Happy Titan submarine day to all who celebrate. Gonna have me a Big Sandwich today if you'd care to join me

yeah i read theory

Nice argument, too bad I've already imagined myself as the nonchalant dachshund and you as the relentless bird

b-52s rock lobster voice: cum dumpster

@scoobydouchebag.bsky.social You have broken containment

chatting with the spirits via barbie ouija board

“Mind if I have a dog?”

Y'all mind if I have a dawg about it?

uhhmm okay well you can't post on a child so write that one down npr

I'll kill myself in front of you if you add me to a group chat

Honest Abe fucking loved a head punt

Presidents and their opinions on the upcoming UFC match at the White House, a vibe based thread by me based upon half remembered fragments from history class: Washington: for Adams: against Jefferson: vehemently for Madison: for Monroe: for Adams the lesser: vehemently against

Cat, dog, miniature cow

3 years ago today! That's Tomi crawling over his brother and sister there on the right

alien vs predator,, the musical

Having to meet with HR for calling pictures of my coworker's newborn "infantslop"

What am I doing with my life scoob

My wrench slipped and I punched myself in the face and gave myself a bloody nose I'm the coolest

Having to meet with HR for calling pictures of my coworker's newborn "infantslop"

Scoob mentioned on The Boys

Amy Winehorse: "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said neigh, neigh neigh."

Jane Austen America Book. In June. 🤝 Pride & Prejudice

ITS TOMI AND TOKI TUESDAY!

Yeah I'm bisexual I wanna fuck Bigfoots and draculas

Hell yeah I'm bisexual I wanna fuck Gritty and Mrs Met

single and ready to mingle my flesh with that of another being's so that we create a sloppy flesh soup of cronenbergian proportions

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And hamburger to help before I sleep, And hamburger to help before I sleep.

Tomi's birthday is Friday he'll be 3 here he is at 2 hours old, 3 weeks, and today

If women are so hot why can’t I get off to any statues of them

Pretending to take a shit at work contains 60mg of protein

Abraham. Do you help your hamburger at us, sir? Sampson. I do help my hamburger, sir. Abraham. Do you help your hamburger at us, sir? Sampson. [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay? Gregory. No. Sampson. No, sir, I do not help my hamburger at you, sir, but I help my hamburger, sir.

throwback thursday

One guy lip synching is known as a Millus Vanillus.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And hamburger to help before I sleep, And hamburger to help before I sleep.

pov: you opened the gate of my enclosure

Gonna make another big sandwich for dinner I guess you could say I own the meats of production

Got my long socks and short pants ready for dilf summer

It’s time for dilf summer” I say as I wonder who's been touching the fucking thermostat

“colonel, we’re getting earnest replies to this shitpost at a volume never before seen—the joke is being misunderstood by a ‘joined Nov 24’ account at a rate of one every one-trillionth of a second and climbing exponentially. we could be witnessing the start of a cosmic posting singularity!”

@scoobydouchebag.bsky.social it's gonna be a good summer

It’s kinda crazy to neuter a pet. On the one hand, you don’t have to worry about him delegitimizing your blood line, but now you have to deal with his crazy eunuch schemes

Got to ruin an engineer's day before he even sat at his desk :)

lot of y’all don’t wanna hear this but the reason why the potion seller refuses to sell his most powerful potion is because it’s estradiol enanthate and he’s a terf

before I commit - what's the parking situation like

Mrs G's homemade pickles are ready y'all mind if I have a Big Sandwich about it? Cappicola, black forest ham, Genoa salami, smoked Gouda, and extra sharp cheddar on potato bread

Asking for a little bite and calling it a loosie

Smacking an ice cream sandwich against my palm like it's a pack of cigarettes

follow me if u embrace chaos or like the color blue

y'all mind if a white boy wokescolds his way into some bussy right quick?