Been a while since Jay Leno has been in the news for being dipshit Rasputin

"Grindr" is the "The Clash" of app names

Speaking of my un-posted doodles, this one seems relevant.

Today's Tom Sawyer gets high on glue.

Determined I can take an adequate shower using just 1/2 gallon of water, and a comfortable one with 1. That's 4-8 pints. valuable knowledge in case need to convey to british guy bout my size how much water it takes to have a quick scrub .

ME: ugh why does my back hurt all the time ALSO ME:

*playin dystopia themed slot machine app & ordering "free" Monopoly Sandwich from McDonalds parking lot again* SPECIAL INSTR: "you guys went light the last few times (and I come here 6 days a week juss sayin) so can i get some extra Monopoly Sauce on the side? thk You for Your attn to the matter"

It's gotta be 85 degrees in here and I'm schvitzing like I'm Peter Thiel thinking about the antichrist

A dame with legs 'til next business day

It's gotta be 85 degrees in here and I'm schvitzing like I'm Peter Thiel thinking about the antichrist

farouche archfoe

David Lynch-ass dollhouse for sale at the thrift store. Maybe it reminds me of other things too, but you understand what I mean

Anyone ever tell you you smell like the inside of a Harbor Freight?

[me entering Monopoly codes for "free" food]: _______________ ( McDonald's! ) '’ \o/ [OBEY] | ^ /\ (tv set)

The opposite of a Robocop is NOT a "Homocop." The root words aren't even from the same language, so your little "joke" is not only offensive, it doesn't even make sense. And technically I'm a security officer, not a cop.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other, and see which one fills up first

Six of one hand sanitizer of the other

I found this ad account when I was trying to see if there was a thriving snowglobe community on Bluesky. Remember this the next time someone says there aren't brands on here.

(taking a huge bong rip in front of the plumbers) hey, maybe you guys would know how to clean this?

Nobody would ever write this if we weren't experiencing a massive cultural gas leak

Hyperactive - live old grey whistle test - thomas dolby youtu.be/JQ3bGioFCXU?...

Grateful to have friends who will let me come to their house and wash my hair with dog shampoo

I'm not familiar with the Disturbed version of this song, but I'm familiar enough with Disturbed to know they didn't make a version that is somehow more notable than the GENESIS version, right? This is just Google being insane?

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

Nothing makes me feel more like a loathsome rat in a skinner box than entering my email address into the "no purchase necessary" sweepstakes form 5x day to beg the literal Monopoly Man for free McDonalds

There was a guy in an article a few days back made a statement about Israel's abuse of Greta Thunberg during her arrest where he referred to her as "little Greta." That particular phrasing tacks too close to "Baby Diego" for my liking, and I hate that I make the association now.

No! Country for old men. Is what they're saying basically

Sincerely endearing story about the internet (namely Bluesky) assisting in forming a cool human connection. Granted, the precipitating event was a guy exemplifying "you are 12" theory to the point of getting a flight diverted..

Trans rights are civil rights. If you aren't willing to die on the hill of trans rights, then you aren't willing to die on the hill of Black rights. Of Jewish rights. Of disabled rights. Of gay rights. Of anyone's rights. Human rights.

This was a project guitar a family friend was working on when he died (as in, in his possession, not like he died while actively working on it). I'm keeping all the weird little relics & ephemera from the case, but I'm at peace with the fact that I'm personally not putting this shit back together

Open up a fucking sinkhole for SLAB LEAK from ORLANDO FLORIDA!!! (band starts playin hardcore & a mosh pit swallows my house)

>not a veteran >wall full of challenge coins

[me & my homies moving a giant pawn on my human chess board labeled "Bari Weiss" forward two spaces] check mate left tists

Nap Time 'Gremlins 2: The New Batch' Famicom

how it feels to be a frog and toad

Daily affirmation I don’t give a fuck

I’m going to hope this isn’t the case since only TMZ is reporting on it right now but it sounds like Funky Kong might be dead.

puter man

Hard to think of a father and son who had more divergent careers than Richard and Mojo Nixon

happy sunday, remember that you are completely expendable to your employer and that when you die they will forget you ever existed within weeks and easily replace you

"A.I." boosters vs "A.I." critics

Who else just chillen??

Not a thrift store in the country doesn't have at least one copy of Natalie Merchant's Tigerlily

I’m more of a doing the dishes idea man

My life is like a video game. Bad at it.

cds were and are cool as fuck