So, verdict: do we forgive her for almost burning down the entire apartment building by shorting the power strip with her vomit?

Said the “key to my heart is a big nose” talking about animals but you know what, it’s true in all ways.

Outdoors pros: No annoying downstairs neighbors, leaves, sometimes a dog, bird calls, it’s FREE. Outdoor cons: The next person who litters is going to be thrown into a dirt hole that they’re gonna dig themselves with a teaspoon.

Showing up to Downton abbey years late to make babygirl edits of Mr Molesley

I actually never finished reading Blood Meridian because the violence was too much for me when I started reading it a few years back. I even kept my copy hidden in a drawer because the cover turned my stomach. TAKE TWO. Let’s go!

When I was a kid, I thought “prosecute” was the same as “execute” so those ‘Shoplifters will be prosecuted’ signs had a totally different connotation.

This morning, one of the cats (NETTLE, it was NETTLE, I’m naming and shaming) threw up on an electrical power cord, which started smoking. And good thing my husband was smart enough to unplug it because I was blissfully unaware in the shower.

Sorry, I accidentally hit the wrong button and cast my crow summoning spell, that’ll go on for some time now.

My kindle copy’s cover of this book has TWO typos in the title/author and the formatting is a little…off. Reviews for printed copies also complain about print quality, weird margins, and missing pages. The hell has been happening with books lately? Enshittification everywhere.

My husband was in awe of these leaves and called them “so red that it almost hurts to look at”. Autumn feels like magic, no wonder people were making witch accusations.

What if I kept my anti-anxiety meds in Garfield pez dispensers

Excuse me, I am a tax paying citizen of Halloweentown.

My favorite Muppets are Miss Figgy and Hermit.

Gonna start shipping Hercule Poirot with Columbo. It’s what Agatha Christie would want.

Read. Exhilarating, I do see how this wrote the rule book for creative non-fiction/crime writing. At times a little bloated but the exhaustive coverage is admirable and Capote’s style is lush. The town of the murders was a real character, and I wanted to stay there longer!

“I wanna wear something spooky today”, I said while standing in front of my closet full of black, spider and bat themed shit, as if that isn’t the daily vibe anyhow.

The thing about having a black cat in autumn is that everything they do becomes seasonally appropriate, even existing.

The UK is getting gingerbread Pepsi zero and I am going to be hitting up every import store, I NEED IT. As the only person alive who loved the damn Oreo Coke Zero, it should be mine!

A guy on his bike wiped out on a dangerous, tight road by me, fell on his head and I thought he was dead, he wasn’t moving. We called the paramedics and he is okay now because HIS HELMET saved his life. Please wear your helmet, friends, that was so scary!

I almost got through life without ever knowing there’s a Waluigi looking dude in Strawberry Shortcake named THE PECULIAR PURPLE PIEMAN.

Autumn belongs to the geese. Well, maybe spring does too. And summer. Maybe WE belong to the geese.

Posts a poem about Sundays on a Thursday, very clever, very ironic.

#WerewolfWednesday 🐺📚

Who is this demon and what did she do with my daughter?!

My only goal in life (in death??) is to have ivy grow on my tombstone in such a way that makes a stranger stop and take a photo half a century after I’m buried.

My coworker has a Cover the Earth sherwin Williams sweater (that he had printed himself after seeing the logo in the US) and I’ve never been so jealous.

Alright I know American friends love to see what American week is it at Aldi, and so do it. So do I. Here ya go. We’ve got the usual hot dogs in a jar but some newcomers have hit the scene.

Reading In Cold Blood by Truman Capote and yes yes it’s incredibly well-written and all but more importantly, there is a cat named Boobs.

Husband sent me a picture of passenger princess Tubbs the cat phasing out of this plane of existence.

One time I was driving with my mom and Smack my Bitch Up by the prodigy came on and I expected her to turn it off. (my mom is VERY offended by cursing.) Thirty seconds into it, she just turned it up and stepped on the gas harder. Queen.

STINKY TOY! STINKY TOY!

Read. Huh. A lackluster short story collection, I dunno. I loved one, liked two others, and the rest went down like flat soda. There were several nasty moments that actively pissed me off. People’s regular bodies aren’t horror. I may stick with King’s novels instead, this was eh.

My husband’s phone tried to change his background on him and I think it’s trying to reveal that he’s a secret wizard.

Wondering how different things would be if we all had side facing eyes like chickens. What about glasses?

It should be perpetual autumn in graveyards. It’s only fitting.

Stores being closed on Sundays is well and good except for when your cats HATE their new litter and pissed on the bed and refuse to use their boxes and your husband has to drive to the AIRPORT to find cat litter that will appease the beasts.

Two glasses of wine deep talking about the inherent romance in being a ritual blood sacrifice. I’m just saying, I’m just SAYING!

Trying to woo Jack skellington. I may not be a monarchist, but I’ll bow for the pumpkin king.

She is a model. she is Helen of Troy, she is the most beautiful creature.

to be honest I've always found it kinda fun to end up being a little bit crappy at whatever I try to do... Takes a lot of pressure off, and I feel like everyone can tell when you're doing something just for the love of the game

Things that should poison you: Eating string cheese without pulling the strings Eating PEZ without using the dispenser

Who left you here little buddy? Is your owner coming back? Are you lost?

At all times in October, my brain is playing Monster Mash. Call me Mary Shelley because I’m at a graveyard smash.

Was googling Ray Parker jr because his smile is infectious and I love a handsome mustache and this eBay listing had me briefly convinced I could order a visit from him, himself, just without the suit jacket.

Accidentally saved this image to my browser’s reading list and I sure am pushing my reading glasses up in consideration.

Someone in my neighborhood is raising funds for a Halloween garden party for the local kids and you bet I got some ghost soap from her. And then I ran back and got another bag. And I kind of almost wish I got more…ghost soaps year round.

Thinking about these Garfield and Odie plushies my grandparents had when I was a kid. My grandma would always put them out on the couch sitting waiting for me when I’d visit. Look at Garfield’s soothing eyes. He is purring, all will be okay, he’s giving a slow blink.

They should turn this into a haunted corn maze, just for me. But not tell anyone and leave it a surprise to wander into. Just for me.

Thanks so much AI review summary, without you I wouldn’t know that these cheapo plastic horns are “ideal for concealing a lazy beagle as a wild beagle”.

Read. A contemplative laying of a framework that does not fill the house, but lets you imagine the rooms. Ishiguro masters whispered sadness, a melancholy about memory and small sources of joy. There’s a post-war concern of “How can we love anything if it can break or die?”