good night to the girls as well as the girlies

what’s up with my girls on here tonight

what song should I sing at karaoke hurry

was going to take one of my famous — and beloved — bar bathroom selfies, but this bathroom doesn’t have a mirror. use your imagination!

I do need all of you to see Lisa Barlow singing Fiona Apple’s “The First Taste.” This is something I feel like you should see.

instagram prompts assume such bad intent. why would I lie about me in 2019. what would be in that for me

good morning

It’s Support You Saturday hey buddy I think ur gonna be alright

is anyone else On Here going to the yes sir party tomorrow night. if i see you I want to live up to my user name

i accidentally turned on the ipad back camera and i saw this view and i was like aw :-)

an edibles miracle: i found an unopened sleeve of thin mints in my freezer

watching the netflix frankenstein and my brain keeps expecting mrs. fish to show up any moment

sometimes I think I’m being annoying by interacting with your skeets too much so I will mute people but then I will forget that I muted them and then when I unmute them I interact with a bunch of skeets in a row, which is more annoying. does anyone understand where I’m coming from or are you normal

I still don’t know what Hyrox is and at this point I’m afraid to ask

well someone’s gotta go first and it might as well be me

In 1994 you could see Donny Osmond in a touring production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for $45 and now that won’t even get you the butthole serum they sell at my brow waxer

everyone gets so mad at the mods here for doing basic mod shit. sometimes you gotta make a little murder joke and eat a three day ban for it. that’s life baby, there’s beauty in that.

(tw: earnest) my mom died when I was very young and if I was raised believing that she was still alive inside a smartphone it is safe to say that, at best, I would be on a full time grippy sock vacation at this point. whoever is behind this needs a grief counselor and a permanent internet ban

I had to order more carpet cleaner (a specific one for a Bissell Little Green Machine) from A*****n and the items it suggested to “fill out your cart” were bulb douches, sage bundles, and Albolene

You may have seen that 600+ detainees are eligible for release, which is amazing! BUT: you may not know that immigration detainees still have to pay for their freedom-- $1500 bond per person! The Midwest Immigration Bond Fund is raising money to help people get free, please donate: www.mibfc.org

some good news!

please don't be mean to me today i'm too sleepy

me: [trying to fall asleep] my brain: talk about LENGTH talk about drama talk about STONES talk about comfort (so lightweight) J-427031 these are your red carpet linear drop earrings don’t you need a great statement earring oh yes ya do

wait toby was straight

I’d love to be having a slice of viennetta ice cream dessert tonight I can tell you that much

woman seen jaywalking while eating what appears to be crème brûlée…what’s her story

what is going on with everyone at the pharmacy these days. it seems like it should be pretty straightforward and yet so many are confused

any adobe software I am trying to use with any urgency whatsoever:

good morning everyone! let’s pull it together today

gagged by all the northern lights pictures. i didn’t see because i was looking at television, of course

this is what it would look like if i visited @thomcb88.bsky.social in prison and we were on those phones where there’s glass in between us

bronwyn always looks like she was dressed by l*w roach (derogatory)

A half dozen oysters and a glass of Rosé is an insane lunch

I believe Meredith

comparison is the thief of joy. but so many things on the internet are designed to foster comparison. and i love using the internet

ada forte, the gilded age, season 3 episode 6:

consistently so mad at the past me who mistakenly took preworkout and adderall far too close together in the morning and set a bunch of PRs that mortal me will not be able to match

this is actually true of just my brain all the time now. talk about drama

me: [trying to fall asleep] my brain: talk about LENGTH talk about drama talk about STONES talk about comfort (so lightweight) J-427031 these are your red carpet linear drop earrings don’t you need a great statement earring oh yes ya do

yes I did have to bust out the winter coat today but on the plus side it is equipped with a waist high side slit that allows for angelina jolie poses

they should invent a situation that improves

online is bad and real world is bad i must now retreat into my comfort listicle

I have recently learned that many gay people are into baseball, despite baseball having no cheerleaders or halftime pageantry. I believe this is due to the power of baseball pants in framing the butt. In this essay I will

They were never gonna issue certiorari to Kim Davis’s case. The hoopla over it was driven by engagement farmers like Brian Tyler Cohen vaguely rage baiting with tweets saying shit like “officially considering the case.” This was Davis’s 100 yard Hail Mary.

what’s going on with everyone today

things fuckin suck. But at least there’s a blizzard and it’s freezing

Senator Schumer has failed to lead this party in one of its most critical moments, and Americans will pay the price. It’s time for him to step down from leadership and make way for a new generation willing to fight for the people instead of the powerful.

if you genuinely think Schumer and Democratic leadership opposed this & Republicans coincidentally got exactly the number of votes they needed to avoid a filibuster and none of those votes are from Democratic Senators who are up for reelection in the midterms next year, I have a bridge to sell you.