Meet me behind a dumpster and chill?

Meet me behind a dumpster and chill?

honestly there’s nothing fancy about meeting me anywhere

Not to brag but I don’t give a shit who likes my posts.

Happy Tacos and Tequila Day to all those who celebrate.

Happy Tacos and Tequila Day to all those who celebrate.

I’m eating tacos today incase I get into the tequila too early tomorrow.

Not to brag but I don’t give a shit who likes my posts.

My favourite thing about this website is that no one gives a shit about what I say, which is how it should be.

What’s a little teabagging between friends?

What’s a little teabagging between friends?

let me teabag you with some knowledge

Sorry I told you to shut the fuck up but it will happen again.

May the shut the fuck up be with you.

May the shut the fuck up be with you.

I’m not easy like Sunday morning. I’m stay in bed on Sunday morning.

Alexa, play thank fuck it’s the weekend.

Alexa, play thank fuck it’s the weekend.

I’m not easy like Sunday morning. I’m stay in bed on Sunday morning.

The Girl With Another Tattoo.

Sorry I’m late, I was busy getting a tattoo.

Some fettuccine alfredo will fix me.

Some fettuccine alfredo will fix me.

Imagine us sharing fettuccine alfredo like the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. Wrong. I never share food.

There was something in the air that night The stars were bright, Alfredo

is murder lasagna anything?

Live, laugh, lasagna.

Live, laugh, leftover pasta.

Sure sex is great but have you ever had lasagna for breakfast?

Sure sex is great but have you ever had lasagna for breakfast?

Normalize lasagna for breakfast.

How are there more than one infinity pools?

Not bragging but I’ve been told I get a special place in hell.

i’m trying to set a good example for the youths so tonight’s dinner is an energy drink and a cadbury egg

who else up eating discount easter candy for the end of the world?

Sorry I’m late, all the Easter chocolates were half off.

I kinda wish I cared more but I’m probably glad I don’t.

They really need to hire more for third shift Bluesky.

Might fuck around and send nudes.

Not to brag but all my nudes involve food.

I don’t send nudes but if I did I’d probably add a slide whistle sound effect.

I don’t mean to brag but I’m a lot more trouble than I’m worth.

[maintains eye contact while I eat a Cadbury Creme egg]

OnlyFans but it’s just me eating Cadbury Creme eggs.

It’s pretty rude no one painted my eggs for Easter.

Not now motherfucker, I’m posting stupid jokes on the internet.

I don’t care about follower count, I just want people to repost my stupid jokes.

I'm never going to run out of stupid things to say, so you might as well listen.

Hope someone is writing all this down, we could probably turn this shit show into a musical.

“He has risen!” -Jesus and boners everywhere.