I'm trying to finish my grimoire, but I am running out of blood

Air travel shrinks ur penis

Irish bar called O’Gooner’s

Tufted Titmouse Feeling kinda cute...

Mourning Dove A quiet confidence...

Winter floral Wintry rose...

A little playful chasing...

if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now

skippers bedtime! he got milky now say goodnight

drinking one of those potions that the Witcher drinks to get stronger before a fight

impatiently waiting for the crab rangoon and fried rice delivery like

when it rains mashed potatoes, catch you a pot full and turn it into sheppards pie

riding a leaf to work

it’s once again #ThickTrunkTuesday

a mage is playing with his orbs

How im logging in every day to post random shit over here from now on.

every breath you take.. every move you make.. i'll be squatchin you

deglove that chicken from popeyes

I'm not a pokemon series fan, do any of the tv shows have pokemon characters that have pet names given by their owners, that aren't just the name of their species?

elon musk announces that by 2036 the strippers will actually love you

It is Tuesday my dudes

😋

most traffic can be avoided if people knew how to drive correctly

i have maybe one or two good posts in me a week, but dozens of award worthy farts

The deepest conversations I've had in life have been with myself.

A coworker says “Great Morning” instead of “Good Morning” and I feel like that should be a fireable offense.

I just got 86'd from Horton's. Fuck my gooner chungus life.

logging on

i love this game @pixelthegnome.bsky.social

oh SHIT

Sometimes a sticker stays up much longer than you could have ever imagined and you walk by it and you are delighted.

snoop dog bot followed me 🤣

I’d like to think my coworkers would tell me if they had invaluable deposits of ambergris forming in their digestive tracts

HUNTING SEASON: Local curmudgeonly old man Long Richard shot a floatin' figure outta the sky this afternoon, describin' it as a-glowin' an' a-talkin' 'bout the universe bein' made o' love an' light. It proceeded to scream an' holler somethin' fierce as it bled an' crashed to the ground in a fireball

LOCAL: Yer two days ride southa Varmint Vale when ya come across a lone skeleton standin' in the wastes, peerin' fixedly at a pile o' rubble centuries old. "Can't figure out which I want!" The skeleton explains thoughtfully, "Gotta choose the ripest banana!" Ya rode on. He'll be there a while yet.

Sad story.

adventure tiiiime come on, grab ur friends we'll go to very distant lands with the skip the onlline racoon and didi pickles the fun wiilll never end it's adventure TIME!

Creating hairy pears

I heard ur dad got whiskey dick from a nonalcoholic beer

robot

verlander slander ✅

I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.

1 trillion Canadians

Good morning and happy #ThickTrunkTuesday

Best thing about having a key to the shop is when my insomnia is bad I can just start my day and get it over with

🎶 the cum police the live inside of my head the cum police they cum to me in my bed the cum police they’re cumming to arrest me, oh no 🎶

"Sign says DRUGs, I really thought I could buy a dime bag of heroin inside"

Oh your signature emphasises your name with a series of exaggerated loops and flourishes that’s nice. Mine is a squirmy little line