“Like that candle cove story but with way more sonic the hedgehog porn” -Don

I’m not going to quote post this. The reply is a boring wokescolding with heavy use of the “so you hate waffles” logic and attempts to villainize the act of making fun of evil people. Its not content that I would engage with, even as a troll.

Letter of recommendation from Mother

Hey Siri, where can I buy garlic butter vape juice?

Its a lot easier to light a joint when the worlds on fire

Putting coconut in soda doesn’t make it “dirty” stfu

The first baseball player to slide into home plate didn’t have any trouble getting laid I’ll tell you that much.

I love you like a dog love cheese

“Be a simple kind of man. Be something someone will understand. Be a simple man. Do this for me son if you can.” -Lynyrd 19:73

Good morning circus fans!!!

We should do vines on bluesky. Oh wait. Typos. We should do LINES of COCAINE

Jerry is like the Herobrine of BlueSky

A 2 liter of Josta would fix me

Has anyone called the president “girth vader” yet? Someone send it to Colbert.

No matter how long I rest I cant seem to recover any of my spell slots.

Welcome to my TED talk. Today we will be discussing the similarities between the movie Morpheus and the Trump Presidency. As you know america demanded more Morphin time in theaters even though the movie was objectively terrible we see… ::10 more hours and Spiderman does not show up once here either:

Yeah, he is a samen staan

Pretty sure its time to share the good word of our other savior Goku with my son

Maga out there trying to get Berdetta banned from wii sports

Broke: Birdo is trans Woke: Birdo is her deadname. Its Berdetta or Cathy. Don’t screw it up again.

That frogs tiddies is too high

I was raised in southern culture on conservative beliefs and just becoming an adult when the Tea Party entered the scene. They did not believe in any of the things I was raised to and when they became the party I left. Spent exactly 1 year apolitical b4 life taught me the empathy I was missing.

Heartbreaking to learn that Flavortown is on Epstein Island.

The pope claiming not to be a politician is fuckin rich. Pull the other one.

Doordash: here is a woman who is elderly but forced to work because her husband is sick. One of the richest men on earth who has the power to give everyone healthcare and it wont cost him a dime: “excellent, have her bring me a burger and I will give her $100”

Some of my best early memories are hunting down obscure media. It took me 3 years to find Battle Royale on dvd. It took me 10 to find a copy of Einhander. Now we have the internet.

That slut looks like she sailed the seven semens

Found it!

Good morning to my favorite son!

Beach haven aint my home

Art

Should we flood the internet with Obama Jesus images, since its cool now? No one cares.

Hilarious talking point “when people posted obama as jesus no one cared” 1. Obama didnt personally post that 2. Some one cared. Some one loudly cared. It was the people now saying “no one cared”. They cared. They cared so hard.

Just saw an AI slop post so bad I blocked someone for reposting it and thought about leaving social media forever.

*Soros organization has taken over bat'leth matches

*Soros organization has taken over blitzball

*Soros organization has taken over pod racing

People aren’t writing enough songs about the importance of dancing

Good morning Neighbor!

Once I ate $100 worth of Taco Bell and survived.

The existence of the Matterhorn implies the existence of the anti-matterhorn.

Someone could probably make a good joke about how penis sounds like peanuts. I tried but I’m too high.

This man has no dick.

I was really hoping to have run into a sexy vampire who would give me the curse of life eternal in exchange for my acceptance of their messy drama by now and I dont have a plan B.

My goto when someone threatens to “kick my ass” or even kill me is something like “lots of people could kick my ass, thats not impressive”

I sure do love complaining. I could sit and complain all day. And theres so much to complain about. And its free! Complaining is great.

I had sour patch kids for breakfast! Pic unrelated. Good morning!

Good morning picky eaters!

Not enough people are getting kicked in the dick

Sorry about what I posted. I was hungry and horny at the time.