No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum

RIP Lindsey Graham. Sorry you never got to play GTA VI.

Pepsi apologized for that post, and the illiterate dopes who misread it in the first place will not rest until Pepsi fires people because they cannot read

Threads is fascinating. Truly. There are thousands of people raging about this girlboss/wild child post from Pepsi.

A burglar checking the hollowed out space in my Bible and finding a smaller Bible

Look closely. Do you see it? This is not the same man.

No one’s willing to say it, but the Minions are Latino

They should make a Wolf Man movie about generational trauma and also he’d just kind of a hairy guy.

Do you think he's recording a response album? Maybe that's why he's reclusive

Ahh that explains it. Thanks AI.

no, you should not "do your own research." no you should not "challenge the narrative." watch 30 minutes of news sometimes and then hit the bowling alley. enough is fucking enough

I hate David Brooks so much, man.

Kind of thing you write in your notes app at 2:00 AM and have no idea why the next day.

mitch mcconnell just recited the entire bee movie from memory

Okay children your homework tonight is Phenomenology of Spirit. And if you didn’t turn in your Critique of Pure Reason book reports last week I need them tomorrow.

Deckbuilders have been the thing. Monster Train is the GOAT.

Receiving reports that Mitch McConnell has solved the puzzle of the LeMarchand Configuration and been pulled into a dimension where pleasure and pain blend to produce pure sensation.

I thought it might be fun to try and beat Dark Souls 2 with just one arm but then I remembered I’m still employed 🫤

playing hooky from a night of elite extravagance because gotham needed him, that's bruce wayne alright.

Here’s the message you need to beat into men’s heads to start fixing this: Do not wait until your partner asks you to do a chore to do it. If the dishes are dirty, clean them. If your attitude is “I would do any house work, she just needs to ask me” you are assuming that housework is her domain.

Any recommendations for games I can play with one hand on PlayStation or Steam Deck? Turn based, board games, visual novels all seem promising.

BREAKING: Sources close to Mitch McConnell have stated that he is alive and stable but has been sealed in the Black-Barbed Maze by the night hag Ravel Puzzlewell.

Lot of 20 year-olds about to get Wiley Coyote-esque injuries here.

Spain-Portugal in JerryWorld

That squirle was invited to the wedding ❤️

Broke my arm. 0/10 don’t recommend.

If you're not outraged, you should be

250 years ago, an unstoppable force was created. It would survive revolutions, inspire generations, and refuse to die no matter what hardships history threw its way. We rise this night and salute the Vampire Lestat. 🇺🇸

Trump is watching the Fox News feed of himself watching Fox News

All you winds, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Fire and heat, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Cold and chill, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Dew and rain, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Frost and chill,

The security guard at the door:

i can’t stop laughing at this

I hate, I despise your festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps.

Lol. Lmao

Is Trump really so weak that he’s going to let a little bit of frequent cloud-to-ground lightning stop him? I thought he could do anything?

I can’t help but think that Microsoft’s “Fire everyone who makes games and then end partnerships without outside companies that make good games” strategy might not pay off in the long term.

Has anyone who was on the SAVE plan for student loans actually been contacted by their loan servicer yet?

The coincidences go even deeper: Adams shot Jefferson in a theater and ran into a warehouse, Jefferson shot Adams in a warehouse and then ran into a theater.

How I’m trying to be tonight:

happy 4th of july, or as i call it:

Happy Fourth of July

celebrating the good parts of america today. if you don’t think there are any good parts, just look to all the stuff the fascists are desperate to stifle

the kelce bros tearfully disassembling their bunk bed

No way my five year-old just said “I need to confront you about something.”

Going to hang out with my German friend Nena. I hope we buy a reasonable number of luftballons and don’t accidentally start a nuclear war.

great america state fair just fundamentally doesn’t understand what a state fair is. state fairs are not grand celebrations of all that make us proud to be americans. they are lynchian phantasmagorias of family-friendly kitsch braided with licentious perversity and just a sprinkle of cosmic horror.