stinky butthole fingers

You’re supposed to wash your hands after you use the bathroom because, if you are doing it properly, your hands will become completely covered with pee afterwards

washing my hands before i go pee

Im so hungry i could have sex with 100 horses

You are kurwa so stupid.

Im so hungry i could have sex with a horse

*me, on a first date, before we have ordered* it is interesting how some animals consume their own young, is it not?

fuck bro im exhausted ive been up since 11:30 this morning

recently stopped taking the meds the doctor prescribed me and started smoking copious amounts of weed again and it’s amazing how much better my mood and general bearing have improved

otis redding sitting on a cock cause I’m gay

i want my boobs to become fatter and larger

my gynecologist told me to kill myself

gynecologist who refers to it as your cunt

gynecologist who calls it your gash

more like astrolabia am I right ladies? #MaritimeNavigation

i am pimp and swag also. this is an indisputable reality of the world we inhabit

what did you say i cant speak french

my sister introduced me to someone at her wedding and told me we would be so cute because we are exactly the same but that it would never work because we are both too difficult and impossible to please

honestly guys there is way too much sex on tv

i want a sea burial and a 21 cannon naval salute i think that is a very swag way to be buried

My life is so unfair i have the hardest life of anyone who has ever lived

i literally forget who the president is until I log onto this website not a big deal irl

i am scared

Forgot how annoying this place is

Les papillons sont incroyables! 🦋🩵

Je ne tweeterai plus qu'en français désormais

lets touch sacks

I was up until 6am pickpocketing people in assassins creed 2

my sexuality is appreciating beauty in all its aspects

this world is a carcass bro, he who seeks it is a dog

i pledge allegiance, to the swag

the type shit i'm on ain't even been invented yet. like i been on nothing dude

Like and retweet if you are under attack!!

my most delusional belief is that i think i could probably take two bullets to the back of the head and be fine. not 3 though.

I dont consider our civilization to have reached modernity until they started to put flashlights on the cell phones

𝘌𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯, 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴, 𝘫𝘶𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘭𝘦 (1613); the only surviving work of Johannes van der Beeck, accused in his day of heresy, blasphemy, atheism and satanism. It was only rediscovered in 1913, serving as the lid of a raisin-barrel in a grocery shop in the eastern Netherlands

@support.bsky.team using this website made my phone so hot that it exploded and blew both of my hands off like a landmine is that normal and okay

was drinking the other night with these people i met at the hotel and we were sitting outside and there was a bear in the dumpster and we were all yelling at it and this one girl ran up and smacked the bears butt as it was starting to run away lol it was pretty funny

i went to prison for peeing my pants

i am a goated young lady

bunnies got no reason for those big ass ears bro

verify that you are human bro please bro just one puzzle just tell me that you are human please bro

Take a chance on Abby!

sweet n low tastes disgusting like something they would force feed captured pilots in korea to break their spirits

sprinkling the excess sugar from a empty bag of candy into my tea this is what my life has come to now

having tea or as the french call it the

using google translate to cheat at duolingo for 5 years and learning absolutely nothing

(Uses my telekinesis to throw the bluesky servers across the room destroying the website forever)

these hoes is feckless