inside

The biggest video game crash out I've ever been a party to was a time when a friend (badly) threw an office chair at me This was back in the Dreamcast days. My buddy had whatever NFL game was current at the time, and we played it a lot. At some point I discovered what may have been a glitch

Ah, just got home from work. Let's check out the ol bsky feed (Sees the RFK and Kid Rock thing) Hmm (Puts phone into cannon, fires cannon directly at the sun, goes to read a book)

Fine, I will be the interim director of the MLBPA

In some good news, got a dismissal with prejudice for a client today, helllll yeah

Bananas and Blow by Ween

I'm out of cold brew so I'll just drop a couple adderall into a regular cup of coffee

Bluesky, The Sports Website©️

Former client stops by to drop something off. Him: Good to see you're still employed. You haven't been replaced by AI? Me: Not yet. Him: You know what that stands for? Me: (Shrug) Him: Assholes international

🚨 IMPORTANT 🚨

Been trying to think of something to say about Rev. Jesse Jackso all day, but my big dumb brain isn't helping me out. My first memory of Rev. Jackson was from the 1988 election. I don't remember much, but I remember I wanted him to win. Obviously at 8 years old I wasn't aware of his decades of work,

The AOTY bar has been raised

I quite literally flipped the coffee table over during the tuck rule game. I'm very glad my roommate wasn't home too see me acting like a baboon

Free dungeon synth compilation title:

You're all the hardest drinking region of the country in my book

One serious downside of applying for jobs is that now I have to answer my phone on occasion ☹️

God bless @gruberites.bsky.social for bringing back the Tuesday release

When i see you out here trying to rehab George W fucking Bush

Advertise your account with a gif

My wife fixed the furnace last night, so she knows the power that comes from feeling like this

Cream puffs and bourbon and the music was louder My wife was competing in a game of chance The party raged and the guests were screaming I could have danced all night

I wish any of these dudes would face a consequence worse than "decided to stop working so I can enjoy my billions of dollars without hurting shareholder value," but, alas, our hands are simply tied

I love texting STOP to opt out

Oh, you're out there "enjoying the weather?" Well some of us are so dedicated to our craft that we're proud to have spent this entire day at a desk, facing the glass office door that gives us only a view of the hallway. So there.

Apparently i hacked Jeff Rosenstock's account today