feeding the slop machine my drivers license so the slop machine can talk dirty to me

On Lt Columbo Day never let us forget the episode where Columbo explains to a fitness guru how Mrs Columbo is thick, that he likes her thick, and how he will do anything within his power to keep her thick

This Dominos is in an old Pizza Hut building 😭😭

The robots all “are you sure, that sounds hard?”

Are you a non-Black person pissed at Bluesky leadership and feeling a little jealous of all the good vibes coming from Blacksky? There are Blacksky adjacent options for you! Here’s info from the Blacksky migration guide! docs.blacksky.community/migrating-to...

Dog

adhd is funny as hell because at work when i have one project i loathe any interjections because i want to focus but if i have 30 projects i'm stoked to bounce between them. like brain what do you mean you can handle one thing or ten things but not two to nine things????

my fallback plan if this place fails is to lead a fulfilling life instead of posting

The Butlerian Jihad must have sucked for guys who just bought a new computer

I'm pretty critical of their comms in general, but they have talked about this

wait so the conspiracy is that content moderation is a play to train AI in a sneaky illegal fashion, taking an absurd risk in storing pre-moderation originals, and feeding them into a genAI model... for the purposes of capturing image data before it's posted unprotected to a public social network?

The sky is full of endless stars and we should all be looking at them like “wow” and then having a nice nap

BREAKING: Scientists have discovered some stupid shit. They were dripping little drops out of their fucking gizmos when they learned about it.

Laughing my ass off at the story of the girl who managed to successfully lie her way into yale only to get caught after her roommates got annoyed with her carrying on her long distance d/s relationship in the common room

everyone saying they’re leaving for threads or mastodon or whatever:

you have to imagine the power of flight would be at least as exhausting as jogging

*racking a shotgun as i grill my daughter’s date* do you have a podcast?

at church today the pastor read all of your posts out loud and then rebuked them in the name of jesus, just fyi

new profile picture

there is currently one (1) man i want to say he's awooga heart eyes about me on every picture i take

from the first time i did that (forgive me, i used the facial dysmorphia app for these)

also:

mowww

please it's so weird to go through all my selfies and tell me how hot i am on all of them. i know you think i'm hot, i understood you the first seven times you said it

it's. ahem. really good

coaxing your worst kinks out of you and using them against you. not in a blackmail way but in a "make you cum way too hard" way. like i'm almost looking at an involuntary manslaughter charge level way too hard

It’s 2037 and my microwave is prompting me to download the Hot Pocket Plus Pass for $9.99 a month

Didn't really take long for young men to figure out they're the ones on the menu, huh

etsy witches, i see what you’ve done for others… 🔮

somebody needs to learn a lesson from the episode of always sunny when they decide their bar doesn't need any rules

askig cop u got a permit for that steely gaze ?

laptops are kind of an underrated invention

the thing about fed-posting is that you're either a fed or a fool, and either way i'm blocking you

dude talks like AI

really enjoying all the people trying to explain the bible to the pope today

handing it to u, and by it lets just say.... my grenids

let the gourd times roll

Nature is crazy.

one thing that really kills my free time is looking up french words in the french dictionary. do they not understand i don’t know those words either

faulkner on hemingway: ernest does his reader the courtesy of never sending him to the dictionary hemingway on faulkner: oh bill. do you really think big feelings come from big words?

i forgot that people actually do this and now i'm really sad

actually it's ok to look things up in the dictionary instead of blaming the author for using a word you didn't know learning is good

Unlockable Tony Hawk character who's also in mortal kombat

Maslow's hierarchy of needs but at the top it's just being kissed on the forehead and told you're doing a good job 🥺

ttyl