hitting a meth pipe and blowing the smoke into an unconscious persons lungs as a form of CPR

hyperventilating into a paper bag for fun

powerade is narsty it is demonic

A tweet can be a lover… or a knife.

simply laffing

genuinely surprised to be honest

10,000 years of liberalism.

Its a hungarian rhapsody no. 6 in d flat major type of day ngl

listening to the cumtown bit about stav getting raped by children on my speaker on the train

SIR I AM FEELING ZOINKED SIR

Watched a YouTube documentary about Stephen paddock yesterday and the narrator kept on praying to God during it

pirates arent real bro theyre like mummies

you guys are the male loneliness epidemic

I’ve been wiping my ass without a podcast playing lately like a zen master

jess reign of terror

the moon is telling me to do credit card fraud

hanging out with my baby friends we are rating our favourite choking hazards

why are they called choking hazards what does that mean

Pete davidson has died horribly from a gross disease

Telling my boss that his customers are all ratchet

bro do you mind if i just hit this bong as hard as i can repeatedly throughout the conversation

playing with a piece of string and laughing the hardest i have ever laughed in my entire life

come closer my darlings…

Getting in the elevator and sending it down to the lobby. Not my problem.

killing myself the first night my new roommates move in

Just ripped open a bag of edibles with my teeth on the metro north

Guys its so fucked that he stole my tweeting format for his emails ..

Throwback

this is all happening because i stopped drinking ginseng tea

I'm not religious but if uve ever eaten pork ur going to hell

I have thoroughly investigated myself and found myself guilty of multiple instances of wrongdoing. I hope this settles the matter. Thank you and have a pleasant evening.

This exchange happened on 9/11......

one of the greatest tragedies is how eating candy rots your teeth but you need your teeth to eat candy. Life is rather cruel, is it not?

I would trade my teeth to be able to eat unlimited candy

cleansing the timeline with camellias 💮

oh my gosh guys i wm sleepy

do you like my socks your honor? they have slutty hentai girls all over them

i fear i have come down with consumption again

Wearing my sweatshirt that says los angeles on the front so everyone knows im a faggot

my boyfriend and I spotted you from across the bar; how much are you willing to sacrifice to make your dreams come true?

you guys dont like my tweets because you are scared of getting attached to me due to the fact that one day i will die but fear not, I do not plan on dying any time soon

You are all strangers

accusing a stranger of bathing in diarrhea

T-shirt that says “keep away i am having a mental illness problem“

i come in peace bro

(very self-confident voice) the internet works exactly like international waters, all crimes are legal here

i could learn levitation

phone gets so hot sometimes that i cannot hold it is it normal