I am like roadkill

The internet has taught me a lot about psychology for example being anxiously attached is when you get too excited and act like a freak and the cure is living a life devoid of pleasure

I want to be a life coach for hedonism

Sry guys white people get agitated when its over 80 degrees

I would rather take a private jet than drive 18 minutes

Asking a guy with a tesla if he is an ipad baby

Telling my uber driver who drives a tesla that if he drives a tesla he is gay

okay jesus christ calm down, I was just asking

i am of the opinion that one should never use a single word when 10 will suffice

the building smells very pungent and there aren’t many people around anymore

the google headquarters has a bunch of rooms where you can beat off to pornography in a beanbag chair for 9 hours a day

In a perfect world, I would be a complete monster

pretty sure one of my cats is nonbinary

The concept of a mentally stable Virgo

Jody from bluesky murdered my grandfather

Its so charming when my mom gets worked up and calls her younger sister a cunt

In this life i am simply banking on my old ass shooters being terrible at social media

Sociopaths are very intelligent people so you can usually lead them in the right direction and make them come correct

guys im very sorry to hear about your grandparent passing

I thought i was a 23 year old genius

Wow swearing. Are you okay? Do you need help? Does your family know you're off your meds?

Whitman was wrong about death. The body is not the soul.

Telling my boss that I’m a jury of his peers and sentencing him to death

Wait guys nevermind i want to be a Roman Emperor with his thumb down sentencing someone to death

Don’t remember tweeting this

Describing any death in my family as “just like kurt cobain”

r/oldpeople …. Are you guys afraid of death?

Death doesn’t scare me, the only thing that scares me is being real

Guys please pray for selena gomez after the death of her beloved husband charlie kirk

Death and taxes are ruining my life

LOL

(Comforting you after the loss of a loved one) death is crap

I would never give my dog a magic mushrooms chocolate bar. I wouldnt want her to get ego death

Guys i have experienced death and rebirth many many times. Please be patient with me

Death is exhilarating

Makes so much sense

Sagittariuses are very sexually exillerated by displays of antisocial behavior. I’ve noticed that

Antisocial in the capacity of being anti society kinda checks out bc ppl talk about thinking ur above the law and it’s like yeah , i do think that

when he doesn’t flush and your poops get to play together 🩵

Narcissists are so cool i love them. Especially the Latina ones with fake limps

I will suck it but I won't swallow.

Using a gallon of soap to wash my hands

i will never take a plane if i could take a boat or a train. not for any environmental reasons i just think travel should be slow and laborious and soaked in an introspective melancholia that our current high speed world has robbed from us

been noticing a lot of numbers today

Saying brb to my family at my grandpa’s funeral and going shopping at whole foods

Flushing a different toilet than the one i just used to gaslight people in the bathroom

Lots of fat white people out today

throwing my socks off the balcony onto the people on the street below