I’m team Bad Bunny.

I’m team Bad Bunny.

no, i will not be watching the super plate no habla sports

Which teams are playing at the Bad Bunny concert?

Which teams are playing at the Bad Bunny concert?

Big day for those who like to watch men play with balls & slap each other on the asses.

I’m too pretty for football.

Unless you live in Seattle or New England, no gives a fuck about this Super Bowl.

No one gives a fuck about the Super Bowl. There, I said it.

I don’t care about sports, yes that does include the Olympics.

[shows up to a Super Bowl party] So which CFL teams are playing?

I really hope that one CFL team wins the Super Bowl.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t care who wins the Super Bowl.

Woke up a hot mess again.

Hot messes are the best kind of messes.

hot messes followed here

I could be your next hot mess.

Your account is a fuckin mess. *followed*

Damn boy, are you my life? Because you’re messy af.

Damn boy, are you my life? Because you’re messy af.

Life is messy. So is your butthole. Do something.

“We blocked each other.” -A Bluesky memoir.

You know you’re winning Bluesky when you wake up to accounts blocking you.

That’s ok, I’d mute me too.

[during sex] Did you mute me?

If Bluesky is a dumpster fire my account is hot garbage.

if Bluesky is a candy store your account is the Necco wafers

If Bluesky is a dumpster your account is garbage.

If Bluesky is a dumpster your account is garbage.

If Bluesky is a wave pool your account is the bandaid at the bottom

Skeet like no one is reading them.

Skeet like no one is listening.

Go right ahead and honk your own horn. Nobody is listening anyway

I'm still on my free trial of Bluesky

Because I got out of bed, your honour.

Because I got out of bed, your honour.

I got out of bed. Please respond.

Fucked around (got out of bed) Found out (not worth it)

I’ll just answer that email after this coffee, and other lies I’m telling myself this morning.

I’m not the account you want but I’m the account you deserve.

If you’re looking for quality skeets you’ve come to the wrong account.

quality is always better than quantity

That’s ok, my posts don’t like you either.

That’s ok, my posts don’t like you either.

It’s ok if you don’t like my posts, I’ll be here all week.

I know you all secretly love my posts. Silence is just another form of admiration.