This rapture needs more butthole.

*brings snacks to the rapture*

This rapture needs more butthole.

This ain't my first Rapture.

*brings snacks to the rapture*

because if i can't share it with you, it's almost like it didn't happen

There's always a rhyme and a reason

Silently sits in the Bluesky corner watching, but paying no attention.

Skeet like none of this matters.

Skeet like no one is paying you.

Skeet like no one is paying attention.

Skeet like no one is paying attention.

If nobody saw you eat it or skeet it, it never happened.

Everyone needs a sarcastic Canadian.

Everyone needs a sarcastic Canadian.

I’m only here to be the sarcastic Canadian of your dreams.

I’m only here to be the sarcastic Canadian of your dreams.

Damn boy, are you Monday? Because I’m totally dreading you.

Woke up sarcastic again.

Please don’t talk to me until after my Monday morning dread.

Please don’t talk to me until after my Monday morning dread.

I love the smell of coffee and dread first thing on a Monday morning.

I like to schedule in a good little cry on Monday mornings.

I should get to sleep. I have a long day of looking at my phone tomorrow

Get in losers, we’re celebrating the Sunday scaries.

*lips on mic* WELCOME TO THE SUNDAY SCARIES

Living my best life by being sarcastic as fuck.

If you're looking for low-budget posts, I'm here for you.

Butthole skeets for everyone. They're on the house.

I judge people by the quality of their butthole skeets.

I’m disappointed in the lack of butthole skeets this weekend.

Don’t talk to me, talk to my butthole.

Don’t talk to me, talk to my butthole.

If you have something to say about me, say it to my butthole.

waiter: How spicy would you like it? me: I want to be able to light a cigarette off my butthole. waiter: *fist bumps*

Pumpkin spice buttholes.

My spirit animal is a butthole.

My spirit animal is a butthole.

Smells like butthole spirit.

Smells like pumpkin spice spirit.

Smells like pumpkin spice spirit.

pumpkin spice mustache rides

She’s a 10 but her favorite restaurant is Applebees

She’s a 10 but she’s difficult.

*sitting on his face* Do you think I’m difficult?

Let’s make this difficult.

How far do I have to scroll to get to the good stuff?

*finger guns you with my middle fingers*