BYE BITCH

Don't Look Up (2021) dir. Adam McKay

Here’s the thing, if we did something like this they would just turn on a gigantic electric wheel that gets rid of the extra electricity

I went to the dentist *and* costco today please clap

should not have taken my adderall *and* drank a large cold brew omg

it is truly so disgusting outside today (super windy and rainy) and it's killing my mood and almost all motivation. plus I checked the forecast and it's like 100% chance of rain for the next six days 😩😩😩

Liza Minelli has OUTLIVED Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney lived to see the Republican party totally adopt his entire worldview and philosophy about American military intervention, even after the catastrophe of Iraq completely repudiated it, but couldn't enjoy it because their avatar was too uncouth for his prairie taste.

There is someone roleplaying as Anthony Bourdain in #OVER/UNDER, just going around doing monologues in the various public spaces, and it's truly.... so good.

learning important things

No one should have to put up with this shit but in particular kids should not have to put up with this shit

went to the dentist this morning and the girl cleaning my teeth took so long she didnt finish before the dentist came in so now I have to go back next week for her to finish the cleaning wtffff?

how do i fucking get my cats to STOP EATING HAIR

Me and my friend Mackintosh Muggleton were on the way to Tesco for some Maltesers when, out of nowhere, some chavs nicked our wallets.

friday night after a week of soul crushing job searching: I made pumpkin oatmeal white chocolate chip cookies, @meatcastlegameware.com and I ordered a pizza and took some edibles

this cat is fucking perfect I swear to god.

ok i saw the thing that said prince andrew paid a peppercorn in rent and I thought it was a dumb british expression for some amount of money but now im learning he literally paid rent with one actual peppercorn what the fuck is going on over there

Absolutely flabbergasted to report that we have somehow eaten a 24h timeout for—something? we streamed during the 30 minutes we were live. Incredible! 1. Should be back by tomorrow, so assume next month's stream, etc, is still on 2a. We gotta watch this specific movie together ASAP somehow (1/?)

yyYello. Captain speaking. Our course to Parva Planum? Still on-schedule. As we exit Tharsis—seats on the right side?—lovely view of Olympus Mons. Just out the window. A reminder. The in-flight film? Tomorrow night—7:30PM—via www.twitch.tv/trashnightvi.... A can't-miss. Belts on for the snack cart.

this is really the healthiest way to engage with any media/pop culture.

and another thing: he’s not mad. please don’t put it in the newspaper that he got mad.

today's the day I officially get my master's degree can I get a hell yeah?!

I still think it'd be really fun if they made a separate edit of the traitors where they have the traitors record fake testimonials throughout (acting as faithfuls) and then you as the viewer get to play along & not know who the traitors are y'know?

she likes to spy on us while we're cooking

grumpy baby bathtime

i wanna know what the difference is between "never" and "no chance at all"

went out for a fancy anniversary dinner with my lovely husband @meatcastlegameware.com

drank a large cold brew & ate a donut and now i am Vibrating From Too Much Sugar

the plural of cutie patootie is cuties patootie

its me. I'm the jackpot

listening to the new taylor swift album and its so cringe omg

trying to hold off on turning on the heat for as long as I can...

job searching & very anxious about everything/life/future so pls send good vibes, I need em 🙏

On the Gaza flotilla live stream, one by one, boats are intercepted by IDF & blasted with water cannons until comms are jammed & the feed for each boat goes down. Israel is illegally kidnapping civilians on international waters, & they're preventing the world from witnessing.

we would like to renew our passports but are getting fucked over on two fronts: the canada post is on strike and the US govt is about to shut down lol fml

the new Mission Impossible is literally edited like Dora the Explorer for boomers

The plan: get Jimmy Kimmel suspended so his ratings would quadruple. People are more interested in shows they’re not allowed to watch. This also allowed me to manufacture the biggest First Amendment issue in decades.

Mr President, Sorry for the convenience.... 🔉

ridiculement bon

special place in hell for these sick fuckers

this is such a Veep-ass plotline

on a very special episode of mythbusters adam and jamie put this one to the test

living in canada makes me feel so unserious sometimes

it's 2011: I am 22. I am a poor college student. I am watching the daily show with jon stewart. it's 2025: I am 36. I am a poor college student. I am watching the daily show with jon stewart.

The loser energy that radiates off "it's illegal not to like me" shit like this is palpable bsky.app/profile/zack...

I hate my fucking next door neighbor and his fucking tesla that he blasts shitty music in while he sits in his driveway for >30 minutes every day.