I'm Friz Frizzle.

I would also like to know because my doctor has prescribed me 30mg of this a day

STATLER; "This funeral is so boring, I'm jealous of the guy in the coffin! Ah ha ha ha ha!" [Statler turns to the empty chair next to him and sheds one tear]

Writer: I've finished the Wreck It Ralph sequel! Producer: Brilliant. One note - can we name it after the time Kim Kardashian posted her tits and ass online in 2014? Writer: what Producer: Can we name it. After the time. Kim Kardashian. Posted her tits. And ass. Online. In 2014. Writer: ok

They're putting three-day old babies in prison now? This fucking government.

If you fancy helping make the first few weeks of 2026 easier for me, please consider donating. Maybe three ghosts visited you to tell you to help your favourite disabled comedian with mutual aid! Anything is much appreciated. Have a lovely new year x paypal.me/frizfrizzle ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle

RIP to the inspiration of this Nottingham off license

Today is Sunday. You're welcome.

My New Year's Resolution is to be less passive aggressive. Unlike SOME people.

So, after my year of hell (homelessness, losing a finger, becoming blind in one eye), I'm still living on £300 a month with little other income. Am awaiting PIP which I will hopefully get in the new year. But it may still be a long process. You guys have been amazing in helping out.

£300 a month is impossible for me to live on. I rely on public transport and taxis to get me places and have limited dexterity for cooking meals. It is bloody expensive to be disabled. I am determined for 2026 to be a year of solid improvement for me.

Just measured this and it's exactly twelve inches!

So, after my year of hell (homelessness, losing a finger, becoming blind in one eye), I'm still living on £300 a month with little other income. Am awaiting PIP which I will hopefully get in the new year. But it may still be a long process. You guys have been amazing in helping out.

Graham Linehan on Christmas Day 2025. Genuinely.

My New Year's Resolution is to be less passive aggressive. Unlike SOME people.

Happy December 27th to those who celebrate

[Dad's Army theme tune]

Folk who got the Quiz Book this Xmas have mentioned this to me. It's because of a comic I did 15 years ago which was shared with the staff. It made fun of the Greek Letter options. @vcorenmitchell.bsky.social then changed it to hieroglyphics, rendering the joke moot. Still an honour. Enjoy!

Those ain't random...

We've just watched Spirited and at one point, Ryan Reynolds Fucke a Ghoste

watching the Would I Lie to You Christmas special and it's a bold choice of editing from the BBC

🎵 He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows when you are started On the Muppet Show tonight

These leftover sherry sandwiches are disgusting

He's fuckeing a fysh He's fucking it twice Disobeying UNIT's science advise Russell Tovey's fuckeing A fysh

My son bought me what I thought was a drill. Turned out to be a toblerone gaffer-taped to a bottle of Bailey’s.

He's fuckeing a fysh He's fucking it twice Disobeying UNIT's science advise Russell Tovey's fuckeing A fysh

"a giant millipede stretching nearly nine feet in length" uhhh let me stop you right there

"We take identify theft very seriously, sir. But as far as we are aware... this individual made no purchases under your name nor was even sentient" Parson Brown: "THAT COLD FUCKER HAD MY WALLET"

Watching THE GREEN KNIGHT again

Right then: time to neglect that Christmas dog.

These leftover sherry sandwiches are disgusting

We watched Jingle Bell Heist tonight, a movie improved by Peter Serafinowcz and Lucy Punch, but hindered by the "second screen"-ificationed dialogue and Windows Movie Maker editing. So many circle wipes!

We found out about the fire when a customer came in, ordered 3 pints of Caffreys, then - as I handed them to him & asked for payment - said 'do you know the roof's on fire?' The roof was thatched. He walked into a burning pub for a Xmas pint. There'll always be an England.

Why does Roger the Dodger have a bomb

Somehow, Tiny Tim returned.

i saw three ships come sailing in on christmas day on christmas saw three ships come sailing in on christmas day in the morning is an AuDHD-ass lyric

I have had a nap! Time for Christmas Part 2!

🎵 SIMPLY HAVING A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN

A feast! We had duck!

Not watching The King's Speech. I'm gonna wait until the series is over and then binge it.

i saw three ships come sailing in on christmas day on christmas saw three ships come sailing in on christmas day in the morning is an AuDHD-ass lyric

SCROOGE: you there! what day is today? BOY: today? it's Christmas Day SCROOGE: the spirits did it all in one night! BOY: NINETEEN SEVENTY THREE [Life on Mars plays, a Ford Cortina suddenly crashes into Scrooge's front room] GENE HUNT: OI, DI Scrooge, get in, we've got a nonce in Didsbury to bust

Cryptic Crossword Lovers! We have come across the clue "TURN TO INSECT SOUND FROM SANDY EXPANSE" and the answer is "GOBI". Can someone explain why? We are usually good at this sort of thing.

Which do you prefer? a) Warm, spiced wine b) Warm, spiced cider c) None of the above ^ Mull-tipple choice

AMAZING GIFT!

We've ran out of Buck's Fizz so have just put a berocca into some white lightning

I like my friends like I like my sherry: drunk before 9am on Christmas Day. I hope you all have an amazing festive period. I have had a tough year, and a lot of you have helped me through it. I am grateful for those who have. May 2026 be better for us all. Merry Frizmas x

[Ghost of Jacob Marley walks in holding Scrooge's gravestone] ah fuck no, sorry, shit, ignore that, this is my first time

You boy! What day is this? No, I know it's Christmas, but what *day* is this? Wednesday? Sunday? I honestly have no earthly clue.

Somehow, Tiny Tim returned.