🧀🧀 BIG CHEESE 🧀🧀
@big-cheese.bsky.social
📤 675
📥 558
📝 3527
taking a cheese whiz
calling the first base coach a virgin
2 days ago
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when I was writing jokes for Carrot Top I gave him a briefcase full of canned meat and told him to say he is looking for an email and then open up his 'spam folder' and a picture of a dick would fall out and then he'd say well I guess it went to my 'junk email'
3 days ago
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wearing a fedora to my arraignment and a 3 wolf shirt full howling moon style peeking just barely over my trenchcoat collar, vibing on pure logic as my haters self immolate
4 days ago
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you don't miss slime until it's too dry for slime and then you pine for slime and then you slime your pine pining for slime
4 days ago
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I was having Suicidal Tendencies so I decided to see Great White live
5 days ago
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would you rather lick a public toilet seat or snort a line of fire ants and yes your naked parents are watching you
9 days ago
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waterbeds keep me from getting up in the middle of the night to pee since I can just roll over and top it off
9 days ago
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Cruella de Vil also had a lab coat
10 days ago
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best part of flying a kite is the tug. if you know you know
10 days ago
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arm wrestling a photosensitive orphan at high noon
10 days ago
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I'd consider bowling a perfect game to be knocking down 4 cans of opened stale ginger ales with a dropped remote
11 days ago
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having good soil is important if you think one day you'll have to dig your own grave
11 days ago
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watching season 3 of One Punch Man is like checking out one of these book/cassette combos from the library as a kid
12 days ago
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any pork chop can be bone-in if you hand it to me
12 days ago
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and this is our niece Ballgag Pattycake, she's allergic to super collider interactions that don't promote higgs boson zero spin
18 days ago
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wheelchair backflip seems like a good way to end up in a wheelchair
18 days ago
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tommyknockers are a type of fartknocker but not all fartknockers are tommyknockers
18 days ago
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Thurston Moore after eating pretzels
18 days ago
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'lederhosen' is how you say goodbye at a German strip club
18 days ago
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snooch that taste like a church basement hotdog
25 days ago
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boomerangs are frisbees for lonely folks
25 days ago
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lunar megafauna is some of the biggest cheese around so I had to hunt them all to extinction
about 1 month ago
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thinking of starting a rec league Peenies association, anybody wanna join ??
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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gumby jerkin off while his gummy worm and arm keep getting longer as he pulls
about 1 month ago
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selling a conjoined twin sized bed that's shaped like a ' Y '
about 1 month ago
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the Lesser Antilles have definitely got some form of inferiority complex
about 1 month ago
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Ghost Rider is the hottest leather daddy
about 1 month ago
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particles don't intimidate me but some railroad genius says they should so who knows
about 1 month ago
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everybody's connected when a bobsled is involved. don't trust the autopsy
about 1 month ago
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they clapped when you were airlifted outta prison. they wept when you found a hidden dimension. dang ole duality of man, man
about 1 month ago
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sea turtles actually love plastic six pack rings on account of the auto erotic asphyxiation. how you think the ocean got salty ??
about 1 month ago
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they caught aliens smooching on the moon and they was just wearing 1 big shirt
about 1 month ago
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my Wiping With Christ coloring book has been translated into more than zero languages. that dog got skinny ankles, that dog gonna stumble
about 1 month ago
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every person on earth can trace their lineage back to an old wooden ladder
about 1 month ago
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I want to freaky friday with a teenager so Seinfeld can take me to prom
about 2 months ago
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sneaking a tiny cake inside a regular cake for my girlfriend in prison
about 2 months ago
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ballot initiative to rename Wednesday to 2sday for double the taco deals per week
about 2 months ago
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I'm making you a stretcher out of your own bones
about 2 months ago
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girl is your daddy a small gas engine cause when I think about you I want two-stroke
about 2 months ago
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CeeLo is the opposite of Hi-C
about 2 months ago
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a nuke that gets goldfish pregnant instead of inspiring kaiju
about 2 months ago
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before ben franklin invented electricity lightning was made out of beef stew
about 2 months ago
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none-Chuck
2 months ago
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James Van Der Beak dies in a bar before paying. The bartender yells for help and Van Der Beak's ghost rises from his body and says 'don't worry, put it on my bill'
2 months ago
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I don't think he's such a bad guy, he has a really good heart. It's in great shape from all the murdering he does
2 months ago
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I used to shoot BB's at the jerk neighbor buzzing around in an ultra-light but it turned out to just be a wheelchair guy and I have ground-level blindness
2 months ago
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breakfast lunch meat for dinner was your mom's nickname in wizard school
2 months ago
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getting snooch from a magic houseplant
2 months ago
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please, Whopper is my father. I'm Whopper Jr
2 months ago
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front wedgies on girls are called hedgies
2 months ago
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