needed to use up some bagged mentaiko cream pasta sauce and ended up making something like a spicy tuna noodle casserole? "technically edible!" rave critics

you open your eyes to find you've somehow traded places in time with a 1950s housewife. a resigned voice inside you says it's time to put the baby in her cot, down a fistful of legally prescribed tranquilizers, and endure 110 grueling seconds of coitus with your husband, Hap

nothing gives me Yakuza vibes quite like the plumber near my house with a full sized boxing ring inside

back in ye olde days you only met 80 people over the course of your whole life and you couldn't look at a picture of some french lady's tremendous baps so if Hieronymus from the sawmill decided he wanted to suck u like yogurt how would anyone know better. it was a freer time

his conclusion? "sucking the cocks of beautiful men." inspiring

🌾🌾🌾 |👁🐽👁| 🔴👄🔴 💪👚🤳

LOGGING ON

it's friday baby

ポンプで痛み

i think the main reason i always preferred weed to alcohol is nobody ever got too high to fuck

just saw God and the devil in the same bowl of ramen

I'm so happy for her

play Cookie's Bustle with me so i know its real

spending Meal Crystals in the McDonalds Cash Shop to upgrade my hamburger

[completely flat Midwestern American affect] Bob is your uncle. Hello Governor.

Lord, sharpen my prongs

ringing the big brass "new monaka" bell in the center of town

followers new and old alike partaking of the spectacular posts available on my bsky dot app home page web site

i didn't know you were in town until i saw your car, give me a call next time

almost through week two of replacing alcohol with little treats, tonight is mantou and my traditional Big Salad

when i say "wait let him cook" this is what i mean

(knights in white satin voice) guys with nice asses

you're in her dms. i'm becoming agitated and attacking the mirror after seeing my own reflection. we're not the same

Great news! my new Toshiba TV is fully compatible with "thumb drive full of gay pornography!"

they're saying Adult Family's "How Big Is Your Dick" is the pop rock song of the century

this dude just excitedly referred to EL COCHE DE BATMAN lol bro that's el Batmóvil...

new seven eleven cocoa bread got me bout to act up...

i lock arms with the nearby revelers, our chaotic cries of "UMAMI MUMMY! UMAMI MUMMY!" hitting a fever-pitch as the sacrificial virgin's face disappears beneath an inky wave of soy sauce

KEEP HONKING I'M DISCOVERING THE SECRET OF THE PYRAMID

its just that i assume ALL toilets are "ghost-free" so it's curious to see you list that as a selling point

in hot water after playing "2 Truths and a Lie" within sensor range of Veracity Orb A991

cryptic dream that i was appointed sole US distributor of Milady brand Grape Pussy Water

tired boy dinner, nongshim toomba and salad with fried chicken and pickled quail egg

well his drool-speckled snout and his tongue hanging out and his skin was all pallid and clammy well the cause undisclosed but now everyone knows Scrappy Doo was found dead in Miami

restaurant called Gravy Train that smells really bad inside. unsafe

i haven't kept up with the series for ages but this new Poko á Pokemon game looks cheap as hell lol

the world watches with bemused concern as america repeatedly slams its penis in the car door of history

Hacksters -- the first cigarette for people with a cold

my neck my back my Portuguese carrack

"Darlene has passed, which means that Jenny will bid on the CURSED DEMONIC NECKLACE SHOWCASE in our Showcase Showdown! Now let's see what's next..."

stop showing me that other Jill. the only Jill i want to hear about is Jill Rips

oh i'm sorry i see why you were confused but my shirt is in reference to political prisoner Jeff Hugs. the FREE HUGS movement is dedicated to his immediate release

getting gumped in the forest

heard persistent disembodied chanting from afar. turned out to be a roasted sweet potato truck

the REAL posters are on Nextdoor

can I come over and do this

observing Maneuevers Monday by improbably driving my Jeep Grand Cherokee up a flagpole

Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see, except me, my battle is very obviously kicking my ass