The only hot honey I care about is MY WIFE

I’m sick of hot honey. I’m so fucking sick of it. Leave these bees alone.

My friend sent this to the group chat. In Cisco’s defense, it is great if you want to time travel 12 hours through The Halls Of Darkness and see the true face of the devil and wake up in your backyard with bloody knuckles and someone else’s puke on your shoes

My friend sent this to the group chat. In Cisco’s defense, it is great if you want to time travel 12 hours through The Halls Of Darkness and see the true face of the devil and wake up in your backyard with bloody knuckles and someone else’s puke on your shoes

Here are the top five NFL uniforms OF ALL TIME In a normal thread. With numbers that work. I think. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Here are the top five NFL uniforms OF ALL TIME In a normal thread. With numbers that work. I think. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Did I screw up this thread again? Yes I did. I own that. When my wife wakes up I will ask her how to start a new thread for the top five. I apologize for my hubris.

I spoke to my wife last night about how to do a thread like an adult so the numbers don’t come out every which way. I think I got it. Here in this thread I will rank the top 10 best NFL uniforms of all time, and I won’t screw it up and I won’t be crazy and I will include photographic evidence.

This is the thread. Make sure to bookmark it to discuss with your friends and neighbors and Bible study groups later: 32. Baltimore Ravens: an absolute dogshit donut. That purple? Black? Weird number shapes? And the shield? And the weird bird? Grow up. An embarrassment on every level.

This is the thread. Make sure to bookmark it to discuss with your friends and neighbors and Bible study groups later: 32. Baltimore Ravens: an absolute dogshit donut. That purple? Black? Weird number shapes? And the shield? And the weird bird? Grow up. An embarrassment on every level.

I need to make a thread of posts that literally no one will care about, but I must get it out of my head. I must rank all 32 NFL team uniforms from worst to best. I need to do this because I am right and I have the Mandate of Heaven and baby Jesus.

I met Dan Ackroyd at a liquor store. I asked him “why would Elwood Blues select a Ford LTD for the new Bluesmobile when the 94 Chevy Caprice 9C1 is better in every way?” He looked me dead in the eye and said “Ha. It looked weird.” A king.

I met Dan Ackroyd at a liquor store. I asked him “why would Elwood Blues select a Ford LTD for the new Bluesmobile when the 94 Chevy Caprice 9C1 is better in every way?” He looked me dead in the eye and said “Ha. It looked weird.” A king.

This is the Vichy Leftist Elite Class explaining to La Résistance that they should stay home and work on their croissant recipes.

Current mood: listening to every version and cover of Atlantic City on Spotify just to feel something

Navy peacoat, tweed sport jacket, sweater, denim shirt with a tie under a sweater, jeans, hiking boots, aviator style eyeglasses, and a Doxa Sharkhunter dive watch on a leather strap. Can’t touch this outfit because it will burn your fingers

One last thing, if you can find this on a pirate channel, The Hot Rock is a caper movie based on a Donald Westlake book with a Bill Goldman screenplay. It’s basically Ocean’s 11 but with dirtbags and it’s a hidden masterpiece and I love it so very much

One last thing, if you can find this on a pirate channel, The Hot Rock is a caper movie based on a Donald Westlake book with a Bill Goldman screenplay. It’s basically Ocean’s 11 but with dirtbags and it’s a hidden masterpiece and I love it so very much

Navy peacoat, tweed sport jacket, sweater, denim shirt with a tie under a sweater, jeans, hiking boots, aviator style eyeglasses, and a Doxa Sharkhunter dive watch on a leather strap. Can’t touch this outfit because it will burn your fingers

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, The Sting, All The President's Men, Three Days of The Condor, and The Natural are all warm blanket movies for me. Sleep well, Robert Redford, even though you were an asshole to William Goldman.

Pete Carroll is a 9/11 “truther.”Tom Brady demanded the Raiders hire a 74 year old conspiracy uncle as their head coach, and they did. And I’m sick of every single thing being a fucking disaster if you scratch the surface even a little bit.

You see that commercial for ICE during Monday night football? So their recruiting demographics are degenerate gamblers over 40, citizens of Tampa, and people who don’t think Buck and Aikman are annoying? Sounds about right.

This is evergreen. Except that everything is much worse and he wants to do much less

chuck's gotta go, man just can't even pretend to meet the moment we're in, you cannot be out there talking about bipartisan funding for the health care system when the VP is threatening your constituents with loss of employment and freedom for speaking their minds in public

That’s how Houdini died. Fingers crossed!

That’s how Houdini died. Fingers crossed!

The Steelers organization ran cover for a serial rapist for years and brought in the dumbest Cal grad in history to play QB this season. They deserve to lose every game in the most embarrassing ways possible, now and forever.

I love boxing. TKO and Netflix are going to revive it and I hate every single thing about everyone involved with that and how they’re going to do it. I hate boxing.

Yeah I guess I’m cool with Target and Walgreens getting spontaneously de-stocked as opposed to the having to join The First New England Irregulars and having to engage in a struggle to the death with Johnny Reb.

Made the mistake of going on Facebook. I’m seeing multiple truly stupid people posting some version of “there was no riots and looting, just people mourning!” Motherfucker, every Nazi on Twitter wanted civil war.

Made the mistake of going on Facebook. I’m seeing multiple truly stupid people posting some version of “there was no riots and looting, just people mourning!” Motherfucker, every Nazi on Twitter wanted civil war.

Me at 11:56PM Eastern Standard Time on a Sunday night yelling to my wife about fascism

Kash and Bongino in Utah right now

I just described Romeo Dobbs as wearing “the great gazoo helmet.” The Great Gazoo was a magical alien sorcerer with a doomsday weapon who showed up on The Flintstones periodically to terrorize two cavemen, and make Wilma think Fred was schizophrenic.

Damn right I back the blue. And by that I mean the United States Postal Service. Even more specifically, the six foot goth girl mail carrier I just saw walking her route.

Maybe making every FBI agent in the country walk a beat in DC to rough up brown people wasn’t the smartest move

Send him to prison. Send all of them to prison. You can legally arrest more than one pedo at a time, no matter what Fox News and the NYT says. It’s not an either or situation.

In the book and movie Primary Colors there’s a big plot point about the Bill Clinton character raping a 17 year old girl. This motherfucker has been on the lamb in public for thirty years.

FDR served American voters one spoonful of socialism and they elected him President four fucking times. Not one person in the Democratic party learned anything from that in the last 80 years.

FUCK THE RAVENS FOREVER

Damn right I back the blue. And by that I mean the United States Postal Service. Even more specifically, the six foot goth girl mail carrier I just saw walking her route.

My iPhone was like “do you want to look at some pictures you took of the cat?” Sure. Why not.

Other than the Brazilian crowd booing a lovely version of the US national anthem, this YouTube nfl game is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Then Mr Beast showed up to tease a ritualistic murder at halftime and it got way worse.

I’m so mad about the YouTube NFL pregame show that’s set up like a fake podcast for no reason. No gods, No chains, No influencers.

Other than Cam Newton dressed like a cowboy magician, I hate this YouTube NFL pregame show so much I want to bit my own face

Be safe, everyone. Know your rights: www.nilc.org/wp-content/u...

My iPhone was like “do you want to look at some pictures you took of the cat?” Sure. Why not.

Every headline now is exactly what you’d see in the opening exposition of a dystopian post apocalyptic movie, and I think that great for my mental and physical health.

"I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast for I intend to go in harm's way." - Captain John Paul Jones Happy NFL kickoff. Our long national nightmare is over. Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.