My curse is that my absolute favorite thing to play in video games is pro wrestling career modes and they only do short versions now

May I help you?

This remarkable therapy uses an approach the Trump administration just cancelled funding for.

Owned this car for 16 hours and have locked my keys in it already so… that’s kinda fun I guess

Me 5 minutes before I begin skeeting mayday parade lyrics:

Just saw someone being raptured and grabbed on to his foot to go with and he kicked me in the face so he got sent back down. Great work buddy now we’re both down here mad as hell.

Brother she helped you to a championship literally one season ago?

The living room in my apartment doesn’t have a ceiling fan so I’m looking for a standing fan and good lord when did fans become so expensive

Chicago needing points to stay in the race 🤝 Kansas City already clinching the shield and starting weird lineups for a couple weeks

Did the rapture happen yet??

Oh no I stayed up too late reading gay wrestling fan fiction what the fuck is wrong with me

WILD game

Watching this game knowing these are two of our opponents within the next 3 weeks and the chiefs are playing Like That

Omggggg lions

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Hey do we know what time the rapture is supposed to be bc I have to go turn in my rental and pick up my new car

Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.

I’ve been eating microwaved plastic my entire life and I’m supposed to be worried about Tylenol?

Will I ever not have a headache again?

Might consider enjoying the Buffalo Sabres if their goal song is Cascada tbh

Great now I’m annoyed that I usually just take ibuprofen

I have obtained an exclusive image of the ballon d’or criteria sheet

If the rapture happens tomorrow and I spent all of today at a fucking Mazda dealership I’m going to be so fucking mad

Temwa at 17 is LAUGHABLE

I’ve been doing car buying stuff all day so have missed everything but Temwa Chawinga is the best player on the planet and I would take her over anyone

The funniest part of this is I’m pretty sure it’s a real story but the actual person who did it is The Rock’s daughter

God we could be 2-4 by the time we get Rashee back

Oh fuck we face the ravens next week

Jaxson Dart you do not deserve the situation they’re about to put you in

Time to replace Harrison butker

bruh lmao

Patrick Mahones needs to go to the woods and enlist Aaron Dessner to help him get out of whatever is happening here

Watching my favorite football team play football makes me unhappy

I can tell you one thing for certain Carrie Underwood, I have never once been waiting all day for Sunday night

Weird Mood Sunday Night ACTIVATED!!!

All weekend I’ve been pretty sure I’m going to get a Mazda CX5 but my lesbian roots are now telling me to look at a Subaru Forester as well

Gonna be emo about Temwa and Vlatko forever

my girlfriend is an idiot

rams pls

57.6 - The Kansas City Current held the lead 57.6 percent of the time in the 21 matches it took them to clinch the #NWSLShield (1223 minutes, 43 seconds), while trailing for a total of just 65 minutes, 14 seconds. Leaders.

We 🩵 the squadron

Someone make sure she gets enough water because this much sodium can lead to issues if you’re not hydrating enough

gf got my hat

I had to make it my icon

Matching icons for you, your bestie, and that one person you hate

I need everyone to know that I was nearly as excited for them to announce Berman’s name so I could boo as I was about the shield because I am at my core a hater with a heart full of rage

Lo’s face lmfaoooo

The stories the NWSL leaves on the table to ask TM for the 1000th time if he bathes is such a fucking fumble.