Nothing worse than eating your last mini egg without realising it was the last one so you didn’t get the appreciate the lastness of it

I’d have done it last night, save going in Monday morning

I don’t want to laugh at a small business but also VERY funny

What’s even the point in watching then

David Bowie: I’ve been putting out fire with gasoline Fire Warden: Right

punxsutawney phil (just had visions of pestilence, blood rain, malignant false idols, stillborn livestock): uuuh 6 more weeks of winter

What is it about HBO that means it makes so many bangers

Chotiner shot that man right in the face with his own gun and he never heard the *click*.

Feb 1970: Silver Plated 'AFTER EIGHT' Mint Holder ad from HENNINGHAM & HOLLIS (+After Eight Mints) «Silver Plated 'AFTER EIGHT' Mint Holder»

Watching old episodes of TOWIE because I can and this man is telling his girlfriend that he’s cheated on her and he goes “but you know who I am, I’m not a cheater” and your honour I have to object

Making my own double feature at the cinema tonight, do not want to see natural light or speak to anyone for 5 hours

They gotta let me climb in this thing

xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government

Catherine O’Hara didn’t steal scenes she just showed up and ownership automatically defaulted to her

Four films Jeremy? Four? That’s insane

Scurried to the local coffee spot with a cap on my greasy mop in my trackies thinking who cares, who will be there and actually there was a handsome man who chatted to me and was funny so, that’s on me

If I were a little creature I would scurry into my burrow at the smallest sign of danger. What was that?? Hehehe missed me I’m in my burrow now

This AI training thing. I mean, I'm smiling, but I am very fucking furious.

Replying to every nice, stylish, well lit picture a man has on his Hinge to ask if his ex-girlfriend took it x

I am rewatching Sharp Objects because it is dreary and cold outside and because I can

Wouldn’t have made it out of the VEEP writers room

Bolsonaro supporters protesting and demanding that he is set free got hit by a lightning bolt, 3 persons are in hospital now.

Watching an Italian detective TV show to help with my Italian learning but they’re having a crossover episode where they work with the French police and so now there is both Italian and French

Andy Burnham??? I barely know ‘em!!!!

I do think this has been the best series of Traitors so far

I feel like having one of the lunches on the Traitors would heal me

Why is the woman visiting the Lindt Chocolatier’s development kitchen to try the dark chocolate not wearing a hairnet

Sad that when the series of Winterwatch ends they have to go round and shoot all the animals :(

Every time I have to put washing in the machine: annoying but fine Every time I have to hang the washing on the airer: fuck my chungus life

I know some people are cynical about everything now and just say “eh, what do you expect” at every new low, but really this is just astonishing and outrageous, and I don’t think we should shrug at that www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

My local bookshop understands their audience.

Board of Peace??? Are you sure he didn’t say Bored of Peace!!!!! I’m available for satirical writing work.

It’s called shepherd’s pie because shepherds herd sheep and it’s called cottage pie because cows live in a cottage

Is there no-one with a tranquilliser dart in the audience

Is this not Sean Penn in One Battle After Another

The New World asked me to speak to some British trans women about what life has been like for them over the past few years - here's what they had to say, in their own words: www.thenewworld.co.uk/marie-le-con...

If you put a dollop of vanilla yoghurt on a slice of fruit cake that counts as breakfast btw, they don’t want you to know this

You know the adverts that are for like British Lamb, telling you to eat delicious British Lamb, but it’s not like a brand or company…who is behind those, like who is making those ads happen, who is behind British Lamb

So will we get a phone alert if there’s war then

Watching Winterwatch and they showed us footage of a badger and I said to the cat “you could take that badger” and Dad goes “no he bloody couldn’t”.

What is going on with what seems like every single nation leader on this planet

God I want to be the one person we’re sending to Greenland so bad, I would take a Colin cake

Everyone get to Brooklyn Beckham’s now, they’re entertaining us peasants

Baby on Board? You mean like a childceuterie?

Why don’t you just ask him to play truth or dare you fool

I am a woman in stem (I am taking pictures of a freckle on the sole of my foot at regular intervals to see if it changes shape)

Look for the helpers