Stages of grief, RANKED.

say what you will about pablo escobar but introducing a dangerous invasive species like hippos into your country is a pretty good goof

need a chat with the girlies where we discuss which cryptids have the best big naturals

debra still at large big applers stay vigilant stay safe

heard we're skipping 9/11 2 and going straight into the sequel trilogy

sorry i haven't posted today i've been playing this game called 'Conservative, Liberal, or Fascist?' where you have to figure out the political affiliation of people who posted about Zohran's victory it's the hardest thing i've ever played

This guy walked so Mamdani could run youtu.be/kcsNbQRU5TI?...

the assassination of chris cuomo by the catboy curtis sliwa

warning new yorkers that debra messing has been seen wandering the streets with a gun and an open bottle of gin

democratic establishment bout to be on that "we can't extrapolate the will of the american people from these results" tip like a motherfucker

somewhere eric adams finishes feasting on the remains of a leprechaun and begins howling at the moon

almost looking forward to all the people posting pictures of the fallout wasteland and saying "this is new york now" tomorrow

celebrating by pointing at my junk while thrusting in the direction of capitalism's broken and bleeding body

a cheney demise and zohran win might make this the best day we've had since kissinger shit himself to death

one wolf inside that wants prison abolition another wolf inside that wishes dick cheney had perished in prison for his war crimes

in a way, me dehumanizing you is a kindness, being human is a terrible thing

they should give everyone one poke with a sharpened stick at dick cheney's corpse just to be sure

the leftists are doing purity politics again just because one primary candidate has a chainsaw arm possessed by a demon that thirsts for human blood the other arm is completely normal and the rest of their body is barely possessed at all!!

they changed the dang time again this weekend? you guys seen this? have you heard about this? *draws firearm* well i've heard about it enough

[Every update ever] Thanks, I fucking hate it

if things keep heading in the direction they are jd vance could end up becoming the most divorced american president of all time

nice breath fartface how'd you get it so farty? sucking on farts?

unlocking fresh hells off that new tier tree

undergoing that procedure to get extra lizard brains added

at this point if someone offered me a pill that would smooth out all my brain wrinkles i'm poppin' that shit immediately no questions

performing a halloween miracle and digging up colin powell so he can show us the cum vial again

well on the plus side stupid evil president manufacturing consent on a war for oil got me feelin' 14 years old again

it's the 31st of october and you know what that means time to use those remaining hoopla credits

if we're getting arrested for memes now i hope they get me for this one

The only "push notification" I need is you telling me you'll toss me into oncoming traffic

surely i can't be the only one

buddy i just ate beans straight from the can and kimchi for midnight dinner i know we're all sad

my son is making a lot of friends and becoming too cool. i’m afraid he might be on cigarettes

every day now i fear going to sleep knowing that i will have to wake up and read another headline like 'DOJ to Execute Lady Ghostbusters in New War on Woke' and i am so so so fucking tired

it is getting quite interesting watching the entire democratic party continue to do nothing to oppose fascism while more and more wine moms from nebraska named brenda start to say shit like "we should drown these nazi fucks in the ocean and watch their evil bloated corpses sink to the briny deeps"

yes yes everything is terrible but have you ever seen a child mesmerized by fire for the first time?

the haters saying there is a constant struggle between science and magick aren't quite ready for the techromantic arts i'm bringing to this battle *begins spellcasting with hitachi vibrator*

what I'm proposing is a three party system: the first party is around age 10, when you choose your gender and your name the second party is when you first see the ocean. like, really See the ocean. you'll know, when it happens the third party is when you have been almost, but not quite, forgotten

people like to say that modern times are better than feudalism but starving poors can't even eat their shoes anymore so who can say really

Amazing and fun times we live in where we get flooded with articles titled: 'The Millenials Are Actually Way Better Off Than They Think and Should Stop Bitching' '5 Delicious Depression Era Dinner Sawdust Recipes' 'How Child Labor Will Save Our Souls and Economy'

so fucked up that the only ones who get to have class solidarity are the wealthy they get to have everything except for a way to fill the ever present and ever growing void inside of them

i was so young and naive about acceptable levels of boat murder

my body is a machine that converts these homemade cinnamon apple pancakes into naps

if you really expect me to trust politicians then we're gonna need more of them who post stuff like "tearing off the sheets and sucking on that wet spot when we finish"

you can just post about clone madness if you want your original can't even stop you they'll never be able to stop you

the real clone madness was all the unethical scientific practices we developed along the way but really though, you're gonna want to avoid those clones if at all possible

Your Mother Sucks Cocks in Hell, Charlie Brown

won't be able to make it in tomorrow, boss i've got the clone madness (overwhelming desire to rewatch the movie 'Multiplicity')