if there is but one person doing bullshit on the face of the earth, i am that person; if there is no one doing bullshit, i have perished from its face.

when i hear shania twain's 'that don't impress me much' i wonder what this woman is after and why she is demeaning me. then i realize, the sadistic ritual of putting down what she perceives a 'lesser man' is the veritable true love she claims to be pursuing.

i suppose i'm beautiful in a dark souls 2 kinda way

i've decided to only smoke the dread joint of terror if i'm in need of ecstatic visions of hell realms

what y'all imaginin these days? i'm imagining a blue-green smiling asian girl of compassion descending from the moon and replacing every particle in the universe and beyond. just one of my many interests.

when a white boy starts up about 'fair arcadia' you know you're in for some totally ass poetry

trying to teach this HO the noble eightfold path but she keeps screaming to be reborn in the hell realms, any brodhisattvas up to help me troubleshoot this?

A and Z go so hard the rest of the alphabet ain't shit throw it out

romance about a guy who falls in love with a girl but she goes into remission and he realizes it was the cancer he was into all along.

tying cherries in a knot is cool and all but i'm the guy they hire to count the sperm

40 years of takin a shit... down the drain..

well, well, well.. celebrating mother's day, are we? hmmm.. oh, i don't know.. just seems a bit hypocritical for someone who STEPPED ON THE CRACK

adults run into each other to have sex until one of them gets knocked out usually it's daddy

when the zine so supreme that you let out a scream

Starship Troopers X Kafka's Metamorphosis: Phoenix Rising

that wasn't very deciduous of you

yeah i have a mind palace. a palace of shit i absolutely do mind.

thinking of getting a boob job. a job where i work with a lot of boobs.

someone diarrhea'd so hard that at its limits were a fine mist that i saw a rainbow in it's true all things i tell you are true and i have seen them

who's the GOAT breeder in history? like, who had the most kids, but also the coolest and nicest kids.

Humiliation Casserole

i bought an $8 spliff but it scares me i think i'm just going to keep it as a pet like a scorpion or tarantula. i like to smell it tho from time to time for a bit of scaremaxxing.

my guru taught me cum training i can survive on the energies from my balls

just gave myself the ick so bad i refused to masturbate, like i friendzone'd my ass

[making two poops kiss] they love each other

foreverially jokerfied

she thought i was packin but it was a poop that had curled up to the front 😔

for sale: micropenis, never used.

microdosing a fart

if i were a ninja turtle i would eat krang and then fit my ass into his android body suit and walk around in it

be the change i want to see in the world? so you want me to be your underwear, stinky?

there needs to be a forum called like weedwimps for people who smoke weed but are afraid of it and always have bad experiences

one poop a year

i've n ever taken a shit that didn't deserve it

when i say "poopteresting" i'm saying "interesting" but in our secret language

can the irish government just threaten enya with some fucking taxes so she has to put out another album

a proper necromancer could bring back most of what you ate and have it crawl out your ass, but such knowledge has been lost to the world.

they've breached my ring of protective candles

i was beaten and robbed of the poop in my butt what is this world coming to

lord bring this poop back to life

it's actually kind of surprising there isn't a community of guys who have set out to live like dwarves irl

@natefakes.bsky.social 🤭🤭🤭

lego needs to be the universal connector. None of my devices need to be held together by anything stronger than lego.

poop by the foot

hoolding a poop in for company

i am screaming for junk food. no living being has endured this much suffering.

what do you y'all do to grow your brain. i'm thinking about going a size up.

poopfinity

i put all sorts of fragrant sticks and seed pods in my poop to make it smell better. this enhances my potential for finding a mate.