Recreated the motorcycle scene from 'The Great Escape' on rollerblades.

The journey to the perfect t-shirt always ends in heartache.

Pisces: The future is bright (you lost your sunglasses).

Give me a shower that's a car wash for a person.

Crazy day at work. The new guy got fired for stealing and Cheryl summoned an ancient god

The directions on this face wash lack a clear point of view.

OMG, the open toe ankle strap shoes

3/3 Studies for Adam's arms & hands, 1504, by Albrecht Dürer. These figures were incredibly carefully prepared, because they had to be Perfect.

I don’t recommend licking brick walls, outside of your own.

Trying to focus on what's most important (hair, soft lighting).

windmill gift shop, aurora, colorado, 1980

I'm banned from Buffalo Wild Wings because I wouldn't stop saying the word "wangs" with a thick country twang to everyone who worked there.

*glenn danzig voice* yeah, my linen pant summer

Feeling very backed by science.

My secret to a high energy morning? Orange juice & terror*. *unsure where my wallet is

You can just shout "my car's here" and run out of most social situations

This toothpaste is guaranteed to make me look like a podcaster.

Fine, I'll get my motor running but I will absolutely NOT head out on the highway

when you utter “cereal” in a hard-surfaced room

A salad tried to kill me.

[haunting kazoo melody]

read some positive thoughts about canned potatoes and i think an individual's fresh/frozen/canned food preferences are nearly religious in the level of conviction vs. complete inscrutability to a third party

Still get pretty excited when I know something.

Wonder what the chances are that my uterus is full of enchanted gold coins.

Rode my Mom's scooter on rabbit fast speed laughing like PeeWee Herman.

I'm really not prepared for an event of any kind.

the babadooks of hazzard

Following decades of silence from the Smithsonian, I've thrown my old report cards away.

My only contribution these days is "paisley blouse."

Last night I dreamt of a tv show called WRONG! in which experts would tell contestants that they were wrong about various topics.

The Simpsons has been airing for 37 years. Surely it’s time to give a different Tracey Ullman Show sketch a chance as a full series.

One day you just start caring about napkins.

Seems like we've forgotten about welding and how cinematic it is.

starting to wonder if wedging myself into this hollow tree was a mistake

Forgot how to spell mausoleum, I need to get it together.

imagine hating me and i’m just over here rereading work emails to see if i sounded dumb

One day I'll be found crushed under a pile of stupid sweaters.

JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this

I was thinking about what kind of farmer I’d be if I was forced by persons unknown to be one & I couldn’t come up with anything & then, as if hit by lightning, I thought: t a r r a g o n f a r m e r

Can you just leave a statue wherever? That doesn't feel right.

Regular modern is fine, I don't think I need anything ultra.

It’s simple. When I ask how your weekend was, I want to hear that you darted across rooftops, leapt onto an awning below, crashed into a pyramid of oranges, and still delivered the microfilm to the stranger in the speedboat

If someone mentions something I hate, I imagine we’re walking into a hate foyer together. I suss out whether that person, too, hates the thing I hate & if so we go straight into the hate salon.

Infomercial doctors can teach us a lot about poise and bad lighting.

Luis Meléndez (1760)

I'm too busy to do everything well so I will focus on doing it all very poorly

Nobody told me peptides are basically everywhere now.

Urns could be more daring.

📸 Stephen Shore • Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario • 1974