My take on that one R. Crumb panel from sometime last year.

Dios mío, por fin.

I want ponderous moral parables delivered by OLD PEOPLE

Make Yuletide Gay Again

my life was suppose to suck an entirely different way than this

I have nothing to say but you had better believe I'm going to say something anyway

January 2025: “I will fix the economy and bring prices down!” December 2025: “uhhh…having money is gay!”

And star wipe to me crying

I slam in the back of my one horse open sleigh

Kicked out of the Sierra Nevada Brewery again for asking too many times to meet the Oompa Loompas who make the beer.

Passed by an ad for the McDonalds dollar menu that said every item was “under $4” That’s some Children of Men dystopian worldbuilding right there. The only person who should walk by a sign that says the dollar menu is now the $4 menu is Clive Owen in a movie. Maybe he should have a robot arm too

"Ironic Porn Purchase Leads to Unironic Ejaculation" is the quintessential Onion article. "Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality" might be the quintessential headline. Or maybe "Standard Deviation Not Enough for Perverted Statistician." For me, anyways

The wind chimes sound like Liberty

I'm lying very still to make sure I don't accidentally sound like a ghost

My Cousin Vinny voice:

My brain cells

Who among us doesn't love a good hornpipe?

You guys ever make interesting life choices?

The vibes are off today. I fear the vibes are off forever

Got a video of my mom saying Wicked is shallow and stupid, which is like blackmailing myself because it would ultimately destroy my entire life if my girlfriend ever saw it

FACT: openly expressing love and joy and compassion and affection are meaningful virtues in the fight against fascism.

i have this horrible disease where it's much easier to disgust me than to dazzle me

Jesus Christ Superstar

One must simp only for the Lord

"REAL PISSERS" is what I call this any time I look up a gypsy jazz-ass chord

Losing a loved one during the holidays is tough. My dad died during Shrimpfest

Tombstone Poetry at Static Age Records last night. Heard a band called Sun Organ from down the block and stumbled in. Both very good. what a wonderful evening

Hey just wanted to give you a heads up I'm gonna drop in unannounced later

they're gonna give the robots human rights and healthcare before they give it to you

(bumper sticker ideas) Practice Random Thoughts of Violence

Bringing my slide whistle to therapy

The protagonist from the TI-83 calculator game "Drug Wars" was based on me

Yes, "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein is a book about a tree. It's also about fatherhood. Perhaps most poignantly, it's a story about hemp.

Honestly, I am extremely tired of fighting for my right to party

the vinyl edition of the dolly parton/emmylou harris/linda ronstadt album comea with a really incredible inner sleeve

More interesting artifacts from the basement

Me and who

Superhero idea: The Violator (electrical code)

It's messed up that bones have to make blood. Obviously we need it from somewhere, it just seems like there should be another organ instead of making skeletons do a whole extra job

Why should I trust some asshole telling me to "think for myself" and "question authority?"

Discontinuing the penny is bisexual erasure

Proud to be part of the collective John Henry out-hating the hate machine this soulless dumbass paid for. Never in my life have I seen a guy set himself up so spectacularly to be hoisted by his own petard

REAL PISSERS

Music I am digging rn

That's a great cat right there

This guy never met a pile of anything he didn't want to sit on

The friend of the devil is a friend of yours? Brother, you need a healthier friend group

Got a talkative homie named laconic mike