I just think that sweaty balls

Got a ryze ad that said “do not buy ryze coffee” so i said “okay!” And blocked them instead

Someone got mad at me for pointing out the flaws in their argument after replying to a shitpost i made and then claimed i was bullying them but i had screencapped timeshots of the interactions

Hear me out: rugrats all grown up™️ for the belcher children so that it can run concurrently with bobs burgers

A consummate professional

The internet got worse when people started posting for follower/subscriber/viewership numbers instead of just documenting their extremely niche hyperfixations

My favorite part of sending an emotional text message is the 30-76 minute panic attack after

Once again thinking about how Enzo Matrix lost his innocence and childhood after losing both his home and his hero and literally grew up too fast and then helped raise a version of himself he never got to be

I know i could screen record these for a more native/less 70 year old printing out a pdf to fax it to someone but this is lazier and literally no one cares i love when things are zero stakes lmao

That dead inside froot looks familiar

I have learned where the voice of my inner critic comes from lmao

She wants to be on dancing with the stars soooooo bad. Cool love that you’re admitting you were wrong and naive - that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a deeply evil and hateful person. An apology tour is just a pr move to become the next bumbling talking head with a joe rogan partnership

The New York Times couldn't be bothered to investigate Trump's health or handling of the Epstein files but MGT redemption pieces are full steam ahead.

Gen Z men learning that voting for "I can say the r-word now" is perhaps less important than "I have no savings and I can't get laid."

Goals for 2026: -suck more dicks -be less depressed -get hotter -pick up a straight couple at a bar. Cuck the husband -learn to sew - become a mommy vlogger -more bouncing and moaning on it -get back to my vers roots -watch madame web at least once a quarter -learn how to be someone that gyms

I used to manage wine programs for movie theaters and I am in the extremely unique position to say with professional certainty that the answer here is a crisp Albariño.

Death note is so cool, i wish people facing consequences for their actions was real :/

Okay i’ll play but only for attention

Being home alone these past few days means i’ve been able to go something that i havent been able to do in YEARS since i started sharing a bedroom with charlie😈😈😈 i slept with the windows open

I think 2026 is the year i wanna start making my own clothes. Ive been looking for a skill or hobby, after all

“it is illegal for you not to like me”

I’ve been blocking so many advertiser profiles on instagram that now i’m being served ads from facebook accounts that dont have a native insta presence so i can’t block the account lmao

I think i managed to trade a used bottle of poppers for a like-new queen sized bed yesterday

Might fuck around and take a nap and by nap i mean go to bed at 8:15pm

Chapter titles of the memoir i’ll never write as i think of them:

Now that i’m gay married i’ve decided to lean back into my bisexuality

When I was at NBC Digital, there was a whole category of story we did that was basically surfacing local news coverage and advancing it. The entire news ecosystem is built on a pipeline of local and state coverage that increasingly does not exist.

Layering to stay warm

I love blocking millennials who post Harry Potter content

Mother

My life got worse when i didn’t go to my original dream school: ITT Tech

Woke up early enough to watch the sunrise over the lake with @tobyk.bsky.social and it was cloudy

Merry christmas from me and my new 25lb weighted blanket and ralphie’s daydream scene about his theme getting an a+++

I always hated a christmas story growing up but it was my sister’s favorite so we would watch it on the tbs marathon every year. So now i watch it because it reminds me of her so i dont hate it so much & also my favorite part of this movie has always been when ralphie beats the shit out of the bully

Locked IN.

I keep telling people i want to take my mom’s notebook of hand-copied recipes and transcribe them into a book while also cooking each one as i write it and they keep saying “oh like july/julia” and like… no… my name is david???

For the first time in my adult life i have woken up in my own bed on noche buena and it is both weird and beautiful and lonely and warm and vibey and bad at understanding when to use “both” as a qualifier

I don’t care about a vpn because every company has my data already anyway and my identity has been stolen like twice and i’m still standing so no i will not pay you $20/month so i can watch british netflix or whatever

*fuckboy voice* hi

I talked with the wonderful folks at Aftermath about the 34 Rockstar workers who were fired in what seems like a textbook case of what union busting looks like. It's bullshit, and it's nice to see the press cover this well. 5/ aftermath.site/grand-theft-...

Out of office is on until 2026 unless i log on tomorrow to send an email but other than THAT

I think? I have found a semblance of peace?

I like that i have tried making the internet a place i go and not a place i have to leave again. My crafts are all getting done so much quicker

Jack off all trades, masturbate none or whatever they say

Yes it popped back up this is such a bad ad for me for so many reasons lmao I am not a conversational podcast boy. Teach me about folklore, history, crafts, journalistic pieces, but i dont want to hear a conversation between you & your “friends”, esp as an obvious ad! I am a native english speaker

personally I love what Bari Weiss is doing at CBS. it has never been easier to tell my imposter syndrome to sit down and shut the fuck up.

One of the soapmaking microinfluencers whose youtube i accidentally started watching 3/4 years ago has recently gotten divorced and she is chronicling it on her Vlogmas and i realistically don’t care about her personal life (i only care about learning how to make stuff) but every so often i get nosy

What if i reject modernity and embrace tradition by stopping microblogging and start blogging/vlogging? I always say i could use a hobby and my short term memory is jacked and 2026 seems like a great time to dip my toes into this newfangled YouTube ive heard so much about

Special k red berries is the best cereal because whenever i eat it, i feel like a suburban mom with mostly functional disordered eating (but NOT an eating disorder, no mater what that bitch Brendan from the PTA says) giving myself a little treat