i've been thrown out of classier airlocks than this.

Oh so being an aviation enthusiast is a crime now?

dogs can have pints (as a treat) #critterposting

Its still legal

Thought-terminating crochet

Nice aegis, can I do some stuff under it?

The Bait Ratio is when the quote tweets are a multiple of the follower count of the account that got everyone riled up

@cheatlines.co just thought of a name: Otto Kew (“autocue” is British for “teleprompter”)

Ordering two 150lb dumbbells online bc Im in a fight with my mailman

I consider putting whey based protein in random foods to be an act of war against the lactose intolerant and will be retaliating accordingly

No need for me to repost because it's fully 70% of the TL but: finally some good fucking content

I survived one of my most harrowing tummyaches in years... I still got it

if i could only be the Chamisul frog for a day

Leonia Teaneck is about as glamorous a name as I can think of. Like this is a woman who keeps separate wine that’s just for throwing in her enemies’ faces.

Call me a child left behind cause this bush got me acting stupid

we should warn the europeans that one time in college i had a window AC unit that would randomly spit out ice onto the floor and the corner of my bed. so they should look out for that

secure the perimeter

i just started silent hill f. fantastic first impression. someone /really/ cares about plants, this is remarkable. even when there's a garden plot, there are color variations and individually different models.

everything sure is $15 lately

We made it to Collie Friday with Tony Dogpills

Theyre the same size as Cameron the dogs mind

Become ungovernable

My dad was adamant that screwing around in construction sites caused the dread disease "lockjaw" which makes "your whole body stiff as a board" which terrified us. I was like 24 when I realized lockjaw is tetanus and I was vaccinated against it the whole time

stealing valor because mr. view's hometown's ominous megastructures blow my hometown's out of the water

The simple elegance of the famous Orange

I miss when twitter would email you updates on how your tweets did over the course of the week. And it'd be like "nice, this tweet got people excited" and the tweet would be "hello" etc.

got a chat from a coworker with a gossip tidbit and fully intended to chat her back "juicy!". instead I wrote an email to my boss with the recipients [my boss's email] and "juicy@[librarydomain].org

Shrimp is up. Algae is up. Portfolio is looking good

Time to train the puppygirls to take Carentan.

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A SHOW INTO MY SMART TV. IT'S THE LONG WAY SERIES AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE THE MAIN CHARACTERS EWAN AND CHARLIE

Me and who

saw a guy on the train with a black baseball hat that simply had “The Villain” embroidered on it in classy white script

thank you for making me very aware of some bullshit that's like three inception levels away from mattering even a little bit but is vaguely Politics flavored, im adjusting my worldview accordingly

It’s a beautiful Thursday morning, the sun is shining, the birds are flying, each cloud looks like god painted them onto the sky by hand, and I would love to hop on a teams call with you and hash it out

Pea themed wizard using the spell Podcast

I'm sweatin'

I like to say "Make sure you're not followed" when I make plans just to keep things interesting.

jumping in on the new personality quiz

So many more but I had to control myself haha. Shoutout Bryan Berlin (user:Berlination) and the many others who take valuable pics and donate them to public knowledge :-) Wikipedia needs bazillions of photos so if it sounds like a fun hobby, give it a try! commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?...

Loading screen tooltip: You’re not a miracle worker; you’re a janitor. Hold R2 to sneak past enemies.

When someone you have muted replies to a post

Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"

kathleen kennedy being a hubby gal is so valid