David Scott just received the Ruth Bader Ginsberg award

Lol. You dumb piece of shit.

Heads up if night comes early today it's because I've decided to eat the sun

Billy corgan was just a big piece of shit with an interesting voice the whole time or is it just me

The galaxy s8 was a perfect phone. It looked like it came frome the future. It has never been matched.

So, how did you two meet?

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

So a human centipede but curved into a circle re-consuming and digesting each others' shit infinitely.

Oh, you think the discovery and harnessing of electricity is one of the major achievements of civilization? FUCK THAT NOISE *chugs gasoline from a coke bottle*

You can't afford housing, the economy is fucked, we ruined the earth, and oh are you stressed out? Well you aren't allowed to smoke legally either -I say as I take a deep drag from my legal cigarette on the porch of the house I paid 150k for now valued at 800k.

Great. Fuck her hateful ass.

"We've got to talk like we are people" *tries to make up a phrase that sounds like something a human being might actually say and fails spectacularly*

I think I could have soup every day and be happy. Not every single meal but definitely once a day.

My kid loves the Lego games, I think he has played through all but maybe three of them and there are a lot. I never got the Harry Potter ones because fuck that but apparently he played them at a friend's house today and then told me "I don't think I like Harry Potter much" 👍 perfect

Schrödinger's Strait

New pics from dune part 3 and all I care is where is the giant man-god-worm? WHERE IS GIANT MAN-GOD-WORM????

On this date in 2014, Basic Sandwich aired! Written by Ryan Ridley and directed by Rob Schrab, and this is how you end a season when NBC doesn't want you. #OriginalAiring

It's fucking snowing again what is this fucking shit. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

We all have days like this

People going after Seth Rogan for not wanting kids (totally fine) when they should be going after his rich ass for shilling for skip the dishes (fuck you).

This piece of shit is so out of touch that he's pulling this out years too late after quadrupling down and making CRAZY bank at the time and when everyone calls him out on this he's going to get confused and quintuple down again and bitch about everyone (rightfully) getting his ass.

I still occassionally dream in Myst.

How else will people know how to vote blue no matter who

Adobe zero day shit patch fuck dammit.

So, I only thought godzilla minus 1 was good. Not amazing or spectacular and actually after Shin Godzilla it was a bit of a letdown for me. My gut tells me I'm not out of my mind but am I out of my mind?

I have been adding a half tablespoon of sesame oil to the water (it'a wonderful) when cooking white rice in the rice cooker and my wife and son keep saying "why does the house smell so bad" Is this where I go for a pack of cigarettes and never come home?

Counting them must have been a nightmare

We’ve gone from “where did the protestors go?” To “not like that” in 2 days

These books are going to burn themselves out of embarrassment.

be pope, do crimes

one of many reasons i will never accept abandoning my trans siblings or the broader queer community for the purposes of "a bigger tent"

Drove by a cemetery in town and our son called it the garden of dead people

I really, truly, hate the jerky modern computer animation thing where it intentionally looks like it's animated at like 2 frames per second. I get the impression it's done to reduce labor and render time/costs while claiming it's a stylistic choice? Just saw the trailer for "goat" and it's painful.

Too young for the MMR shot, babies become ‘sitting ducks’ in measles outbreaks

If you're Eric adams and you want everyone to forget not only the fraud and incompetence, but also the very real damage you did to new york, you damn well be able to entertain.

Luckily for the these party leaders we don't live in a just world where they would be found beaten to death in an alley.

Luke Skywalker is such a Gene Starwind-ass name.

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

i went looking for a different reaction image, but i found this first, so

Artemis delivers

When is the last time a ceasefire involving the us or Isreal actually involved the ceasing of fire.

A few times a year when we see a picture of our son with bare feet I will say "I always forget archer has six toes on that foot" or " it's crazy the extra toe doesn' bother him in his ice skates" or something. My wife and kid are going to team up and beat my ass one day.

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

Imagining orbiting the moon and hearing that the president of the US just threatened to nuke Iran by morning.

The year is 2027. Hakeem Jeffries steps out of his nuclear bunker for the first time in almost a year in full hazmat gear. His fingertips are stained with graphite and marred by thousands of papercuts. In his hand he holds the most strongly worded letter ever written in all of history.

Imagine whipping around the moon and hearing this dipshit and realizing that on a really bad day he could just say shut it all down, possibly while you're up there.

live footage of us marines prepping for iran invasion