Please don't eat peanuts in front of the elephants. You're appropriating their culture.

Don’t talk to me or my bald little squire ever again.

No appointee of this administration even bothers to create the appearance of doing their job anymore, just openly serving as the president's personal apologist and attack dog. Completely illegitimate government

Masterful gambit, madame.

The FAA has grounded all flights into or out of El Paso (a city of 700,000 people) for the next ten days with no warning or reason given.

We are fully in the “give the president an iPad and leave him in the other room” phase of this administration.

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

I'm not kidding. www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

The thing these people don’t understand is that the Super Bowl halftime show is just a basic free market. Conservatives will never turn the Super Bowl off. Having Jason Aldean headline will bring zero new viewers in. Kendrick or Bad Bunny? That’s new viewers.

I watched the TPUSA halftime show. Kid Rock was in it for MAYBE one minute. He did part of Bawitaba, no attempt to hide it was lip synced. Also, I’m pretty sure his part was prerecorded? There were hard cuts before and after the tiny part he showed up in.

Elden Ring boss

Oh is the Super Bowl tonight? Sorry, I already have plans.

Here are my predictions for Kid Rock’s Super Bowl show: Kid Rock opens with the song “My Kind of Country” from his last album. I’m so certain of this that I would put money on it. He’s going to play himself as Kid Rock, beloved centrist.

You non-sports fans have to understand that for people who are really into pro football, today is basically their Super Bowl

*Punching through my neighbor’s window as they scream in terror* “Oh is there a sportsball game on tonight?”

He’s obviously dying, right?

This tweet has been an intrusive thought for years. Like, once a week at least I say these words to myself out loud for no reason.

When Republicans do it / When Democrats do it

I can’t believe Jelly Roll turned out to be a conservative. I expected more intellectual rigor and emotional intelligence from this man.

Shawty got that melancholic, contemplative disposition.

The Guy Fieri-ication of Fred Durst will be studied by historians for decades.

I’m dying to know TPUSA, an organization with infinite money, got stuck with Kid Rock for their half time show. Was Jason Aldean busy that night? Was Morgan Wallen not willing to say the n-word enough times?

I don’t know if people realize how bad Kid Rock has gotten in the last five years. If you haven’t kept tabs on Kid Rock, it’s so much worse than you’re expecting:

Yeah no shit

From: Elon Musk To: Montresor Heyy Monty, can I come check out that amontillado this weekend? 👀 From: Montresor To: Elon Musk I’m just like super busy this month

Some of our “cult priestesses” at the new Asherah Pole that includes my dark incantations for the Emperor and His Queen Consort! @Molech @Chemosh

charlie brown once had hoes or should i say, they once had him

I’m sorry but nobody does it like Nick Adams. Hang this up in a museum.

I have a new thesis on how TikTok is affecting Gen Alpha. People say that it’s killed their attention span, but I don’t think that’s quite right. The older end of Gen Alpha are the reason every YouTube video now is 16 hours and called like “The Downfall of Mr. Shit.”

xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government

May as well dive right in. Did you know that dogs in ancient Mesopotamia also refused to drop the ball? According to a Sumerian proverb, “The dog understands ‘Take it!’ It does not understand ‘Put it down!’” Source: cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/34...

Hey this is my bad, I’m the one that ticked it forward. I was just kind of playing with the dial on the back, didn’t mean to scare anyone.

You KNOW this moron has been workshopping that stupid line for weeks.

JD Vance Places Candle Outside Hooters Where ICE Agents Were Heckled

Gregory Bovino has been removed from his role as Border Patrol “commander at large” and will return to his former job in El Centro, California, where he is expected to retire soon, according to a DHS official and two people with knowledge of the change.

I don’t think a Clickhole bit has ever gotten me as much as this one:

"I hear the anger from my constituents" <- CALL YOUR ELECTEDS