using a moon rock to draw a dick on a larger moon rock

we put jimmy hoffa in a shoe box and burned him up

calling subway the deli

gonna clap like a seal to try and get them to toss cold cuts in my mouth at the deli

sleepin makes me feel good

doing weed

loo

got more pig cookies

weed doctor: would you say your pain is… chronic? me: ohoho weed doctor: hohoho

all i'm saying is do we know where ray romano was when kennedy was shot

they let a horse manage a baseball ball team once but homerun pyro made it go apeshit

guy loves baseball so much he gave it a little smooch

horse manager manager that is a horse and has the will of a horse

it’s a doggy dog world ya dig

mentally, i’m here

gonna clap like a seal to try and get them to toss cold cuts in my mouth at the deli

When I die I’m gonna ask God to show me on the tv the 5 closest things to the trolley problem that ever actually happened

really off key and loudly singing, "i need a hot dog"

just found some old joints i kept in a matchbox today is lookin pretty good

they should bring back cars that you have to wind up to drive and sometimes the winding key slaps u to death

the rapture is gonna happen when enough people install ios 26 and apple intelligence gets enough collective processing power to resurrect steve jobs bringing the end of days

i will never ‘Finish setting up my phone’

one time some guy broke into my house and it didn’t really register what was going on so i was like hey man you gotta leave before my dog notices your here because he really likes to bark

some horses never get to see the sun on account of they work in the mines

yeah i totally understand, shits scrutable

sorry for rear ending you, here’s six almonds four cashews eight grapes and some salami. we square?

Ⓜ️otorola zoom zoom

Just hanging out

yup yup that's your food grade dirt right there

anybody else ever see the fan blades goin' and think "ooooh i wanna put my dick in that"

*swallowz my phone* i’m phonepilled

carl’s burgers jr

muted in the amarillo college board of regents meeting livestream because i kept trying to /rtv

you guys remember this one

that was merle haggard with if i can’t take my shotgun i ain’t goin’ (too heaven)

and for dessert these fantastic piggy shaped gingerbread cookies i picked up at the panaderia

hey yeah sorry i can’t hang out turns out the rapture is happening. we gotta chill soon though

grinch and grind

using one of these instead of a bidet

hey siri text dad my name is now gucci tarantino

hop off the 10 IN EAST L.AAAAAAAAA.

In other words,

wide christ

idea for a crossover episode

studies have shown horses hear only what they want and understand even less

tipping the dj to play chameleon by herbie hancock at your reception