Today is a self-promotion day. Here’s my stand-up show available on YouTube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bpp...

I fully expect that everyone has forgotten the Channel 4 Mash Up, despite it being the reason 8 Out of 10 Cats never do 8 Out of 10 Cats anymore.

Did not expect #Corriedale to make me nostalgic for the Channel 4 Mash Up, but here we are, I suppose.

It really doesn't feel like World Braille Day today.

It really doesn't feel like World Braille Day today.

Stop. Please. These are not distractions, just because you are being distracted. All the things matter. All the things are important. The lives of Venezuelans, just like the lives of migrants or trans people, are not distractions. They matter. We matter.

So, to clarify, spray-painting a plane is terrorism, holding a sign to support the organisation those that spray-painted the plane were members of is terrorism, but taking a foreign head of state hostage needs to wait for a press conference from the hostage taker for nuance?

Properly insane how the US administration’s position is essentially that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.

I’m not saying I would ace these cognitive tests, but I still remember “person, woman, man, camera, TV” five years after he first bragged about it.

I’m not saying I would ace these cognitive tests, but I still remember “person, woman, man, camera, TV” five years after he first bragged about it.

When the fuck is the right time to send this message then, Instagram, you meddlesome prick?

When the fuck is the right time to send this message then, Instagram, you meddlesome prick?

Oh, thank fuck, he’s alive, he sent in a shit video. Was starting to worry Paul Whitehouse had locked him in a cupboard so he wouldn’t steal Bob Mortimer back. #Hootenanny

Starting to feel sorry for The Kooks being the only people not yet offered a chair. #Hootenanny

Ronnie Wood is clearly a very talented musician who should not be allowed access to a microphone under any circumstances. #Hootenanny

Has anyone checked in on Vic Reeves? Getting slightly worried that he hasn’t drunkenly stumbled into the #Hootenanny yet.

Pausing my sarcastic #Hootenanny commentary just to say, holy shit, Olivia Dean is so fucking good.

Craig David must’ve really regretted asking that girl for a 6 digit number upon realising she lived in a different area code. #Hootenanny

Six seconds late. Whoever pressed play in the BBC Two gallery tonight is fucking slacking. #Hootenanny

A brief shout out to the least hard-working person in show business, Ruby Turner’s agent, who is somehow flourishing on his one gig booking per year. #Hootenanny

Ronnie Wood? More like Ronnie Wood be better off retiring, amirite? #Hootenanny

Pretty sure the only reason Ricky Gervais is annoyed about the reaction to Rosie Jones’ Am I A R****d is because that was his original working title for Derek.

Pretty sure the only reason Ricky Gervais is annoyed about the reaction to Rosie Jones’ Am I A R****d is because that was his original working title for Derek.

Based on the clips I’ve seen, around half of the subtitles on the new Ricky Gervais stand-up special seem to say [Ricky laughs], so at least he’s enjoying it, I suppose.

Just read a three-star review of Ricky Gervais’ new stand-up special that said “Gervais can be better than this”, and, honestly, I’m not really sure he can.

Vork

Vork

I think every comedian should have the same New Year’s resolution, and that’s to stop saying “ooh, that’s going to get me cancelled”, or some variation, every time they make a mildly edgy joke on a panel show.

Big Fat Quiz and Last Leg of Christmas both did "hehe, we asked AI to do a thing" and it's as funny as "I'm going to read an excerpt from 50 Shades of Grey" that every shit open spot did a decade ago. Stop it. Stop it. I'll tag 'em. Hey, @channel4.bsky.social, hey. HEY. Stop it.

Genuinely incredible that Graham Linehan went from one of the most highly regarded sitcom writers in the country, to a man who spends his Christmas losing arguments against AI chatbots. It’s so tragic.

For those keeping track, the answer was my uncle.

I will never understand how the left got the reputation of being “easily offended snowflakes” when right-wingers get so easily upset and offended by their own fucking imaginations.

Can’t believe all of the anti-semites in the Labour Party defected to the Greens and [checks notes] immediately voted in a Jewish man as the new party leader, which is definitely something people being honestly accused of anti-semitism would do.

Your hero reads fan fiction pornography about child characters whilst sitting on trains.

Your hero reads fan fiction pornography about child characters whilst sitting on trains.

Ah, yes, WhatsApp messages from an anonymous sender. What a great way to share verifiable, definitely true information.

Why, is Andrew on them?

It is interesting that BBC News report on every Epstein release by stressing that being mentioned in the files “does not indicate any wrongdoing”, whilst their new style guide is seemingly to suggest that every single trans person who dares to exist is a potential sexual predator.

Why, is Andrew on them?

BBC news does not cover every legal battle just every legal battle led by a transphobe really makes you think

Gary Lineker also still doesn’t have a platform with the BBC anymore for saying Palestinian kids shouldn’t die.

Co-creator, writer and star Jessica Hynes does not get enough credit for her work on Spaced.

So, just to confirm, the BBC can’t keep Robin Ince on the air because his trans allyship brings the organisation into disrepute, but they can keep David Walliams, who performed Nazi salutes at the recording of this very show, on the air despite him being predatory towards women. Cool. Very normal.

Got my fingers crossed for winning the inaugural The Trump and The Kennedy Centre Mark Twain Prize.

Must be a nightmare for David Walliams, knowing he can’t even make the swing to the GB News grift, since they’ll all accuse him of being a groomer, not for his actual actions, but because he got someone else to write a book called The Boy In The Dress for him.

Well, this episode of Come Fly With Me is starting to make a bit more sense now.

Oh good.

Well, this episode of Come Fly With Me is starting to make a bit more sense now.

If you think David Walliams is having a bad Christmas now, just wait to see if the rest of the somehow even worse allegations against him get made public. Such an open secret in the comedy industry that even I, a fucking nobody, heard the whispers.

Can’t believe the industry finally decided to care about the actions of David Walliams now, just one week before we got to see him doing Nazi salutes on a Would I Lie To You Christmas Special.