we've almost made it

scifi story about the olympic curling announcers who are taken out of cryosleep for two weeks every four years

their record label just liked this lol

if you hate crowds the super bowl is the perfect time to go shopping

yeah i'm thinking about the big game

a beautiful representation of a plate of spaghetti in this opening ceremony

a beautiful representation of a plate of spaghetti in this opening ceremony

time for my annual minor existential freakout about the sheer amount of chicken wings being eaten this weekend

you're telling me the stream out of my peeing cock is the olympics??

a little engagement bait never hurt anyone 🥺

I need everyone to know that on the crochet subreddit the mods made a big post about how they're taking a week off because there was too much fighting/political posts. so there's currently no mods on r/crochet and people are being absolutely insane

are they gonna call it baldur's gate 3

this is where i post from

olympics starting soon. time to be an asshole about the beauty and purity of freestyle skiing moguls even though i post 'oh is a sportsball happening' whenever the nfl or college hoops are trending

tajin is basically lemon pepper

'superbowl halftime' is great if you hate spaces

they've got college basketball players with baseball names now

i'm a single issue voter. it should be illegal to call it 'buffalo chicken' if its just a chicken sandwich with a little chipotle mayo. and you can't call it chipotle if it is mayo with a little paprika sprinkled in. two issue voter i guess.

my sister is chatgpt pilled 😔

its sooooo much nicer

i'm a single issue voter. it should be illegal to call it 'buffalo chicken' if its just a chicken sandwich with a little chipotle mayo. and you can't call it chipotle if it is mayo with a little paprika sprinkled in. two issue voter i guess.

uh-oh two biology posts in 24 hours

its so funny that these chuds think 'survival of the fittest' means lifting weights at the gym will lead to a harem of horny women following them around

attention all 38 year olds!! new broken social scene. new broken social scene!!!! full album comes on may 8th

'dead internet theory' is an idea that postulates everyone else online are idiot 22 year olds

evening approaches. time to change out of my waking pajama pants to my sleeping pajama pants.

resurrecting charles darwin so i can prank him by taking him to the nonfiction part of a library with all the pokedex books

epstein didn't kill himself. the grammar police finally tracked him down.

it's important to eat before attempting to wank off 19th century style

ghost in the shell, freak in the hotel

who wants to cohost my podcast with me, about some middle class white men discussing racial issues. i don't think this has been done before.

i didn't even notice the dress was see-through until the second time this was reposted to my timeline

it was a lot more fun being a fan of american TV shows 10-15 years ago when we could make fun of the british for waiting 3 years for a 5 episode season

guy who points out arizona iced tea is from new york as if it is some sort of gotcha

i thought this was an error message at first

does being the 49,710th largest account on the 12th biggest social media site make me eligible for promo packages and video game keys to review?

chicken parm? huh? oh you mean chickencrust pizza.

don't talk to me or my son ever again

what is up fellow swifties!! who else is waiting for ✨ Taylor ✨ to release a song about cloacas

i saw we're doing #promosky again. my interests have not changed. because they are already perfect.

there's some poor elite rich guy out there who is livid he didn't have epstein's email address but all his friends did

uh-oh

there's some poor elite rich guy out there who is livid he didn't have epstein's email address but all his friends did

nah

this indirectly led to obamacare being watered down to the crap it is now

nerd alert!!! kidfish put on her elf ears after watching today's frieren episode

hey cuz what's up. i was just talking to grandma and she was really sad. she said grandpa is inside of ho spice, whoever she is. i can't believe it. 53 years of marriage down the drain!

luigi the eternal

save me arizona green tea with ginseng and honey 100% natural

don't tell anyone but i put it on mastodon like two weeks ago